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Infinite, v. 1, issue 1, [1941?]
Page 17
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built himself from orange crates, scotch tape, baling wire, and discarded model A Ford parts. It was propelled through space by a propellor (Aha! Got you this time! Captain Creature knew that the propellor wouldn't work in empty space, therefore he always carried along a tire pump, which was so arranged that it would spary air out in front of the propellor. Slag and Blotto took turns pumping.) The captain, weak from loss of sleep, finally had the robot repaired and wound up again. "Slag," he whispered feebly, "Haul out the Vomit!" "Sure, chief," Slag squeaked in his high, falsetto voice, "Right away!" and he hurried to obey the Captain's orders. When Slag had hauled the ship out, they all climbed in. The Vomit creaked ominously, but was Captain Creature afraid? You're darn right he was! However, he had his insurance paid up, so they started the motor and were off, leaving behind a cloud of smoke that obscured the sun for three days. "I told you the carburetor needed adjusting!" complained Blotto. "Can't help it," growled the Captain, "The fellow wanted six bits to fix it, and all I had was ten cents, two bottle caps, and half a dozen Colorado tax tokens." "Oh. so you were at Denver too," observed the Eye raspingly. The Vomit shot through space at a mad pace, and soon the intrepred little group of adventurers was approaching the earth. As they circled for a landing, catas trophe struck! The motor fell out of the Vomit and plummeted into the ocean! Powerless, the craft swooped down and crashed through the window of the presidents office. "Well!" stormed the president, as he slithered out from under the wreckage, "What brings you here?" "The candle, of course," rasped the Eye. "Candle? I didn't light the candle," exclaimed the president. "Oh, I know!" he conturned prightly, "You must have seen the match I used to light my cigar!" The president was interupted at this point by a horrible, hollow groan, and Captain Creature staggered from the wreck. "Slag, Blotto, "heemoaned, pointing a trembling finger at the president, "Grab him! He's not the president, he's the nefarious Dr. Alle Corn, of Mars!!! I saw through his dirguise the moment I laid eyes on him. The robot and the fungoid grabbed frantically for the bogus president, but they were too late. He had already vanished Captain Creature, sick with dissapointment and frustration, collapsed on the floor. After releasing the real president (he had been locked in the bottom drawer of his desk by Dr. Corn), Slag, Blotto, and the Eye repaired the Vomit. Dumping the delerious Captain in th baggage com - partments they flew back to their laboratory on the sun. The End _*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_ Coming Next Issue!!! more THUDS! BLUNDERS!! MELERDRAMER!!! THE QUEST OF CAPTAIN CREATURE
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built himself from orange crates, scotch tape, baling wire, and discarded model A Ford parts. It was propelled through space by a propellor (Aha! Got you this time! Captain Creature knew that the propellor wouldn't work in empty space, therefore he always carried along a tire pump, which was so arranged that it would spary air out in front of the propellor. Slag and Blotto took turns pumping.) The captain, weak from loss of sleep, finally had the robot repaired and wound up again. "Slag," he whispered feebly, "Haul out the Vomit!" "Sure, chief," Slag squeaked in his high, falsetto voice, "Right away!" and he hurried to obey the Captain's orders. When Slag had hauled the ship out, they all climbed in. The Vomit creaked ominously, but was Captain Creature afraid? You're darn right he was! However, he had his insurance paid up, so they started the motor and were off, leaving behind a cloud of smoke that obscured the sun for three days. "I told you the carburetor needed adjusting!" complained Blotto. "Can't help it," growled the Captain, "The fellow wanted six bits to fix it, and all I had was ten cents, two bottle caps, and half a dozen Colorado tax tokens." "Oh. so you were at Denver too," observed the Eye raspingly. The Vomit shot through space at a mad pace, and soon the intrepred little group of adventurers was approaching the earth. As they circled for a landing, catas trophe struck! The motor fell out of the Vomit and plummeted into the ocean! Powerless, the craft swooped down and crashed through the window of the presidents office. "Well!" stormed the president, as he slithered out from under the wreckage, "What brings you here?" "The candle, of course," rasped the Eye. "Candle? I didn't light the candle," exclaimed the president. "Oh, I know!" he conturned prightly, "You must have seen the match I used to light my cigar!" The president was interupted at this point by a horrible, hollow groan, and Captain Creature staggered from the wreck. "Slag, Blotto, "heemoaned, pointing a trembling finger at the president, "Grab him! He's not the president, he's the nefarious Dr. Alle Corn, of Mars!!! I saw through his dirguise the moment I laid eyes on him. The robot and the fungoid grabbed frantically for the bogus president, but they were too late. He had already vanished Captain Creature, sick with dissapointment and frustration, collapsed on the floor. After releasing the real president (he had been locked in the bottom drawer of his desk by Dr. Corn), Slag, Blotto, and the Eye repaired the Vomit. Dumping the delerious Captain in th baggage com - partments they flew back to their laboratory on the sun. The End _*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_ Coming Next Issue!!! more THUDS! BLUNDERS!! MELERDRAMER!!! THE QUEST OF CAPTAIN CREATURE
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