DIY History | Transcribe | Hevelin Fanzines | Fanfare, whole no. 10, December 1943

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Fanfare, whole no. 10, December 1943

Page 27

   "This is fiction, not fact, so the first two were failures. The first time he used a fixed cable & the ship was yanked right out from under his nose. Charley Ross* was asleep in the cabin. The second time he had sense enuf to hook an automatic windlass on the cable, but he used mail-order skyhooks, & they let go when the ship was a total loss. It hit somewhere in Siberia & killed a lot of Soviets. I think they blamed it on the English. Anyway, he named the third one 'Skyhook IV' & foxed the jinx."
   "Man & boy, I've never seen another ship like that! He had a couple of scientific nuts working on the plans--Smith & Campbell**, they called themselves. They'd get over on opposite sides of the hangar & squirt water at each other - just in fun, you know - & when Hugo shut off the water they threw chain-lightning, & when he cut off the power they got a pair of nut-crackers & began to bust atoms & use 'em for hand grenades. There was a fine pair of lads!
   "Well, ma'am, to keep 'em apart, the Baron gave 'em separate jobs. Smith he put on the skyhooks & Campbell he gave the cable. Only Campbell fell in love with a cigarette ad in Vanity Fair & married a plantation#, so there we were, up to our ears in his curleycue tensors & elastic geodesics & such, with nothing to tell what went where. The Baron was all busted up over it, & Hugo was no darn good, so I took 'em & jammed 'em in where they fitted, & when Smith got done with his skyhooks we took off.
   "Man & boy,  I've never seen such a day! The crew was blow with me to keep 'em in their places. Smith was sft taking a little snack of Riemann geometry to stay him over until tea-time.
   "Al X?' shouts the Baron. 
   "'A,A,' says I.
   "And were off!
   "There was a streak of lite, all colors mixed, & then, we saw a big red stay headed right at us. 
_____________________________________
* So that's where he went? Or was it Charley Fort?
** Edward Elmer, PHD, & John Wood Jr.
# Based on an erroneous report by Julius Schwartz, that JWC had wed a tobacco heiress.

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"This is fiction, not fact, so the first two were failures. The first time he used a fixed cable & the ship was yanked right out from under his nose. Charley Ross* was asleep in the cabin. The second time he had sense enuf to hook an automatic windlass on the cable, but he used mail-order skyhooks, & they let go when the ship was a total loss. It hit somewhere in Siberia & killed a lot of Soviets. I think they blamed it on the English. Anyway, he named the third one 'Skyhook IV' & foxed the jinx." "Man & boy, I've never seen another ship like that! He had a couple of scientific nuts working on the plans--Smith & Campbell**, they called themselves. They'd get over on opposite sides of the hangar & squirt water at each other - just in fun, you know - & when Hugo shut off the water they threw chain-lightning, & when he cut off the power they got a pair of nut-crackers & began to bust atoms & use 'em for hand grenades. There was a fine pair of lads! "Well, ma'am, to keep 'em apart, the Baron gave 'em separate jobs. Smith he put on the skyhooks & Campbell he gave the cable. Only Campbell fell in love with a cigarette ad in Vanity Fair & married a plantation#, so there we were, up to our ears in his curleycue tensors & elastic geodesics & such, with nothing to tell what went where. The Baron was all busted up over it, & Hugo was no darn good, so I took 'em & jammed 'em in where they fitted, & when Smith got done with his skyhooks we took off. "Man & boy, I've never seen such a day! The crew was blow with me to keep 'em in their places. Smith was sft taking a little snack of Riemann geometry to stay him over until tea-time. "Al X?' shouts the Baron. "'A,A,' says I. "And were off! "There was a streak of lite, all colors mixed, & then, we saw a big red stay headed right at us. _____________________________________ * So that's where he went? Or was it Charley Fort? ** Edward Elmer, PHD, & John Wood Jr. # Based on an erroneous report by Julius Schwartz, that JWC had wed a tobacco heiress.