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Tess Catalano "Take Back the Night" and other academic essays, 1982
1982-12-10 Ms. Shephard Page 8
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She said: "You really looked horrible today, so I thought you'd like to get off campus and into the real world, as it were." More idle talk. I wasn't brave enough to ask the question I really wanted to ask. At precisely nine-thirty she stood up and announced that she had work to do and was sure I did too, so she was ready to take me back to the jungle, so to speak. I thought it was an incredibly short visit but I wasn't about to complain. We got back into her Scirocco and made the quick six-minute trip back to the dorm. I got out of the car, leaned through the door and she said quite sincerely "Thanks a lot, I really needed this, It was nice." It was probably the most personal thing I had ever said to her. A strange look flashed across her face. A hard, scared look. She said, "Yes, Good night." and drove off almost before I could shut the door. As I walked into the dormitory, I suddenly felt like I had lost something. Something I might have tried to win. When I got to my room, Julie was waiting for me. "Well? Tell me about it. What was it like. Whadja talk about?" Usually I was more than eager to tell Julie about the various up's and down's of my friendship with Ms. Shepard, but tonight, something was different. "It was nice. I don't know. It was fun - we talked. That was about it. " Julie looked like I had betrayed her. "So to speak, in the popular sense of the word, as it were?" Julie really didn't like Ms. Shepard. "Come on, Julie, I don't want to talk about it, okay?" "Okay." She let it drop. We sat out in the hallway talking about other things when the phone rang. Julie got up to answer it. When she came back she announced: "It's Miss Popular-Sense-Of-The-Word for you. Boy, twice in one night. She must like you a lot. I'll bet she's got your number memorized." This time as I walked to the phone I was scared. "Hello?" There was a long pause. Ms. Shepard said in a tight nervous voice, "This is Ms. Shepard. I don't want you to think anything about this evening. It was just a study break." I was confused. "Yeah, sure" I said. There was another pause.
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She said: "You really looked horrible today, so I thought you'd like to get off campus and into the real world, as it were." More idle talk. I wasn't brave enough to ask the question I really wanted to ask. At precisely nine-thirty she stood up and announced that she had work to do and was sure I did too, so she was ready to take me back to the jungle, so to speak. I thought it was an incredibly short visit but I wasn't about to complain. We got back into her Scirocco and made the quick six-minute trip back to the dorm. I got out of the car, leaned through the door and she said quite sincerely "Thanks a lot, I really needed this, It was nice." It was probably the most personal thing I had ever said to her. A strange look flashed across her face. A hard, scared look. She said, "Yes, Good night." and drove off almost before I could shut the door. As I walked into the dormitory, I suddenly felt like I had lost something. Something I might have tried to win. When I got to my room, Julie was waiting for me. "Well? Tell me about it. What was it like. Whadja talk about?" Usually I was more than eager to tell Julie about the various up's and down's of my friendship with Ms. Shepard, but tonight, something was different. "It was nice. I don't know. It was fun - we talked. That was about it. " Julie looked like I had betrayed her. "So to speak, in the popular sense of the word, as it were?" Julie really didn't like Ms. Shepard. "Come on, Julie, I don't want to talk about it, okay?" "Okay." She let it drop. We sat out in the hallway talking about other things when the phone rang. Julie got up to answer it. When she came back she announced: "It's Miss Popular-Sense-Of-The-Word for you. Boy, twice in one night. She must like you a lot. I'll bet she's got your number memorized." This time as I walked to the phone I was scared. "Hello?" There was a long pause. Ms. Shepard said in a tight nervous voice, "This is Ms. Shepard. I don't want you to think anything about this evening. It was just a study break." I was confused. "Yeah, sure" I said. There was another pause.
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