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George C. Burmeister diary, 1863
1863-10-28
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Wednesday 28 I love to sit down to my journal and write on its pages my experience and thoughts whose perusal shall on some future day recall to my mind agreeable memories, and I desire to pen choice sentences, and gems of thought of which I feel proud of being the [?] of my own brain. But I find it quite difficult sometimes to write anything of interest, either for want of time or good humor, for there are many things to disturb my temper, that I fear I am getting to feel too morose and too [crabid?], so that I do not exercise as much beneficial influence on mankind as I love to do. I would cheerfully feel full confidence in all men, if I had not been so frequently deceived, but even here in my company are men who are anxious to do me an injury, who profess in my presence to be my best friends. There is lieutenant Mayer for instance who is nearly insane on the subject of promotion, if he could have me removed by any means, he would make use of them, provided he could escape unharmed. I have shown him many favors but now he tries to get every one to think ill of me.
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Wednesday 28 I love to sit down to my journal and write on its pages my experience and thoughts whose perusal shall on some future day recall to my mind agreeable memories, and I desire to pen choice sentences, and gems of thought of which I feel proud of being the [?] of my own brain. But I find it quite difficult sometimes to write anything of interest, either for want of time or good humor, for there are many things to disturb my temper, that I fear I am getting to feel too morose and too [crabid?], so that I do not exercise as much beneficial influence on mankind as I love to do. I would cheerfully feel full confidence in all men, if I had not been so frequently deceived, but even here in my company are men who are anxious to do me an injury, who profess in my presence to be my best friends. There is lieutenant Mayer for instance who is nearly insane on the subject of promotion, if he could have me removed by any means, he would make use of them, provided he could escape unharmed. I have shown him many favors but now he tries to get every one to think ill of me.
Civil War Diaries and Letters
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