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D'Journal, v. 1, issue 1, January 1939

Page 14

(---continued)
This time, remembering the accident of the first day, the President first put his hand down on the table and felt for heads. Finding none he brought the gavel down -- right on his hand! Time out was taken while the president informed the delegates of his feelings. So hot grew his words that the Ackerman Fire Dept. was called out to wet down the smoking rafters. When order had again been restored, the Missionary reports were asked for. Five minutes were spent in trying to get Missionary Gadzook to his feet. He reported the missionary work of converting heathen Saturnites into respectable Science Fiction Leaguers was progressing fine. He said that last month, he alone converted 4, and of the 4 only 3 later deserted. When asked what became of the 4th, he said the poor wretch died of fright upon viewing some of the officers of the League for the first time. Somebody made a motion that the above mentioned officers be given medals, but same was lost amid boos.
Next missionary Ka Plump reported that his work on Pluto was going fine, altho "he could [could underlined] use a little more money". (Applause here). He said that he lost only two converts out of the last hundred. When asked how he lost them, he answered that they had refused to kick in to him with a weekly tribute and that they had lost their heads. A medal of honor was given brother Ka Plump.
As this ended the missionary reports, time out was taken for lunch. Remembering the skinning they had received before, the delegates shunned the Cafe and went down the street to the "Ye Olde Coffee Potee Inne" - F.J. Ackermanee, Propee. One of the Skindoo elephants tried to get in also and was stuck in the door, penning the delegates inside for nearly two hours, untill the Ackerman Derrick Co, came to the rescue.
Once more back in Ackerman Hall for the closing session, the boys sat in silence, waiting for the President. He arose and begin.
"Gentlemen, (somebody snickered), this years convention has been a most profitable one. I have here a bill for $850.12, which I shall send to H.Q. and let Charles Hornig the IX worry about. This covers all damages you boys have done here. I hope you all have had as fine a time as I have had, and I want to see you all out to next years convention, which will be held in Ackermanville, N.C. In closing, let me say that next years password will be 'fugwump' and that the last train leaves tonight at 9:30. Don't miss it!
Applesauce, I mean appluase was rendered. True to his word, Engineer Ackerman pulled the Ackermanville Flyer out of town that night at nine thirty with one delegate aboard. Nobody seems to know how that one got aboard, but someone suggested that he might have wandered there while sober. * * * * Reports have since reached H.Q. that it took the Ackerman Special Police two full months to round up the last delegate and send him home. This last was finally found playing Tarzan at the Ackerman Zoo. Somebody else left his pet elephant, and as the freight bill to Skindoo is TOO high, the ponderous pachyderm is still wandering about Ackermanville, eating Ackerman grass. (END)
[dividing line of hyphens]
IF YOU LIKED the above report of the 196th Convention, dont miss our next issue, dated April First, 1939. It will carry a complete report of the minutes of the 1939 World Fair,World Science Fiction Convention to be held in NYC next summer. We obtained these minutes via our Time Traveller. Take a copy of this D'JOURNAL to the Convention with you, and you will know of everything that happens before it happens, for April D'JOURNAL carries reports in detail. This issue out in February.
[dividing line of hyphens]
WHO CARES WHERE YOU WILL BE IN 1939 !

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(---continued) This time, remembering the accident of the first day, the President first put his hand down on the table and felt for heads. Finding none he brought the gavel down -- right on his hand! Time out was taken while the president informed the delegates of his feelings. So hot grew his words that the Ackerman Fire Dept. was called out to wet down the smoking rafters. When order had again been restored, the Missionary reports were asked for. Five minutes were spent in trying to get Missionary Gadzook to his feet. He reported the missionary work of converting heathen Saturnites into respectable Science Fiction Leaguers was progressing fine. He said that last month, he alone converted 4, and of the 4 only 3 later deserted. When asked what became of the 4th, he said the poor wretch died of fright upon viewing some of the officers of the League for the first time. Somebody made a motion that the above mentioned officers be given medals, but same was lost amid boos. Next missionary Ka Plump reported that his work on Pluto was going fine, altho "he could [could underlined] use a little more money". (Applause here). He said that he lost only two converts out of the last hundred. When asked how he lost them, he answered that they had refused to kick in to him with a weekly tribute and that they had lost their heads. A medal of honor was given brother Ka Plump. As this ended the missionary reports, time out was taken for lunch. Remembering the skinning they had received before, the delegates shunned the Cafe and went down the street to the "Ye Olde Coffee Potee Inne" - F.J. Ackermanee, Propee. One of the Skindoo elephants tried to get in also and was stuck in the door, penning the delegates inside for nearly two hours, untill the Ackerman Derrick Co, came to the rescue. Once more back in Ackerman Hall for the closing session, the boys sat in silence, waiting for the President. He arose and begin. "Gentlemen, (somebody snickered), this years convention has been a most profitable one. I have here a bill for $850.12, which I shall send to H.Q. and let Charles Hornig the IX worry about. This covers all damages you boys have done here. I hope you all have had as fine a time as I have had, and I want to see you all out to next years convention, which will be held in Ackermanville, N.C. In closing, let me say that next years password will be 'fugwump' and that the last train leaves tonight at 9:30. Don't miss it! Applesauce, I mean appluase was rendered. True to his word, Engineer Ackerman pulled the Ackermanville Flyer out of town that night at nine thirty with one delegate aboard. Nobody seems to know how that one got aboard, but someone suggested that he might have wandered there while sober. * * * * Reports have since reached H.Q. that it took the Ackerman Special Police two full months to round up the last delegate and send him home. This last was finally found playing Tarzan at the Ackerman Zoo. Somebody else left his pet elephant, and as the freight bill to Skindoo is TOO high, the ponderous pachyderm is still wandering about Ackermanville, eating Ackerman grass. (END) [dividing line of hyphens] IF YOU LIKED the above report of the 196th Convention, dont miss our next issue, dated April First, 1939. It will carry a complete report of the minutes of the 1939 World Fair,World Science Fiction Convention to be held in NYC next summer. We obtained these minutes via our Time Traveller. Take a copy of this D'JOURNAL to the Convention with you, and you will know of everything that happens before it happens, for April D'JOURNAL carries reports in detail. This issue out in February. [dividing line of hyphens] WHO CARES WHERE YOU WILL BE IN 1939 !