DIY History | Transcribe | Campus Culture | University of Iowa anti-war protests, 1970 | 1970-11-13 Daily Iowan Article: ""The Muckraker"" Page 2

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University of Iowa anti-war protests, 1970

1970-11-13 Daily Iowan Article: ""The Muckraker"" Page 2

" The Muckracker" DI 11/30/70 2 (of 2)

pared to argue for fun, both sides of a question simultaneously, with one's self, if necessary. Arguments rarely change anyone's mind."
"Bit what do you think the university of Iowa is really doing?"
" Well, Mingus, since you asked me, I happen to have a few modest aphorisms here explaining what the university is and what it does. " A university is a place where CERTAIN things are taught. " CERTAIN things" is defined by the mandarins as "What's GOOD for you, because WE say so." Which is the definition of a curriculum. 
" A university manufactures replacement human parts for the great social machine. 
"A university is a corporate body which claims to be a community. 
" A university is a detention center for the young. Like any detention center, it offers rehabilitation training. The inmates are trained to fit into the social machine. The best training goes to the off-spring of the upper-middle-class who are nevertheless the first to denounce the training which shows how effective the training is. 
" A university is a center of teaching which eliminates 52 per cent of its entering students.
" A university collects $70,000 per year in parking fines. 
" A university taxes its students to build facilities for intercollegiate athletics so that alumni will have a place to go before the part at Elk's Club.
" A university encourages young people to express themselves by refusing to let them operate their own newspaper without censorship.
" A university is a steppingstone of opportunity for those who can afford it. 
" A university is where professors are store. A professor is a device which transfers data from notebook to notebook. 
" A university is where administrators make self-interest commensurate with public service by eliminating the latter. 
" A university hires a man to be may or so the skids can be greased for urban renewal.
" Universities are artful planners which construct sidewalks three years after a building has been occupied.
" A university encourages perceptive people to keep off the grass so they will not notice that the sidewalks have been misplaced. 
" A university evaluates students according to a system of torments known as grades. Grades evaluate a student's ability to conform to the grading system. This is considered an important indicator of his ability to adapt to society, though most social institutions ignore grades as worthless. There is low correlation between undergrad grades and achievement in grad school. There is low correlation between grades and professional achievement.
" A university is a school managed by lawyers. 
" A university is a place where 18 per cent of what is learned occurs in the classroom, according to a psychology professor who was presumably measuring his own class. 
" A university encourages the dissemination of learning by prohibiting townies from borrowing library books which were purchased with state funds. On the other hand, there's no way to get a book back from a professor if he doesn't want to give it up. A book in the hands of a professor is more efficiently utilized than a book in circulation among freshmen. 
" A university is never wrong, in public.
" A university forces students to live in dormitories which have a negative educational effect in order to pay off the debt on the buildings. And then has to be coerced by students into building fire escapes. 
"A university ignores professors who read 10-year-old notes to students who are so busy reading commentary that they have no time for originals. 
"A university spends $6,000 on beautification  and gets $70,000 in good will, then spends $70,000 on a public relations newspaper and gets $6,00 in good will. 
" A university is where a president moves his desk to avoid flying glass. 
" A university forces undergraduates to support graduate professors who don't teach undergraduates. 
" A university plants fullgrown trees at great expense. 
" A university hires high school students to cut the grass instead of its own students who can't find jobs. 
" A university is an opportunity equalizer which offers less per capita student aid than a college. 
" A university hires lawyers to determine how far students can be pushed within the law and then goes precisely that far.
" A university sacrifices its students to the exploitation of the local market place or replaces the local marketplace with exploitation of its own. 
"A university is where dead sequoia are never pruned. 
" A university is the enemy of the mind, if you're there as a student and not as a master."
" Whew," said Mingus. " Sutton, you are more cynical than even I would have cared to believe."
"Mingus, I have reasons."
- James Hercules Sutton

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" The Muckracker" DI 11/30/70 2 (of 2) pared to argue for fun, both sides of a question simultaneously, with one's self, if necessary. Arguments rarely change anyone's mind." "Bit what do you think the university of Iowa is really doing?" " Well, Mingus, since you asked me, I happen to have a few modest aphorisms here explaining what the university is and what it does. " A university is a place where CERTAIN things are taught. " CERTAIN things" is defined by the mandarins as "What's GOOD for you, because WE say so." Which is the definition of a curriculum. " A university manufactures replacement human parts for the great social machine. "A university is a corporate body which claims to be a community. " A university is a detention center for the young. Like any detention center, it offers rehabilitation training. The inmates are trained to fit into the social machine. The best training goes to the off-spring of the upper-middle-class who are nevertheless the first to denounce the training which shows how effective the training is. " A university is a center of teaching which eliminates 52 per cent of its entering students. " A university collects $70,000 per year in parking fines. " A university taxes its students to build facilities for intercollegiate athletics so that alumni will have a place to go before the part at Elk's Club. " A university encourages young people to express themselves by refusing to let them operate their own newspaper without censorship. " A university is a steppingstone of opportunity for those who can afford it. " A university is where professors are store. A professor is a device which transfers data from notebook to notebook. " A university is where administrators make self-interest commensurate with public service by eliminating the latter. " A university hires a man to be may or so the skids can be greased for urban renewal. " Universities are artful planners which construct sidewalks three years after a building has been occupied. " A university encourages perceptive people to keep off the grass so they will not notice that the sidewalks have been misplaced. " A university evaluates students according to a system of torments known as grades. Grades evaluate a student's ability to conform to the grading system. This is considered an important indicator of his ability to adapt to society, though most social institutions ignore grades as worthless. There is low correlation between undergrad grades and achievement in grad school. There is low correlation between grades and professional achievement. " A university is a school managed by lawyers. " A university is a place where 18 per cent of what is learned occurs in the classroom, according to a psychology professor who was presumably measuring his own class. " A university encourages the dissemination of learning by prohibiting townies from borrowing library books which were purchased with state funds. On the other hand, there's no way to get a book back from a professor if he doesn't want to give it up. A book in the hands of a professor is more efficiently utilized than a book in circulation among freshmen. " A university is never wrong, in public. " A university forces students to live in dormitories which have a negative educational effect in order to pay off the debt on the buildings. And then has to be coerced by students into building fire escapes. "A university ignores professors who read 10-year-old notes to students who are so busy reading commentary that they have no time for originals. "A university spends $6,000 on beautification and gets $70,000 in good will, then spends $70,000 on a public relations newspaper and gets $6,00 in good will. " A university is where a president moves his desk to avoid flying glass. " A university forces undergraduates to support graduate professors who don't teach undergraduates. " A university plants fullgrown trees at great expense. " A university hires high school students to cut the grass instead of its own students who can't find jobs. " A university is an opportunity equalizer which offers less per capita student aid than a college. " A university hires lawyers to determine how far students can be pushed within the law and then goes precisely that far. " A university sacrifices its students to the exploitation of the local market place or replaces the local marketplace with exploitation of its own. "A university is where dead sequoia are never pruned. " A university is the enemy of the mind, if you're there as a student and not as a master." " Whew," said Mingus. " Sutton, you are more cynical than even I would have cared to believe." "Mingus, I have reasons." - James Hercules Sutton