DIY History | Transcribe | Iowa Women’s Lives: Letters and Diaries | Eve Drewelowe's journals, volumes II-III, 1950s

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Eve Drewelowe's journals, volumes II-III, 1950s

Page 166

the fight. 
I knew before - of course - why physicians like mine, are reluctant to push surgery for cases like mine. After the gastro-enterostomy, however, I realized more forcibly and realistically, why this is not an out for people like me - if there are any like me, which I greatly doubt. It has been demonstrated once again, They knew! I knew! Possibly it is fortunate that I did, otherwise I might have been bitterly disappointed with what I now have. We did not expect surgery to help the nervous systems to do anything constructive for physical and nervous fatigue and more especially for gastro-intestinal neurosthenia. We did not expect the removal of several links of a digestive system to change the construction of the remaining portions. We did not expect to change the organism, to alter the consultation and the temperament of the individual. 
These wise physicians delayed the gastroenterostomy as long as it was safely possible to do so because they knew all too well that surgery brings reprecussions. They know this always leaves one less step to be taken in the future. They are mindful of the knowledge that a dismembered and reassembled pipeline has less resistance and is always more vulnerable to corrosion, then a new or even a patched pipeline. It possibly is therefore, less sound than even a faulty piece cast in the whole. This is but one more testimonial to the sound discernment and judgment of my doctors
For what is, no one is at fault, really. Everyone is exonerated from blame. There really isn't much that can be done with material such as mine, with an organism such as I. The truth is prenatal. It began with the unpropitious circumstances of having been born with the predestination of having to be an artist. The trouble is that we know what we want - my stomach and I! 
My stomach knows what it wants - it will accept no substitutes. I know what I want - I will accept no compromises. Most people do not know what they want, therefore they do not get hurt in trying to get it.

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the fight. I knew before - of course - why physicians like mine, are reluctant to push surgery for cases like mine. After the gastro-enterostomy, however, I realized more forcibly and realistically, why this is not an out for people like me - if there are any like me, which I greatly doubt. It has been demonstrated once again, They knew! I knew! Possibly it is fortunate that I did, otherwise I might have been bitterly disappointed with what I now have. We did not expect surgery to help the nervous systems to do anything constructive for physical and nervous fatigue and more especially for gastro-intestinal neurosthenia. We did not expect the removal of several links of a digestive system to change the construction of the remaining portions. We did not expect to change the organism, to alter the consultation and the temperament of the individual. These wise physicians delayed the gastroenterostomy as long as it was safely possible to do so because they knew all too well that surgery brings reprecussions. They know this always leaves one less step to be taken in the future. They are mindful of the knowledge that a dismembered and reassembled pipeline has less resistance and is always more vulnerable to corrosion, then a new or even a patched pipeline. It possibly is therefore, less sound than even a faulty piece cast in the whole. This is but one more testimonial to the sound discernment and judgment of my doctors For what is, no one is at fault, really. Everyone is exonerated from blame. There really isn't much that can be done with material such as mine, with an organism such as I. The truth is prenatal. It began with the unpropitious circumstances of having been born with the predestination of having to be an artist. The trouble is that we know what we want - my stomach and I! My stomach knows what it wants - it will accept no substitutes. I know what I want - I will accept no compromises. Most people do not know what they want, therefore they do not get hurt in trying to get it.