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Le Zombie, v. 4, issue 1, whole no. 36, January 1941
Page 13
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(Keeping up with Fanny - cont.) Direct quotation from Fantasy News for Dec. 22, 1940: (quote) "On the basis of the official report, re the Chicon (92 registered, and official count 125) . . . . . " (unquote) Golly, that one kept the good old Director, J. Embezzler Tucker, of the IFF, spinning in a daze for hours! Curses --- how had those ace reporters gotten to my private books? Why, no one but myself knew the actual figure....because I had in my possession, ever since the Chicon, the OFFICIAL REGISTRATION BOOK. And it, nor any part of it, has been released anywhere yet! I came to the conclusion that Billy boy was addicted to crystal gazing. A sad state of affairs, I am informed. Tch. Just what the "official count" at the Chicon was, is hard to say...... Korshak, Reinsberg, Meyer and myself counted noses. And none of us arrived at the same total! So who then, is to say what the "official count" was? My suggestion is to forget it. The best that can be said is that a dozen or so wandered in and out of the hall gain without getting their names on the Registration book. And by actual count, the book shows 128. That is "official" enough for us. Perhaps billy had better tend to the cracks in his crystal ball, or have it simonized. No second-rate crystal ball can read correct figures from a closed book. From the same issue, another: (quote) "Mr Sterling's motion was not put on the floor because the Nycon committee had decided against motions (just as the Chicon committee made decisions without a general vote." (unquote) Now we must admit that that statement in the parenthesis is "Skyorizing the news" a little too far. How the club members in the West Texas Strangers League must have gaped and giggled when that issue of Fanny was read to them instead of the usual comic book! The Chicon committee points with[[?]] exclusive pride to the fact that motions and counter-motions and amendments and all the democratic processes that attends motions were in abundance! The Chicon committee made decisions without a general vote? Bosh and nonsense Billy lad! Yes --- we did decide where to set up the projector without taking a vote from the delegates, and we also decided to hang a Paul picture over in the corner without first asking them -- but (and get this important but, sonnyboy:) No important or even half-important step or action was acted upon or worked out without actual vote! Ask 128 fans to corroborate this, and then fold up that alleged NEWS paper of yours and depart. You now owe fandom a debt so great you can never be clear. To sum up, and to repeat the statement made last year by another fan: Fantasy News is as good as its name: FANTASY ... pure fantasy ..news. -Bob Tucker Director: Illini Fantasy Fictioneers APOLOGY DEPT: We apologize to our readers for taking up two pages to try and clear up some of the mess that has been made in this process known as "Sykor izing". We even apologize for waving his name in front of your (perhaps) unwilling eyes. But this had to be printed somewhere, and we don't like to ask other fanmags to do it. How long, we wonder, must fans and fan editors continue to have to do this sort of thing to help clear issues? Isn't there some way Fantasy news can be kept from plauging us with untruths and tainted news, implied lies, and etc. ???
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(Keeping up with Fanny - cont.) Direct quotation from Fantasy News for Dec. 22, 1940: (quote) "On the basis of the official report, re the Chicon (92 registered, and official count 125) . . . . . " (unquote) Golly, that one kept the good old Director, J. Embezzler Tucker, of the IFF, spinning in a daze for hours! Curses --- how had those ace reporters gotten to my private books? Why, no one but myself knew the actual figure....because I had in my possession, ever since the Chicon, the OFFICIAL REGISTRATION BOOK. And it, nor any part of it, has been released anywhere yet! I came to the conclusion that Billy boy was addicted to crystal gazing. A sad state of affairs, I am informed. Tch. Just what the "official count" at the Chicon was, is hard to say...... Korshak, Reinsberg, Meyer and myself counted noses. And none of us arrived at the same total! So who then, is to say what the "official count" was? My suggestion is to forget it. The best that can be said is that a dozen or so wandered in and out of the hall gain without getting their names on the Registration book. And by actual count, the book shows 128. That is "official" enough for us. Perhaps billy had better tend to the cracks in his crystal ball, or have it simonized. No second-rate crystal ball can read correct figures from a closed book. From the same issue, another: (quote) "Mr Sterling's motion was not put on the floor because the Nycon committee had decided against motions (just as the Chicon committee made decisions without a general vote." (unquote) Now we must admit that that statement in the parenthesis is "Skyorizing the news" a little too far. How the club members in the West Texas Strangers League must have gaped and giggled when that issue of Fanny was read to them instead of the usual comic book! The Chicon committee points with[[?]] exclusive pride to the fact that motions and counter-motions and amendments and all the democratic processes that attends motions were in abundance! The Chicon committee made decisions without a general vote? Bosh and nonsense Billy lad! Yes --- we did decide where to set up the projector without taking a vote from the delegates, and we also decided to hang a Paul picture over in the corner without first asking them -- but (and get this important but, sonnyboy:) No important or even half-important step or action was acted upon or worked out without actual vote! Ask 128 fans to corroborate this, and then fold up that alleged NEWS paper of yours and depart. You now owe fandom a debt so great you can never be clear. To sum up, and to repeat the statement made last year by another fan: Fantasy News is as good as its name: FANTASY ... pure fantasy ..news. -Bob Tucker Director: Illini Fantasy Fictioneers APOLOGY DEPT: We apologize to our readers for taking up two pages to try and clear up some of the mess that has been made in this process known as "Sykor izing". We even apologize for waving his name in front of your (perhaps) unwilling eyes. But this had to be printed somewhere, and we don't like to ask other fanmags to do it. How long, we wonder, must fans and fan editors continue to have to do this sort of thing to help clear issues? Isn't there some way Fantasy news can be kept from plauging us with untruths and tainted news, implied lies, and etc. ???
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