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Tess Catalano "Take Back the Night" and other academic essays, 1982
1982-09-15 Catalano #5
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Catalano Assign. #5 15 Sept 82 Commentary The object is to guess which one is the first part of the assignment. I0 is supposed to be the one about bruises. But something is missing. Perhaps focus, more detail of the changes in her face. I'm not very satisfied with it all all, but don't care to work on it again till Ican get some criticism. The second peice, on smoking, I think is better. I'm certainly happier with it. Although at spots I think it is inconsistent. When Ifinsihed it, the first thing I wanted to do was re-write it with all the long sentaces into very short sentances. I would better transmit the urgency of my friend, yet ultimately I kept the longer sentances to add that extra egde. Differences in spacial to temporal. Especially felt in the first part. When thinking about the assigment I considiered suspense, but that seemed to easy. (Ultimately the question is what creates the audiences interest??) I tried to get away from "then's" and "next's" and "now's" more so Ithink in the second one because I let the action carry the time. The first one really has no action... Tess [Line drawn from second paragraph to hand-written comment:] It's interesting that you realize this point. I think the long sentences are appropriate to the apparently steady attention you are giving to the motions described, and also to the reflective, associative, generalizing character of the piece - but of course the longer units create problems of coherent inner structure. [Line from paragraphs around last sentence to hand-written comment:] I see what you mean, and that's why the reader, guessing that your purpose is to document the persistence of inner pain rather than to explain "what happened," [strike out]the reader[/strike out] may feel you are being either too objective (we don't really learn how the woman felt about her husband's act) or not objective enough (are facial bruises particularly damaging psychologically? do they usually correlate with greater legal remedies?).
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Catalano Assign. #5 15 Sept 82 Commentary The object is to guess which one is the first part of the assignment. I0 is supposed to be the one about bruises. But something is missing. Perhaps focus, more detail of the changes in her face. I'm not very satisfied with it all all, but don't care to work on it again till Ican get some criticism. The second peice, on smoking, I think is better. I'm certainly happier with it. Although at spots I think it is inconsistent. When Ifinsihed it, the first thing I wanted to do was re-write it with all the long sentaces into very short sentances. I would better transmit the urgency of my friend, yet ultimately I kept the longer sentances to add that extra egde. Differences in spacial to temporal. Especially felt in the first part. When thinking about the assigment I considiered suspense, but that seemed to easy. (Ultimately the question is what creates the audiences interest??) I tried to get away from "then's" and "next's" and "now's" more so Ithink in the second one because I let the action carry the time. The first one really has no action... Tess [Line drawn from second paragraph to hand-written comment:] It's interesting that you realize this point. I think the long sentences are appropriate to the apparently steady attention you are giving to the motions described, and also to the reflective, associative, generalizing character of the piece - but of course the longer units create problems of coherent inner structure. [Line from paragraphs around last sentence to hand-written comment:] I see what you mean, and that's why the reader, guessing that your purpose is to document the persistence of inner pain rather than to explain "what happened," [strike out]the reader[/strike out] may feel you are being either too objective (we don't really learn how the woman felt about her husband's act) or not objective enough (are facial bruises particularly damaging psychologically? do they usually correlate with greater legal remedies?).
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