Transcribe
Translate
Le Zombie, v. 5, issue 1, whole no. 48, July-August 1942
Page 3
More information
digital collection
archival collection guide
transcription tips
3 LEZ DONE - TOOK A POLL but not Freddy--Peri held on! Every so often someone passes out free postcards for people to write answers on. Answers to simple questions. Like: What is your age and occupation? That's what we did last issue. And what did we get? Well, just about everything but what we wanted. Oh, to be sure, most of the dear readers who did answer included the requested information somewhere on the card---as an afterthought. A mere gesture of appeasement, so to speak, for the sap who spent the penny on them. Something to keep him from complaining too loudly while you (the reader) used the card for whatever suited your fancy. Including the drawing of pictures. What is there in people that brings out the humorist in them when someone hands them a postcard and asks for two simple answers? Must they pour into bored ears all the immaterial information they can possibly crowd onto the card? Must they cry on the editor's shoulder (at his expense--1¢ per cry) and dribble on about: family secrets, booze recipes, employment troubles, gripes and groans on the latest issue, preferences as to the color of feminine wigs, salary complaints, future ambitions, requests for back issues, words of endearment, poison pen notes, gambling information of "inside" nature, and blatant advertising? Well? Must they draw pictures(?) of feminine articles of clothing for us to blush over? Must they go coy on us and confidentially reveal that their occupation is "O filler"? Must they exhibit their humorist-tendencies by giving their age as follows: "Financially, I have never been born. Physically, I feel eighty--and don't look a day over ninety. Chronologically I am twenty-four. Spiritually, I am immortal. Mentally, about three and a half." (unquote) You're telling us? We ask two simple questions. And get dozens of idiotic answers. Like this: "You know what I do for a living and you'd better be loyal to Coca-Cola or I'll cut your your ear from throat to there." And this: "Formerly made money in spare time by sabotaging defense industries at night, but work has been slack since Hitler invaded Russia." And then there were cautious persons who thot I was turning the information over to the Gestapo, and simply answered: "work in defense industry." Quaint, isn't it? Not a word as to whether they were filing clerk or test pilot. And there was the capitalist who answered: "banking." Is he office boy or president of the First National & Trust? Thanks to his shyness, we'll never know. Oh, the burden on editorial shoulders! But however cool our heart must be towards these would-be Joe Millers, we have reserved a special frozen corner for those unspeakables who saw fit to ignore our fervid plea, and kept the postcard. We can overlook those who answered by letter and returned the card un-used, we can even smile at the punk who did that exact thing--and then wrote on the back of it so we couldn't use it again. But those ornery souls who kept the postals for themselves and neglected to answer in any fashion --- well, they were warned! As you can see by the results on the next page, only [illegible] -some answers were returned. We're sorry, but those who didn't return them will not get cards in future polls. We don't consider that harsh. Why should we spend a dollar or two on people who aren't interested? Meanwhile, plans are shaping on the next quiz. Next time we shall ask many more questions so as to make more use of the postal. You are invited to submit questions to be asked. We have these in mind: what is your average weekly mail (income and outgo)? How many fanzines do you subscribe to? How many have you contributed to? Do you answer polls?
Saving...
prev
next
3 LEZ DONE - TOOK A POLL but not Freddy--Peri held on! Every so often someone passes out free postcards for people to write answers on. Answers to simple questions. Like: What is your age and occupation? That's what we did last issue. And what did we get? Well, just about everything but what we wanted. Oh, to be sure, most of the dear readers who did answer included the requested information somewhere on the card---as an afterthought. A mere gesture of appeasement, so to speak, for the sap who spent the penny on them. Something to keep him from complaining too loudly while you (the reader) used the card for whatever suited your fancy. Including the drawing of pictures. What is there in people that brings out the humorist in them when someone hands them a postcard and asks for two simple answers? Must they pour into bored ears all the immaterial information they can possibly crowd onto the card? Must they cry on the editor's shoulder (at his expense--1¢ per cry) and dribble on about: family secrets, booze recipes, employment troubles, gripes and groans on the latest issue, preferences as to the color of feminine wigs, salary complaints, future ambitions, requests for back issues, words of endearment, poison pen notes, gambling information of "inside" nature, and blatant advertising? Well? Must they draw pictures(?) of feminine articles of clothing for us to blush over? Must they go coy on us and confidentially reveal that their occupation is "O filler"? Must they exhibit their humorist-tendencies by giving their age as follows: "Financially, I have never been born. Physically, I feel eighty--and don't look a day over ninety. Chronologically I am twenty-four. Spiritually, I am immortal. Mentally, about three and a half." (unquote) You're telling us? We ask two simple questions. And get dozens of idiotic answers. Like this: "You know what I do for a living and you'd better be loyal to Coca-Cola or I'll cut your your ear from throat to there." And this: "Formerly made money in spare time by sabotaging defense industries at night, but work has been slack since Hitler invaded Russia." And then there were cautious persons who thot I was turning the information over to the Gestapo, and simply answered: "work in defense industry." Quaint, isn't it? Not a word as to whether they were filing clerk or test pilot. And there was the capitalist who answered: "banking." Is he office boy or president of the First National & Trust? Thanks to his shyness, we'll never know. Oh, the burden on editorial shoulders! But however cool our heart must be towards these would-be Joe Millers, we have reserved a special frozen corner for those unspeakables who saw fit to ignore our fervid plea, and kept the postcard. We can overlook those who answered by letter and returned the card un-used, we can even smile at the punk who did that exact thing--and then wrote on the back of it so we couldn't use it again. But those ornery souls who kept the postals for themselves and neglected to answer in any fashion --- well, they were warned! As you can see by the results on the next page, only [illegible] -some answers were returned. We're sorry, but those who didn't return them will not get cards in future polls. We don't consider that harsh. Why should we spend a dollar or two on people who aren't interested? Meanwhile, plans are shaping on the next quiz. Next time we shall ask many more questions so as to make more use of the postal. You are invited to submit questions to be asked. We have these in mind: what is your average weekly mail (income and outgo)? How many fanzines do you subscribe to? How many have you contributed to? Do you answer polls?
Hevelin Fanzines
sidebar
