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Fantascience Digest, v. 2, issue 4, May-June 1939

Page 13

FANTASCIENCE DIGEST                      Page 13
________________________________________
 WHAT'S A BANQUET TO YOU MIGHT BE GARBAGE TO THE UNDERSIGNED

- or - 
Vice Versa

By Fred W. Fischer
_________________________________________
   It has always been my assertion that one man's appetizer is another man's allergy, a deduction that I made after watching a group of son's of the soil as they listened delightedly to a very nasal rendition of "Red River Valley" coming in over the radio. At the conclusion of the atrocity they twitched and squirmed and did everything to show appreciation of the world's finer music, even giving voice to a few exultant cries. For my part I twitched and squirmed because my eardrums had been assaulted, and if I cried out at all it was in anguish. 

   What, I wondered, could sound worse than two asthmatic fiddles and a decrepit "GIT-tar" sobbing and groaning such a maudlin ballad? I soon found out. The announcer in a bit of linguistic acrobatics compounded of five parts city talk and fibe parts backwoods vernacular, informed those listening that the next number which the "Mounting Minstruls" would favor us with would be called "The Death of Jesse James." There was lifting joy in his tones, as if a great day was dawning, and I took heart. 

   Well, I listened to the story of how Bob Ford the coward shot Mr. Howard and laid pore Jesse in his grave, o-le-o-le-a-hoo -- and then I left that mountain store, convinced that men are created freely and equally as different as day and night -- in their tastes. 

   All of which leads up to the point. I am about to present free-gratis-and for nothing those ten scientifiction stories which I consider to be the best so far written, in the order of my preference. It is not anticipated that more than six people will be in even close accord with my opinion. Five of those people are dead and the sixth lives so far back in the woods that you can't get an alienist to prove he's insane. I have already been alienated.

   So without further attempting to delay the inevitable:

   1. INTO THE INFINITE, by Austin Hall.
   2. THE BLIND SPOT, by Austin Hall and Homer Eon Flint.
   3. THE PHANTOM IN THE RAINBOW, by Slater LaMaster.
   4. WHEN WORLDS COLLIDE and sequel, by Balmer and McHarg.
   5. DARKNESS AND DAWN, by George Allen England.
   6. THE MOON POOL, by A. Merritt.
   7. THE GIRL IN THE GOLDEN ATOM, by Ray Cummings.
8. TRIPLANETARY, by E. E. Smith.
9. THE RETURN OF GEORGE WASHINGTON, by George F. Worts.
10. THE SECOND DELUGE, by G. P. Serviss.

   This list has been in the making for fully eighteen years, so don't just figure offhand that instead of having been alienated I

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FANTASCIENCE DIGEST Page 13 ________________________________________ WHAT'S A BANQUET TO YOU MIGHT BE GARBAGE TO THE UNDERSIGNED - or - Vice Versa By Fred W. Fischer _________________________________________ It has always been my assertion that one man's appetizer is another man's allergy, a deduction that I made after watching a group of son's of the soil as they listened delightedly to a very nasal rendition of "Red River Valley" coming in over the radio. At the conclusion of the atrocity they twitched and squirmed and did everything to show appreciation of the world's finer music, even giving voice to a few exultant cries. For my part I twitched and squirmed because my eardrums had been assaulted, and if I cried out at all it was in anguish. What, I wondered, could sound worse than two asthmatic fiddles and a decrepit "GIT-tar" sobbing and groaning such a maudlin ballad? I soon found out. The announcer in a bit of linguistic acrobatics compounded of five parts city talk and fibe parts backwoods vernacular, informed those listening that the next number which the "Mounting Minstruls" would favor us with would be called "The Death of Jesse James." There was lifting joy in his tones, as if a great day was dawning, and I took heart. Well, I listened to the story of how Bob Ford the coward shot Mr. Howard and laid pore Jesse in his grave, o-le-o-le-a-hoo -- and then I left that mountain store, convinced that men are created freely and equally as different as day and night -- in their tastes. All of which leads up to the point. I am about to present free-gratis-and for nothing those ten scientifiction stories which I consider to be the best so far written, in the order of my preference. It is not anticipated that more than six people will be in even close accord with my opinion. Five of those people are dead and the sixth lives so far back in the woods that you can't get an alienist to prove he's insane. I have already been alienated. So without further attempting to delay the inevitable: 1. INTO THE INFINITE, by Austin Hall. 2. THE BLIND SPOT, by Austin Hall and Homer Eon Flint. 3. THE PHANTOM IN THE RAINBOW, by Slater LaMaster. 4. WHEN WORLDS COLLIDE and sequel, by Balmer and McHarg. 5. DARKNESS AND DAWN, by George Allen England. 6. THE MOON POOL, by A. Merritt. 7. THE GIRL IN THE GOLDEN ATOM, by Ray Cummings. 8. TRIPLANETARY, by E. E. Smith. 9. THE RETURN OF GEORGE WASHINGTON, by George F. Worts. 10. THE SECOND DELUGE, by G. P. Serviss. This list has been in the making for fully eighteen years, so don't just figure offhand that instead of having been alienated I