DIY History | Transcribe | Hevelin Fanzines | Spacewarp, v. 3, issue 4, July 1948

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Spacewarp, v. 3, issue 4, July 1948

Page 18

"It's that time-travel yard I've been working on for so long," I said. "You know -- the one where the hero tracks down the villain after months of effort, but too late to overcome him before the horrible plot to destroy Earth has been set in operation. So the hero goes back in time to the villain's childhood and beats out his brains with a baseball bat."

Botts shuddered slightly and took another long pull at his beer. "Oh, NO!" he pleaded. "You mean some poor deluded simp of an editor act-ually bought that old chestnut from you?"

"The plot has been used once or twice before," I admitted grudgingly.

"Ye gods! Once or twice!" Botts mumbled inarticulately for a mo-ment, then with an expressive shrug of his shoulders tackled a fresh stein.

"So what?" I said defiantly. "You've often said yourself that there's no such thing as an absolutely new plot. In fact, if you remem-ber Conner's famous book on the subject, the whole secret of successful stfwriting is to make old plots seem new."

Botts regarded me quizzically. "You say you've already sold this story?" he asked. "How comes you're just mailing it out, then?"

"Well," I explained, "I have sold it, but the editor wanted me to rework the passage where I explain time-travel paradoxes. He said I needed to bring in more technical terms so that the science would be au-thentic, as well as absolutely clear. Since the whole point of the story depends on the time-travel incident, it's important that everyone under-stands the paradox-theorem.W

Botts downed another beer. "I can just imagine you trying to ex-plain the science of time-travel," he said sarcastically. "Your idea of an explanation is to use ten-syllable words to express one-syllable ideas. Your college education has ruined you, Bud."

"Oh yeah?" I retorted indignantly. "At least I know the principles behind time-travel. I bet you couldn't give the basic factors of Wolf-gang's Temporal-Continuum Equation without boning up on the subject."

"What's that got to do with a trip into the past?" Bots wanted to know.

"Why, don't you know the seventh transformation of the Wolfgang Parameters alters the hyperspatial matrix so that the plasticity of fut-ure-time is also applicable to past-time, thereby generating a Weber Self-Annihilating Paradox? In other words, if you alter the past so that it affects the future, thus creating alternate probabilities, both probab-ilities cease to exist."

"Oh NO! Oh, Great Simpering Ghu-Lovers!" Botts tore at his hair with both hands. "Bud, don't tell me you've had the Ghu-drenched imbe-cillity to use Weber's Metaphysical Basis of Extratemportal Physics as your source-book!"

"Why, yes. What's wrong with--"

"Haven't you heard? Haven't you seen the papers?" asked Botts. "The Physicists' Association has just revealed that Weber misinterpreted.

Saving...

"It's that time-travel yard I've been working on for so long," I said. "You know -- the one where the hero tracks down the villain after months of effort, but too late to overcome him before the horrible plot to destroy Earth has been set in operation. So the hero goes back in time to the villain's childhood and beats out his brains with a baseball bat." Botts shuddered slightly and took another long pull at his beer. "Oh, NO!" he pleaded. "You mean some poor deluded simp of an editor act-ually bought that old chestnut from you?" "The plot has been used once or twice before," I admitted grudgingly. "Ye gods! Once or twice!" Botts mumbled inarticulately for a mo-ment, then with an expressive shrug of his shoulders tackled a fresh stein. "So what?" I said defiantly. "You've often said yourself that there's no such thing as an absolutely new plot. In fact, if you remem-ber Conner's famous book on the subject, the whole secret of successful stfwriting is to make old plots seem new." Botts regarded me quizzically. "You say you've already sold this story?" he asked. "How comes you're just mailing it out, then?" "Well," I explained, "I have sold it, but the editor wanted me to rework the passage where I explain time-travel paradoxes. He said I needed to bring in more technical terms so that the science would be au-thentic, as well as absolutely clear. Since the whole point of the story depends on the time-travel incident, it's important that everyone under-stands the paradox-theorem.W Botts downed another beer. "I can just imagine you trying to ex-plain the science of time-travel," he said sarcastically. "Your idea of an explanation is to use ten-syllable words to express one-syllable ideas. Your college education has ruined you, Bud." "Oh yeah?" I retorted indignantly. "At least I know the principles behind time-travel. I bet you couldn't give the basic factors of Wolf-gang's Temporal-Continuum Equation without boning up on the subject." "What's that got to do with a trip into the past?" Bots wanted to know. "Why, don't you know the seventh transformation of the Wolfgang Parameters alters the hyperspatial matrix so that the plasticity of fut-ure-time is also applicable to past-time, thereby generating a Weber Self-Annihilating Paradox? In other words, if you alter the past so that it affects the future, thus creating alternate probabilities, both probab-ilities cease to exist." "Oh NO! Oh, Great Simpering Ghu-Lovers!" Botts tore at his hair with both hands. "Bud, don't tell me you've had the Ghu-drenched imbe-cillity to use Weber's Metaphysical Basis of Extratemportal Physics as your source-book!" "Why, yes. What's wrong with--" "Haven't you heard? Haven't you seen the papers?" asked Botts. "The Physicists' Association has just revealed that Weber misinterpreted.