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Tess Catalano "Take Back the Night" and other academic essays, 1982
1982-12-10 Ms. Shephard Page 10
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[handwritten] By tracing a course between first and final impressions of Ms. Shepherd, you block out territory for consideration. For the most part, the kind of consideration given makes this piece more like a story than an essay. It's "about" Ms. Shepherd, but also, of course, about you and your relationship with Ms. S. At the beginning you let us see you as a freshman, a person whose language ("dumb topics") and whose mixture of complacency and nervousness are engagingly descriptive of a young college student. Ms. Shepherd is also well characterized. Certainly the "Weird phrases" are both humorous and, eventually, telling in ironic ways. I do think you overuse them to the point of numbing us to their occasionally very effective recurrence. Of course you leave implicit the interpretation to be made of Ms. S.'s behavior. But you present yourself as both knowing and naive; it seems you ought to understand either less or much more about Ms. S. and about the situation which develops between you. If you are undiscerning, then your "contempt" may seem immature or inconsiderate - and if we're meant to see it that way, then we probably need more guidance from the older-and-wiser persona. The perspective expected in an essay is hard to find here, though it most likely comes form the counter pointing of spontaneity & retentiveness as theories of writing.
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[handwritten] By tracing a course between first and final impressions of Ms. Shepherd, you block out territory for consideration. For the most part, the kind of consideration given makes this piece more like a story than an essay. It's "about" Ms. Shepherd, but also, of course, about you and your relationship with Ms. S. At the beginning you let us see you as a freshman, a person whose language ("dumb topics") and whose mixture of complacency and nervousness are engagingly descriptive of a young college student. Ms. Shepherd is also well characterized. Certainly the "Weird phrases" are both humorous and, eventually, telling in ironic ways. I do think you overuse them to the point of numbing us to their occasionally very effective recurrence. Of course you leave implicit the interpretation to be made of Ms. S.'s behavior. But you present yourself as both knowing and naive; it seems you ought to understand either less or much more about Ms. S. and about the situation which develops between you. If you are undiscerning, then your "contempt" may seem immature or inconsiderate - and if we're meant to see it that way, then we probably need more guidance from the older-and-wiser persona. The perspective expected in an essay is hard to find here, though it most likely comes form the counter pointing of spontaneity & retentiveness as theories of writing.
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