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Chanticleer, v. 1, issue 3, December 1945
Page 5
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-o- TITLING -o- Finding a suitable nomenclature for your book will be quite a problem. The title of your novel should be short, snappy, astutely eye-catching; a combination of words that will stick in the memory of the public. Getting back to "East Lynne" and it's sister novels, we discover that all the directions except North have been used. You could call your novel "North Ploa", but somehow that title leaves me cold. Nor will titles with oblique directions, such as "Southwest Suzie", or"Northeast Murgatroid", captivate your readers imagination.Therefore we have no alternative but to think up original titles, such as "The Life and Loves of Gertrude Gastrophy", or"The Loves and Life of Bertha, the Huckstress". Then, there has been a marked trend toward the reiterative title, i.e. "I Love You, I Love You, I Love You". You could make your central, tear-drawing character a drunkard and entitle your saga "Hiccup, Hiccup, Hiccup, or Traveling Through Life With a Beer and a Burp", but inebriates are frowned upon by cocktail-filled sophisticates, the type that will purchase your book. By now you should readily see what an imbroglio we've got ourselves in to. This is exactly what will happen to you when you attempt to title your novel. As a last resort you can name your book Earl, Queen, King or Duchess. These are titles that have withstood the test of time. -o- PLOTTING -o- All stories of this type must have a strong, well developed plot. It is most imperative to have your outlined plot before you at all times, thereby avoiding the possibility of ramifications or deviations. There follows a perfect example of a plot outline: 1. Joy Bernetha Bushes, working as a chamber maid at Belly Acres, palatial estate of Ivan Van Divan, scion of the flying Red Horse, becomes embroiled in the following complications: a. Drops a whipped cream truffle down Lady Bustleburp's back, almost loses her job. b. Gets her ear caught in a wringer, while trying to read laundry marks, almost loses her job. c. While under the influence of her first mint julep, calls the cook a pismire, whereupon she gets one big smack in the puss, almost loses her job. d. Shoots crap with the chauffeur, almost loses her. 2. Bernetha's charm captivates the eyes of Tane Van Divan, the scion's son. a. Tane chases Bernetha. b. Bernetha runs. c. Tane increases his pace. d. Bernetha runs faster. e. Tane is cathing up with Bernetha. f. Optional. 3. Bernetha and Tane git hitched. a. Can a little girl, raised in poverty, live in Podunk? b. Tane's wealthy friends snub Bernetha, Bernetha revolts and sticks out her tongue at the Grand Duke of Fouturia. c. The Grand Duke gets real wrathful, but the Duchess guys Bernetha a diamond tiara. d. Whatinell's a diamond tiara? -o-0-o-
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-o- TITLING -o- Finding a suitable nomenclature for your book will be quite a problem. The title of your novel should be short, snappy, astutely eye-catching; a combination of words that will stick in the memory of the public. Getting back to "East Lynne" and it's sister novels, we discover that all the directions except North have been used. You could call your novel "North Ploa", but somehow that title leaves me cold. Nor will titles with oblique directions, such as "Southwest Suzie", or"Northeast Murgatroid", captivate your readers imagination.Therefore we have no alternative but to think up original titles, such as "The Life and Loves of Gertrude Gastrophy", or"The Loves and Life of Bertha, the Huckstress". Then, there has been a marked trend toward the reiterative title, i.e. "I Love You, I Love You, I Love You". You could make your central, tear-drawing character a drunkard and entitle your saga "Hiccup, Hiccup, Hiccup, or Traveling Through Life With a Beer and a Burp", but inebriates are frowned upon by cocktail-filled sophisticates, the type that will purchase your book. By now you should readily see what an imbroglio we've got ourselves in to. This is exactly what will happen to you when you attempt to title your novel. As a last resort you can name your book Earl, Queen, King or Duchess. These are titles that have withstood the test of time. -o- PLOTTING -o- All stories of this type must have a strong, well developed plot. It is most imperative to have your outlined plot before you at all times, thereby avoiding the possibility of ramifications or deviations. There follows a perfect example of a plot outline: 1. Joy Bernetha Bushes, working as a chamber maid at Belly Acres, palatial estate of Ivan Van Divan, scion of the flying Red Horse, becomes embroiled in the following complications: a. Drops a whipped cream truffle down Lady Bustleburp's back, almost loses her job. b. Gets her ear caught in a wringer, while trying to read laundry marks, almost loses her job. c. While under the influence of her first mint julep, calls the cook a pismire, whereupon she gets one big smack in the puss, almost loses her job. d. Shoots crap with the chauffeur, almost loses her. 2. Bernetha's charm captivates the eyes of Tane Van Divan, the scion's son. a. Tane chases Bernetha. b. Bernetha runs. c. Tane increases his pace. d. Bernetha runs faster. e. Tane is cathing up with Bernetha. f. Optional. 3. Bernetha and Tane git hitched. a. Can a little girl, raised in poverty, live in Podunk? b. Tane's wealthy friends snub Bernetha, Bernetha revolts and sticks out her tongue at the Grand Duke of Fouturia. c. The Grand Duke gets real wrathful, but the Duchess guys Bernetha a diamond tiara. d. Whatinell's a diamond tiara? -o-0-o-
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