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Damn Thing, v. 1, issue 2, December 1940

Page 3

THE EDITOR SITS ON HIS platform
Beautiful Jade, and cut glass;
Budah's sitting on his - platform
And you may be quite assured that my own particular platform has, in the course of the past few weeks, heated up to quite such an extent, that my perception of any number of items has been almost warped.
For those who are not quite in sympathy with this bombastic little publication, I wish to prolong your misery by stating that, as yet, I have received no time bombs or other projectiles of a deffinatly harmfull nature. I did receive a peculiar package from New Jersey which actually ticks! This is all very peculiar, and I have stored the package in the Shangri-La Photoshop for further investigation.
Before me on the desk, I have a number of little items which I have vowed to take up in this personal corner. A number of changes, for one thing, are in order. Those who were so unfortunate as to receive a copy of the first thing, will recall that in very faint and uncertain letters on the table of contents, there appeared the words: "Every six weeks."
We now have a new policy, propounded to keep up interest towards our jovial endeavour. Ordinary magasines which say "every six weeks" are apt to appear right on the dot. Around the end of every sixth week the subscriber expects, and gets, his dime's worth. The same goes for magasines which come out every eight weeks. THE DAMN THING, to be different, is going to come out SOMETIME BETWEEN every six and eight weeks. Thus, at the end every sixth week, the reader commences to expect a DAMN THING. The tension mounts from week to week. By the eighth week he is a nervour wreck. When the DAMN THING finally comes, he collapses. In a comma, he reads the mag, and there is a subtle psychologicle suggestion by Fassbinder which causes him to take out a life subscription.
During the span of the first issue, we have made many friends. Also a number of enemies. I have been bombarded from all sides by subtle suggestions to dive off the Brooklyn Bridge when the river is frozen over. This too, I can't understand. If I dove off when the river was bot frozen, I might have a chance to emerge alive. However, to dive off when the river is icebound would be sheer suicide. What does Moscowitz want me to do? Kill myself?
Lost garbled news reach out regarding the absence of the announced Heinlein Satire by Fassbinder, we shall herewith set it straight, though we remain somewhat biased. After having written, stencilled and run off one hundred sheets on both sides, we received first a note from Ackerman, followed by a note from Mrs. Heinlein to the effect that they did not want it published at all. Well, we admit that the Heinleins are quite within their right in not wishing the matter to be published, and as you can see, the hundred sheets of paper have been physically altered in their form. i.e., they are now a form of crabon. The editor re-
(Continued on page 18,.)

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THE EDITOR SITS ON HIS platform Beautiful Jade, and cut glass; Budah's sitting on his - platform And you may be quite assured that my own particular platform has, in the course of the past few weeks, heated up to quite such an extent, that my perception of any number of items has been almost warped. For those who are not quite in sympathy with this bombastic little publication, I wish to prolong your misery by stating that, as yet, I have received no time bombs or other projectiles of a deffinatly harmfull nature. I did receive a peculiar package from New Jersey which actually ticks! This is all very peculiar, and I have stored the package in the Shangri-La Photoshop for further investigation. Before me on the desk, I have a number of little items which I have vowed to take up in this personal corner. A number of changes, for one thing, are in order. Those who were so unfortunate as to receive a copy of the first thing, will recall that in very faint and uncertain letters on the table of contents, there appeared the words: "Every six weeks." We now have a new policy, propounded to keep up interest towards our jovial endeavour. Ordinary magasines which say "every six weeks" are apt to appear right on the dot. Around the end of every sixth week the subscriber expects, and gets, his dime's worth. The same goes for magasines which come out every eight weeks. THE DAMN THING, to be different, is going to come out SOMETIME BETWEEN every six and eight weeks. Thus, at the end every sixth week, the reader commences to expect a DAMN THING. The tension mounts from week to week. By the eighth week he is a nervour wreck. When the DAMN THING finally comes, he collapses. In a comma, he reads the mag, and there is a subtle psychologicle suggestion by Fassbinder which causes him to take out a life subscription. During the span of the first issue, we have made many friends. Also a number of enemies. I have been bombarded from all sides by subtle suggestions to dive off the Brooklyn Bridge when the river is frozen over. This too, I can't understand. If I dove off when the river was bot frozen, I might have a chance to emerge alive. However, to dive off when the river is icebound would be sheer suicide. What does Moscowitz want me to do? Kill myself? Lost garbled news reach out regarding the absence of the announced Heinlein Satire by Fassbinder, we shall herewith set it straight, though we remain somewhat biased. After having written, stencilled and run off one hundred sheets on both sides, we received first a note from Ackerman, followed by a note from Mrs. Heinlein to the effect that they did not want it published at all. Well, we admit that the Heinleins are quite within their right in not wishing the matter to be published, and as you can see, the hundred sheets of paper have been physically altered in their form. i.e., they are now a form of crabon. The editor re- (Continued on page 18,.)