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Spacewarp, v. 3, issue 4, July 1948
Page 12
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for these things, the universe continued its confusing existence as usual. Then came the time for departure. The ship was loaded with fans and beer; the scientific members agreed that beer was one of the few substances that took the place of both food and drink. Von Heine gave last minute instructions in ruptured English. "Der ship py der control here starts. I vill to der back mit der transmitter go, und ven I der signal giffs, vun of you begin it going." With that, the professor left for the read of the ship. Several minutes of tense silence passed. "I wish he would get the lead out," one fan said at last. "I am just itching to press that button." "That shows how much you know about spaceships," muttered another, "because you don't press the button, you turn it." "It wouldn't be a button if you turned it," replied the other. "It would be a knob if you turned it." "That's probably what Von Heine meant, only he didn't know the word for it." "He wrote thirty-four stf stories last year, not counting reprints; he should know the difference between a knob and a button by now!" "Aw, you don't know from sour grapes. You turn it." "Push it!" "Turn it!" "I'll show you. See, you push it like this." "Well bless my bems, you're right," admitted the knob-supporter as the Earth dropped swiftly away from them. "HELB!" "Did you hear something?" asked one fan. "HILFE! Kommen Sie schnell! Teufel und Blitzen! Warten Sie!" "Sounds like somebody hollering in German." "Good Lord! Von Heine!" gasped the one who had pushed the button. "Find him, some one. He is the only one who knows how to run this thing out in space." And while the fans were searching the inside of the ship, especially the beer compartment, a pal, frightened von Heine was clinging to the outside of the craft as it screamed through rapidly thinning air. - TO BE CONTINUED - ((What next? We've given up trying to guess. Due to the short time before the August issue of SPACEWARP, we've made special arrangements for a Part Seven -- so save those brainstorms of yours to use in Part Eight after you get the next issue of SPACEWARP.)) 16
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for these things, the universe continued its confusing existence as usual. Then came the time for departure. The ship was loaded with fans and beer; the scientific members agreed that beer was one of the few substances that took the place of both food and drink. Von Heine gave last minute instructions in ruptured English. "Der ship py der control here starts. I vill to der back mit der transmitter go, und ven I der signal giffs, vun of you begin it going." With that, the professor left for the read of the ship. Several minutes of tense silence passed. "I wish he would get the lead out," one fan said at last. "I am just itching to press that button." "That shows how much you know about spaceships," muttered another, "because you don't press the button, you turn it." "It wouldn't be a button if you turned it," replied the other. "It would be a knob if you turned it." "That's probably what Von Heine meant, only he didn't know the word for it." "He wrote thirty-four stf stories last year, not counting reprints; he should know the difference between a knob and a button by now!" "Aw, you don't know from sour grapes. You turn it." "Push it!" "Turn it!" "I'll show you. See, you push it like this." "Well bless my bems, you're right," admitted the knob-supporter as the Earth dropped swiftly away from them. "HELB!" "Did you hear something?" asked one fan. "HILFE! Kommen Sie schnell! Teufel und Blitzen! Warten Sie!" "Sounds like somebody hollering in German." "Good Lord! Von Heine!" gasped the one who had pushed the button. "Find him, some one. He is the only one who knows how to run this thing out in space." And while the fans were searching the inside of the ship, especially the beer compartment, a pal, frightened von Heine was clinging to the outside of the craft as it screamed through rapidly thinning air. - TO BE CONTINUED - ((What next? We've given up trying to guess. Due to the short time before the August issue of SPACEWARP, we've made special arrangements for a Part Seven -- so save those brainstorms of yours to use in Part Eight after you get the next issue of SPACEWARP.)) 16
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