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Imagination, v. 1, issue 12, whole no. 12, September 1938
Page 9
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IMAGINATION! #12 38 Sep MATHEMATIC MENACE "Oz" Bradbury Dear Stew-dense of Science: So many special deliverys, telegrams & telefone calls have come for my bother (er, brother) since the publication of his lecture Mathematic Minus in the July "Madge" that I, envious of my pseudonym's success, have written this 2nd thesaurus of disconnected theorys & just plain pineapple-sauce... I spent 5 minutes yesterday busily working in brother Archy's lab & here is what I found: The difference between air & water is that air can be made wetter but water cannot. A magnet is a thing you find in a bad apple. Ammonium chloride is also called silly maniac. The process of turning water into steam is called Conversation. The probable cause of earthquakes may be attributed to bad drainage & neglect of sewage. (OH? There's something in the air!) The earth makes a resolution every 24 hrs. To collect fumes of sulfur, hold a deacon over a flame in a testube. All brutes are imperfect animals; man alone is a perfect brute. The animal which possess the greatest attachment for man is woman. A thermometer is an instrument for raising temperature. The zebra is like the horse only striped & is used chiefly to illustrate the letter Z. The dodo is a bird that is decent now. There have been 3 Ages of Man since Time Began: The first one was when they used stones; this was called the Stone Age. The 2d was one when they used bronze; this was called the Bronze Age. The 3d one is since we garb ourselves in clothes; this is known as the Garb Age... My, my! I've been writing now for over an hr & I'm tired. But here are a few more to stunt your growth: A mt range is a cooking stove used at hi altitudes -- Sienna is famous for being burnt. An interval in music is the distance between one piano & the next. A morality play is a play in which the characters are goblins, ghosts, virgins & other supernatural creatures. A monolog is a conversation between 2 people, such as husband & wife. An antidote is a funny story you've heard before. A sure-footed animal is an animal that when it kicks it does not miss. 3 kinds of blood vessels are arterys, veins & caterpillars. Morojo is an MD. Yes, Myrtle Douglas! Well, as Henry said to Caesar: "Beware the Brides of March." Now I must go. I hear the gentle fizzle of my opium pipe.....
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IMAGINATION! #12 38 Sep MATHEMATIC MENACE "Oz" Bradbury Dear Stew-dense of Science: So many special deliverys, telegrams & telefone calls have come for my bother (er, brother) since the publication of his lecture Mathematic Minus in the July "Madge" that I, envious of my pseudonym's success, have written this 2nd thesaurus of disconnected theorys & just plain pineapple-sauce... I spent 5 minutes yesterday busily working in brother Archy's lab & here is what I found: The difference between air & water is that air can be made wetter but water cannot. A magnet is a thing you find in a bad apple. Ammonium chloride is also called silly maniac. The process of turning water into steam is called Conversation. The probable cause of earthquakes may be attributed to bad drainage & neglect of sewage. (OH? There's something in the air!) The earth makes a resolution every 24 hrs. To collect fumes of sulfur, hold a deacon over a flame in a testube. All brutes are imperfect animals; man alone is a perfect brute. The animal which possess the greatest attachment for man is woman. A thermometer is an instrument for raising temperature. The zebra is like the horse only striped & is used chiefly to illustrate the letter Z. The dodo is a bird that is decent now. There have been 3 Ages of Man since Time Began: The first one was when they used stones; this was called the Stone Age. The 2d was one when they used bronze; this was called the Bronze Age. The 3d one is since we garb ourselves in clothes; this is known as the Garb Age... My, my! I've been writing now for over an hr & I'm tired. But here are a few more to stunt your growth: A mt range is a cooking stove used at hi altitudes -- Sienna is famous for being burnt. An interval in music is the distance between one piano & the next. A morality play is a play in which the characters are goblins, ghosts, virgins & other supernatural creatures. A monolog is a conversation between 2 people, such as husband & wife. An antidote is a funny story you've heard before. A sure-footed animal is an animal that when it kicks it does not miss. 3 kinds of blood vessels are arterys, veins & caterpillars. Morojo is an MD. Yes, Myrtle Douglas! Well, as Henry said to Caesar: "Beware the Brides of March." Now I must go. I hear the gentle fizzle of my opium pipe.....
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