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Fantasite, v. 2, issue 3, whole no. 9, August-September 1942
Page 12
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12.................................................THE FANTASITE decides to write a hunk of fiction, without first either consulting Jack Woodford to find out how it should be done, or reading Doc Smith to find out how it is done. This is a fictional autobiography of one Akkad Pseudoman, born in 1920, died in 2000. It details his life from the time he was born until he takes to his deathbed, bringing in mention of his versatile grandparents (of whom no one gives a good damn!) and his wonderful, ever-loving parents. It does not neglect his amazing inventions, which range from a life-saving device used by ships at sea to his giant electric gun which shoots his spaceship to the moon. All in all, it's utterly nauseating. During the course of the book our hero is set upon by ruffians, discovers a gold mine, takes a wife, loses her to kidnappers, builds an impregnable line around Switzerland to keep out the nasty invaders, endures a shipwreck, discourses philosophically, builds a giant gun and spaceship, rockets around the moon, and returns home to the ever-loving wife. All of which leaves you colder than a dead mackerel. We weep, and feel genuinely sorry for the suckers who paid three bucks a copy for the book. We found several copies on a local dime store remainder counter. Inasmuch as the book has a marvelous frontispiece in full color (space-ships at the moon) we do not regret the dime spent; in addition there are 15 other illustrations in the book proper, including such interesting subjects as: Grandfather Lazarus, a sparrow hawk, a broad-winged hawk, a motor-generator, some electric guns, the floor plan of an underground village, Mt. Popocatepetl, and finally some diagrams of their rocket ship. The book has a technical supplement and 13 more illustrations therein. The frontispiece is reproduced on the dust jacket. It will probably be worth a dime or so to you, if for nothing else than the pictures to look at. If, however, you feel you must read the book, skip the beginning and start at the bottom of page 239. There, as you begin to read, you will find the word: FINIS --------------------------------------------------------- -*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- --------------------------------------------------------- DYNAMIC DREAM (A Sandmanuscript) By Phil Lehr The dream began abruptly. I was in FBI HQs. An investigator was showing me their library of detective magazines, which they kepy in file cabinets. Said many a story had helpt them solve a case. My eye caut a copy of Scientific Detective, the oldtime crime-cum-stf mag. I reacht for it to comment on it but could not find it. Instead I pickt out Dymanic Detective, a title I never heard of (in my dream--I bliev there is one in actuality). And it had a Paul cover! Of what, I cannot recall. But I turned to the interior & discovered it was a Gernsback publication, same format as Science & Invention, & I think dated 1923. This was cause for great excitement. An unnoen science fiction magazine discoverd! Hastily I scand the contents. There were about 6 storys, whose titles I clearly read, but cannot now remember. Except one: "Metropolis"! I recall reading part of an editorial, & there were these words in it: "...which, if it is published, will probably be called Scientifiction." I lookt for more copys but there were none. Then there was a break in the dream, I think, & when I took it up again I found myself with about 5 copys of DD in my hands. One of them containd an instalment of Cummings' "Man on the Meteor." The 5th one turnd into a small size Munsey mag, with neither detective nor stf storys, except one which was featured on the cover. On the cover it was called "The Vialent Ray". On the table of contents pg it was called "The Violet Ray". Where the story itself began it was called "The Violent Ray". I remember wondering how an indexer woud index the damn thing.
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12.................................................THE FANTASITE decides to write a hunk of fiction, without first either consulting Jack Woodford to find out how it should be done, or reading Doc Smith to find out how it is done. This is a fictional autobiography of one Akkad Pseudoman, born in 1920, died in 2000. It details his life from the time he was born until he takes to his deathbed, bringing in mention of his versatile grandparents (of whom no one gives a good damn!) and his wonderful, ever-loving parents. It does not neglect his amazing inventions, which range from a life-saving device used by ships at sea to his giant electric gun which shoots his spaceship to the moon. All in all, it's utterly nauseating. During the course of the book our hero is set upon by ruffians, discovers a gold mine, takes a wife, loses her to kidnappers, builds an impregnable line around Switzerland to keep out the nasty invaders, endures a shipwreck, discourses philosophically, builds a giant gun and spaceship, rockets around the moon, and returns home to the ever-loving wife. All of which leaves you colder than a dead mackerel. We weep, and feel genuinely sorry for the suckers who paid three bucks a copy for the book. We found several copies on a local dime store remainder counter. Inasmuch as the book has a marvelous frontispiece in full color (space-ships at the moon) we do not regret the dime spent; in addition there are 15 other illustrations in the book proper, including such interesting subjects as: Grandfather Lazarus, a sparrow hawk, a broad-winged hawk, a motor-generator, some electric guns, the floor plan of an underground village, Mt. Popocatepetl, and finally some diagrams of their rocket ship. The book has a technical supplement and 13 more illustrations therein. The frontispiece is reproduced on the dust jacket. It will probably be worth a dime or so to you, if for nothing else than the pictures to look at. If, however, you feel you must read the book, skip the beginning and start at the bottom of page 239. There, as you begin to read, you will find the word: FINIS --------------------------------------------------------- -*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- --------------------------------------------------------- DYNAMIC DREAM (A Sandmanuscript) By Phil Lehr The dream began abruptly. I was in FBI HQs. An investigator was showing me their library of detective magazines, which they kepy in file cabinets. Said many a story had helpt them solve a case. My eye caut a copy of Scientific Detective, the oldtime crime-cum-stf mag. I reacht for it to comment on it but could not find it. Instead I pickt out Dymanic Detective, a title I never heard of (in my dream--I bliev there is one in actuality). And it had a Paul cover! Of what, I cannot recall. But I turned to the interior & discovered it was a Gernsback publication, same format as Science & Invention, & I think dated 1923. This was cause for great excitement. An unnoen science fiction magazine discoverd! Hastily I scand the contents. There were about 6 storys, whose titles I clearly read, but cannot now remember. Except one: "Metropolis"! I recall reading part of an editorial, & there were these words in it: "...which, if it is published, will probably be called Scientifiction." I lookt for more copys but there were none. Then there was a break in the dream, I think, & when I took it up again I found myself with about 5 copys of DD in my hands. One of them containd an instalment of Cummings' "Man on the Meteor." The 5th one turnd into a small size Munsey mag, with neither detective nor stf storys, except one which was featured on the cover. On the cover it was called "The Vialent Ray". On the table of contents pg it was called "The Violet Ray". Where the story itself began it was called "The Violent Ray". I remember wondering how an indexer woud index the damn thing.
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