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Fantascience Digest, v. 1, issue 1, November-December 1937
Page 23
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FANTASCIENCE DIGEST PAGE 23 In presenting this tale in its un adulterated form for publication I would like to point out a fact which must necessarily be overlooked, which you will quite likely notice yourself anyhow:----The man who wrote it was quite obviously not a writer; he was a liar. Huzzah! J. Harvey Haggard " [[underline]]I invented a machine so terrible that I have been paid a million dollars to take it out and dump it into space![[end underline]] " The space-ship swerved (pat. pending stf. story beginning No. 6) and I found myself oscillating near the control board,one finger doing a St. Vitus dance on abutton,- while my eyes could have been knocked off--- with a stick. We were in the control roomof the [[underline]]S. S. Flounder[[end underline]], a smutty warped little vessel, bound for a lonely six month's voyage among the Asteroids. And there beside me was Captain Diamond, his long handle-bar mustaches vibrating and his thin hands tangled up in his belt and picket as he tried to draw a ray-gun, while standing there calmly as if nothing had happened was---the amazing little Professor Ozzie Oggleswog! Clad in loose-gitting purpletunic affected by the scientists, his billiardbald head was accentuated by goggling and a blasting display of red whiskers radiating from his ambushed lower face. Gawd!--those words---could we have heard arightly? "Gentlemen," repeated Professor Ozzie Oggleswog again calmly, brushing a crumb from his purple tunic. "I mean it. I invented a machine so terrible that I was paid a million dollars to take it out and dump it--
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FANTASCIENCE DIGEST PAGE 23 In presenting this tale in its un adulterated form for publication I would like to point out a fact which must necessarily be overlooked, which you will quite likely notice yourself anyhow:----The man who wrote it was quite obviously not a writer; he was a liar. Huzzah! J. Harvey Haggard " [[underline]]I invented a machine so terrible that I have been paid a million dollars to take it out and dump it into space![[end underline]] " The space-ship swerved (pat. pending stf. story beginning No. 6) and I found myself oscillating near the control board,one finger doing a St. Vitus dance on abutton,- while my eyes could have been knocked off--- with a stick. We were in the control roomof the [[underline]]S. S. Flounder[[end underline]], a smutty warped little vessel, bound for a lonely six month's voyage among the Asteroids. And there beside me was Captain Diamond, his long handle-bar mustaches vibrating and his thin hands tangled up in his belt and picket as he tried to draw a ray-gun, while standing there calmly as if nothing had happened was---the amazing little Professor Ozzie Oggleswog! Clad in loose-gitting purpletunic affected by the scientists, his billiardbald head was accentuated by goggling and a blasting display of red whiskers radiating from his ambushed lower face. Gawd!--those words---could we have heard arightly? "Gentlemen," repeated Professor Ozzie Oggleswog again calmly, brushing a crumb from his purple tunic. "I mean it. I invented a machine so terrible that I was paid a million dollars to take it out and dump it--
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