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Wavelength, issue 1
Page 5
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WAVELENGTH 5 ////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// MAN INTO M+O+N+S+T+E+R :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: by Henry Andrew Ackermann -----:------:----- "What a night!" exclaimed Mrs. Trerp. "You hollored like a lost so-ul. I hardly slept at all. You kept screaming, 'Let me go! Let me go!' all night long." I'm sorry, Sweety-Pie," said Mr. Terp, contritely as he poured milk on his breakfast cereal. "I had the willies again." His wife smiled disdainfully. "Things chased me," exclaimed Mr. Twerp. "Terrible things with eyes that clared and lips that snarled to show gleaming fangs and I seemed to be stuck to the ground so I couldn't run away. It was horrible!" He shuddered at the unpleasant recollection. "Why should anything chase you, Justin Twerp, even in a nightmare?? Well?" "They do." "If they caught you what about they get?" "Aw, now Honey-Bunch, you're always belittlin' me," said Mr Twerp. "I earn good money, don't I? I don't drink or run around, do I? There are lots of worse husbands than me..." "Where?" shrilled Mrs Twerp, warming to her work. "Awm, now Baby-Lambkins, lay off, can't you?" "Because you look like a sheep you must bleat like one, Justin Twe-rp?" Diffidently he pushed his cereal bowl towards her. She pushed it ba-ck, still empty. "No," she stated with finality, "you cannot have a second helping of Bloated Rice. I won't have you getting fat on me." "Aw, now Clara," protested Mr. Twerp, "I got a big schedule ahead of me today. You might let a man have a breakfast that'll stick to his r-ips." "Did you say 'man'?" Mr. Twerp ignored this cutting question. He repeated his request, but his wife was adamant in her refusal. "Wipe the egg off your vest a nd take The Earl of Devonshire out for his morning excercise," she ordered. "But I don't want to be late for my appointment," complained Mister Twerp. "I'm to meet Mr. Margulies today at ten and..." "Here's the Early," said his wife, paying no heed to his feeble rem-onstrations as she shoved him a mean-eyed bull terrier. "But, Clara," said Mr. Twerp, "The Early always tried to bite that poodle from next foor and the man who owns it says he'll punch me nose if it happens again." "Punch back," said Mrs. Twerp. "You're as big as he is. Bigger." "Now, Sweety-Pie..." began Mr. Twerp. "On your way." -----:------:----- Ten minutes later Mr. Twerp returned with the dog and a bleeding nose. "The Earl bit the poodle," he declared.
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WAVELENGTH 5 ////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// MAN INTO M+O+N+S+T+E+R :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: by Henry Andrew Ackermann -----:------:----- "What a night!" exclaimed Mrs. Trerp. "You hollored like a lost so-ul. I hardly slept at all. You kept screaming, 'Let me go! Let me go!' all night long." I'm sorry, Sweety-Pie," said Mr. Terp, contritely as he poured milk on his breakfast cereal. "I had the willies again." His wife smiled disdainfully. "Things chased me," exclaimed Mr. Twerp. "Terrible things with eyes that clared and lips that snarled to show gleaming fangs and I seemed to be stuck to the ground so I couldn't run away. It was horrible!" He shuddered at the unpleasant recollection. "Why should anything chase you, Justin Twerp, even in a nightmare?? Well?" "They do." "If they caught you what about they get?" "Aw, now Honey-Bunch, you're always belittlin' me," said Mr Twerp. "I earn good money, don't I? I don't drink or run around, do I? There are lots of worse husbands than me..." "Where?" shrilled Mrs Twerp, warming to her work. "Awm, now Baby-Lambkins, lay off, can't you?" "Because you look like a sheep you must bleat like one, Justin Twe-rp?" Diffidently he pushed his cereal bowl towards her. She pushed it ba-ck, still empty. "No," she stated with finality, "you cannot have a second helping of Bloated Rice. I won't have you getting fat on me." "Aw, now Clara," protested Mr. Twerp, "I got a big schedule ahead of me today. You might let a man have a breakfast that'll stick to his r-ips." "Did you say 'man'?" Mr. Twerp ignored this cutting question. He repeated his request, but his wife was adamant in her refusal. "Wipe the egg off your vest a nd take The Earl of Devonshire out for his morning excercise," she ordered. "But I don't want to be late for my appointment," complained Mister Twerp. "I'm to meet Mr. Margulies today at ten and..." "Here's the Early," said his wife, paying no heed to his feeble rem-onstrations as she shoved him a mean-eyed bull terrier. "But, Clara," said Mr. Twerp, "The Early always tried to bite that poodle from next foor and the man who owns it says he'll punch me nose if it happens again." "Punch back," said Mrs. Twerp. "You're as big as he is. Bigger." "Now, Sweety-Pie..." began Mr. Twerp. "On your way." -----:------:----- Ten minutes later Mr. Twerp returned with the dog and a bleeding nose. "The Earl bit the poodle," he declared.
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