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Funtasy, v. 1, issue 1, Spring 1939
Page 3
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FUNTASY Page 3 FANDOM BUILDS A SPACE-SHIP By Chief Rocket Tube, HOY PING PONG EPISODE ONE "The Flight of the Busta Guttery" --- Aha! That glorious Convention day in New York City, in the summer of 1939, when fandom decided to build a spaceship! It is etched in my memory forever, that fateful day, when the gentlemen from Denver arose and addressed the assembled multitude, munching popcorn, peanuts -- (the delegates, not the Denver gentlemen)...... A deathly silence when the gentlemen opened his mouth to speak! Then those wonderful words tumbled forth!: "Mr. Chairman, brother delegates; my message before you today is a most delicate one! Fellow fans, I want to ask you a question. A very intimate question! A question I want you to think over twice before answering, and then when you answer, be very conservative! The question is this: How many space-ships are there in the world today?" AH! The bombastic silence that followed that simple question! The huge crowd was stunned! Why-...why...'er... well, for gosh sakes!... there wasn't ONE single spaceship in the world. Horribly that stupendous fact exploded upon their numbed brains! Gadzooks! NOT A SINGLE SPACE-SHIP! Never until now did that seeming simple question occur to them! Why, just supposing a comet came suddenly... They would all be trapped on Earth! The terrible silence answered the Denver delegate's question! "Just as I thought!" the gentleman cried, "my worst fears are confirmed: Mr. Chairman, brother delegates, there is not a single spaceship in all the world today! Not one ship to save us from some sudden cosmic calamity! Not one ship to whir us off to the moon in search for the baccy-weed to stay a great plague! Not one ship to whisk us to Mars for colonization and control of the zippa-fruit! Gentlemen! Let your alleged minds dwell upon that dynamic fact!" Silence for a few seconds, and the sounds of alleged minds dwelling on the dynamic fact rent the air. The gentleman sat down. Up popped a gentleman from Philadelphia. "Mr. Chairman! I demand the floor!" "You can't have it," asserted the chairman, who was also a delegate from Newark. "We have to have something to stand on!" "No, no, Mr. Chairman. I mean I want to speak." "Well, nobody's got any ropes tied to your tongue, have they?" The Philly delegate favored the Newark gentleman with a sweet smile, and turned to the crowd: "Brothers --- (hisses from the New York delegates at this point) --- I propose a startling thing! Let us rescue ourselves from some future calamity! Let us not wait idle by for a comet to come and stir General Electric into building a spaceship! Gentlemen: LET US, THIS NEW FANDOM CONVENTION, BUILD A SPACESHIP!!!!" Amid a thundering ovation of deep silence he sat down. (turn page, svp.)
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FUNTASY Page 3 FANDOM BUILDS A SPACE-SHIP By Chief Rocket Tube, HOY PING PONG EPISODE ONE "The Flight of the Busta Guttery" --- Aha! That glorious Convention day in New York City, in the summer of 1939, when fandom decided to build a spaceship! It is etched in my memory forever, that fateful day, when the gentlemen from Denver arose and addressed the assembled multitude, munching popcorn, peanuts -- (the delegates, not the Denver gentlemen)...... A deathly silence when the gentlemen opened his mouth to speak! Then those wonderful words tumbled forth!: "Mr. Chairman, brother delegates; my message before you today is a most delicate one! Fellow fans, I want to ask you a question. A very intimate question! A question I want you to think over twice before answering, and then when you answer, be very conservative! The question is this: How many space-ships are there in the world today?" AH! The bombastic silence that followed that simple question! The huge crowd was stunned! Why-...why...'er... well, for gosh sakes!... there wasn't ONE single spaceship in the world. Horribly that stupendous fact exploded upon their numbed brains! Gadzooks! NOT A SINGLE SPACE-SHIP! Never until now did that seeming simple question occur to them! Why, just supposing a comet came suddenly... They would all be trapped on Earth! The terrible silence answered the Denver delegate's question! "Just as I thought!" the gentleman cried, "my worst fears are confirmed: Mr. Chairman, brother delegates, there is not a single spaceship in all the world today! Not one ship to save us from some sudden cosmic calamity! Not one ship to whir us off to the moon in search for the baccy-weed to stay a great plague! Not one ship to whisk us to Mars for colonization and control of the zippa-fruit! Gentlemen! Let your alleged minds dwell upon that dynamic fact!" Silence for a few seconds, and the sounds of alleged minds dwelling on the dynamic fact rent the air. The gentleman sat down. Up popped a gentleman from Philadelphia. "Mr. Chairman! I demand the floor!" "You can't have it," asserted the chairman, who was also a delegate from Newark. "We have to have something to stand on!" "No, no, Mr. Chairman. I mean I want to speak." "Well, nobody's got any ropes tied to your tongue, have they?" The Philly delegate favored the Newark gentleman with a sweet smile, and turned to the crowd: "Brothers --- (hisses from the New York delegates at this point) --- I propose a startling thing! Let us rescue ourselves from some future calamity! Let us not wait idle by for a comet to come and stir General Electric into building a spaceship! Gentlemen: LET US, THIS NEW FANDOM CONVENTION, BUILD A SPACESHIP!!!!" Amid a thundering ovation of deep silence he sat down. (turn page, svp.)
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