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Eve Drewelowe autobiographical writing, 1980s
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[A blank area appears in the top of the page - something covering the text?] I have been deprived of me! I am a private person [illegible] by birth in wedged in among siblings inconspicuously Often my declaration has been - My M, didn't know she had not ...she [was?] aware she had something but not particularly me. If she had been tonight [sensitive aware of me as an indiv. she couldn't have declared "Eve is ill because she [painted?] too much"-- She couldn't have known me or she would have been sensitive to my needs. My supplies - were the same as everyone's else - adequate and even abundant school supplies - & [illegible] my M didn't know she had me. I am a private [contradictorily?] person and I like my own time - and myself. My privacy has been abused I have hd no peace - I have not had a soul of my own - no place to go, to turn to I have not been Eve ableled to follow my star consistently - - - Been robbed by demands of others. So much I might have done differently Hoarded & [illegible] time yet there is more; there nevere was. According to my measurement time doesn't exist - yet the years dementedy hastening unsettling clock by - ... now # I live with regrets. Paintings I have tasted for years. Has colored my whole life. have colored the years Since at the My measurement - Some days [illegible] exist yet it flees from somewhere to nowhere. [Left side after blank section] Everyone else was [illegible] me some thing - I assume trying to exist not knowing what it was all about -- I wonder whether we have ever found out? I wonder whether there is an answer if I am all at sea on that [one?] and to my mind the one is as illusive and imponderable as the mysteries lying in the distribution and the waters of the oceans of the world! The wells that separate us from knowl. [image: three nearly identical curly motifs that might be instances of cursive capital i] [circled text] I am [/circled text] I have been deprived of me of my purpose, deprived of living my person - squeezed down into non- have been deprived of me and I cannot extract myself. I am no more...I have achieved. And now none of my dreams exist; many have been aborted by inconsiderate life - living...life [[illegible] seems to has no place for artists they carry the burden of the world.....--used and abused; It's just great if they get a crumb now and then! And the Book closes to another reincarnation.
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[A blank area appears in the top of the page - something covering the text?] I have been deprived of me! I am a private person [illegible] by birth in wedged in among siblings inconspicuously Often my declaration has been - My M, didn't know she had not ...she [was?] aware she had something but not particularly me. If she had been tonight [sensitive aware of me as an indiv. she couldn't have declared "Eve is ill because she [painted?] too much"-- She couldn't have known me or she would have been sensitive to my needs. My supplies - were the same as everyone's else - adequate and even abundant school supplies - & [illegible] my M didn't know she had me. I am a private [contradictorily?] person and I like my own time - and myself. My privacy has been abused I have hd no peace - I have not had a soul of my own - no place to go, to turn to I have not been Eve ableled to follow my star consistently - - - Been robbed by demands of others. So much I might have done differently Hoarded & [illegible] time yet there is more; there nevere was. According to my measurement time doesn't exist - yet the years dementedy hastening unsettling clock by - ... now # I live with regrets. Paintings I have tasted for years. Has colored my whole life. have colored the years Since at the My measurement - Some days [illegible] exist yet it flees from somewhere to nowhere. [Left side after blank section] Everyone else was [illegible] me some thing - I assume trying to exist not knowing what it was all about -- I wonder whether we have ever found out? I wonder whether there is an answer if I am all at sea on that [one?] and to my mind the one is as illusive and imponderable as the mysteries lying in the distribution and the waters of the oceans of the world! The wells that separate us from knowl. [image: three nearly identical curly motifs that might be instances of cursive capital i] [circled text] I am [/circled text] I have been deprived of me of my purpose, deprived of living my person - squeezed down into non- have been deprived of me and I cannot extract myself. I am no more...I have achieved. And now none of my dreams exist; many have been aborted by inconsiderate life - living...life [[illegible] seems to has no place for artists they carry the burden of the world.....--used and abused; It's just great if they get a crumb now and then! And the Book closes to another reincarnation.
Iowa Women’s Lives: Letters and Diaries
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