DIY History | Transcribe | Hevelin Fanzines | Le Zombie, v. 5, issue 1, whole no. 48, July-August 1942

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Le Zombie, v. 5, issue 1, whole no. 48, July-August 1942

Page 11

LEZ LETTERS

in which we get our face pushed in ... but neatly.

Mr Andrew Pong, Dear Sir:

Front cover: Whole we find this the best portrait of yourself that has yet to come to our attention, we find it's effect as a whole very depressing. We therefore give it a rating of "0" by the Warner system.

Poem: As this is obviously a plagiarism of the well-known Invictus, we hastily also rate this with a "0".

Editorialies: Certainly are. Besides, an editor so low as to begin his editorial with an apology and then pad it out with tripe deserves nothing but an "0".

LeZ Takes a Poll: As this is either childish twaddle, or a Con Game in disguise, we rate it "0".

Lez-ettes: This alleged humor is notably unfunny and rapidly grows unfunnier. It receives a large "0".

The Fan Mirror: It is badly tarnished and the large blank space in the upper right hand corner adds nothing. Another "0".

Math Dept: Carries the seed of its own downfall. It equates itself to 0.

War Dept: Because the Government of the United States boasts a War Dept is no reason why LeZ should make pretense to equal greatness. An "0".

Amateur Press Digest: This undigested mess reveals the reviewer for the amateur he doubtless is, and gives him an "0".

LeZ Letters: The mouthings of this astoundingly large group of morons cries aloud for another "0".

Asserted Services: A capable undertaker should be hired to do the honors on this page. It gets an "0",

Adding up the above ratings, we find the magazine as a whole rates "0".

As we naturally want nothing to do with so low-rating a publication, you may cancel our subscriptions forthwith and return our lifetime subs. May we also suggest that if you wish to enjoy a fanzine which possesses everything this one lacks, it would be to your interest to subscribe to a quality magazine -- Space Tales."

Helpfully yours, 
Al Ashley, Jack Wiedenbeck, E.E. Evans.

Lez Sez: The editors are pleased at all times to  receive encouraging, critical letters from our younger readers. We have taken your various suggestions up with our department chiefs and no doubt many will be acted upon when our Board of Advisors meets next year.

Meanwhile we suggest you contact your schoolmates with the aim in view of organizing a chapter of the Junior Scienceers in your town. We will be glad to charter such a group, providing, of course, that you fulfil the requirements: you must be at least ten years old, must have attained the 4th grade in grammar school and hold a subscription to Le Zombie.

Aiden H. Norton: (Jan. 15th) "Thanks for the good issue of Le Zombie. I found it very entertaining throughout."

 (February 15th) "Thanks for the good issue of Le Zombie. I found it very entertaining throughout."

 (March 15th) "Thanks for the good issue of Le Zombie. I found it very entertaining throughout."

 (June 15th) "Thanks for the good issue of Le Zombie. I found it very entertaining throughout."

Saving...

LEZ LETTERS in which we get our face pushed in ... but neatly. Mr Andrew Pong, Dear Sir: Front cover: Whole we find this the best portrait of yourself that has yet to come to our attention, we find it's effect as a whole very depressing. We therefore give it a rating of "0" by the Warner system. Poem: As this is obviously a plagiarism of the well-known Invictus, we hastily also rate this with a "0". Editorialies: Certainly are. Besides, an editor so low as to begin his editorial with an apology and then pad it out with tripe deserves nothing but an "0". LeZ Takes a Poll: As this is either childish twaddle, or a Con Game in disguise, we rate it "0". Lez-ettes: This alleged humor is notably unfunny and rapidly grows unfunnier. It receives a large "0". The Fan Mirror: It is badly tarnished and the large blank space in the upper right hand corner adds nothing. Another "0". Math Dept: Carries the seed of its own downfall. It equates itself to 0. War Dept: Because the Government of the United States boasts a War Dept is no reason why LeZ should make pretense to equal greatness. An "0". Amateur Press Digest: This undigested mess reveals the reviewer for the amateur he doubtless is, and gives him an "0". LeZ Letters: The mouthings of this astoundingly large group of morons cries aloud for another "0". Asserted Services: A capable undertaker should be hired to do the honors on this page. It gets an "0", Adding up the above ratings, we find the magazine as a whole rates "0". As we naturally want nothing to do with so low-rating a publication, you may cancel our subscriptions forthwith and return our lifetime subs. May we also suggest that if you wish to enjoy a fanzine which possesses everything this one lacks, it would be to your interest to subscribe to a quality magazine -- Space Tales." Helpfully yours, Al Ashley, Jack Wiedenbeck, E.E. Evans. Lez Sez: The editors are pleased at all times to receive encouraging, critical letters from our younger readers. We have taken your various suggestions up with our department chiefs and no doubt many will be acted upon when our Board of Advisors meets next year. Meanwhile we suggest you contact your schoolmates with the aim in view of organizing a chapter of the Junior Scienceers in your town. We will be glad to charter such a group, providing, of course, that you fulfil the requirements: you must be at least ten years old, must have attained the 4th grade in grammar school and hold a subscription to Le Zombie. Aiden H. Norton: (Jan. 15th) "Thanks for the good issue of Le Zombie. I found it very entertaining throughout." (February 15th) "Thanks for the good issue of Le Zombie. I found it very entertaining throughout." (March 15th) "Thanks for the good issue of Le Zombie. I found it very entertaining throughout." (June 15th) "Thanks for the good issue of Le Zombie. I found it very entertaining throughout."