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Futuria Fantasia, Winter 1940
Page 13
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13 THE BEST WAYS TO GET AROUND I don't mean socially; I mean off the Earth and between the planets. There are a few really good ways, as invented by perspiring authors in science-fiction magazines. And if I miss any, which is extremely doubtful, remember that I'm writing from memory, that I haven't read all the scientifiction magazines from 1926 and on, and that I am not going to go researching through the tremendous stacks of old scientifiction magazines that I now have in my possession. Now, what DO I mean by THE BEST WAY TO GET AROUND? Briefly, by the word BEST, I mean so pseudo-logical that you could almost leave off the "pseudo". See? (No) For instance, Jack Williamson's geodesic machinery, wherein he warps space around, appeals to me as being pure fairy tale stuff. He just gives a lot of verbal hocus-pocus, and runs off reams of literary fertilizer until we throw up our hands in disgust and say; "O.K., O.K., Jack, to hell with that, let's get on with the 'story'. We'll grant you that you can get around." -- And we're willing to grant E.E. Smith the same privilege. He DOES get around -- anybody disagree? The question is: how? Oh, by using "X", and the inertialess drive. The same with brother Burroughs. What do we care if dear old John Carter "yearns" himself to Mars? He gets there, and we are happy, or were happy. So, we exclude all those from THE BEST WAYS TO GET AROUND. They are very nice and convenient to get people places; but, when we run across one of the "BEST WAYS" we often wonder if it REALLY COULDN'T be possible, provided -- . Of course, that word "provided" is the catch -- the reason why we really aren't going around that way. Again -- So 'Way back there, Edmond Hamilton, and a hundred others, have used the idea of light-pressure in an attempt to get away from rockets. But he didn't tell us how, scientifictionaly. In direct contrast to vague statements made regarding the use of light-pressure as propulsion, I remember the MOON CONQUERS, by R.H. Romans, in a 1931 (I think) (You're right, 4SJ) quarterly. You've seen radiometers. The things with black and white vanes placed in a vacuum. The theory is that the opposite shades cause unbalanced light pressure, so that the vanes go around and around. Romans invented a pseudo-scientifically logical way to use light-pressure, once he got his ship in space. His scientist invented a compound of absolute black. (Which is also obtainable in a darkroom.) A small square of darkroom -- or, I mean, absolute black painted on the posterior of the ship, and regulated at will, gave the same sono quite respectable speeds. Certainly it won't work outside of a story -- but, I'm talking scientifictionally. Romans used his imagination, and we all had fun.
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13 THE BEST WAYS TO GET AROUND I don't mean socially; I mean off the Earth and between the planets. There are a few really good ways, as invented by perspiring authors in science-fiction magazines. And if I miss any, which is extremely doubtful, remember that I'm writing from memory, that I haven't read all the scientifiction magazines from 1926 and on, and that I am not going to go researching through the tremendous stacks of old scientifiction magazines that I now have in my possession. Now, what DO I mean by THE BEST WAY TO GET AROUND? Briefly, by the word BEST, I mean so pseudo-logical that you could almost leave off the "pseudo". See? (No) For instance, Jack Williamson's geodesic machinery, wherein he warps space around, appeals to me as being pure fairy tale stuff. He just gives a lot of verbal hocus-pocus, and runs off reams of literary fertilizer until we throw up our hands in disgust and say; "O.K., O.K., Jack, to hell with that, let's get on with the 'story'. We'll grant you that you can get around." -- And we're willing to grant E.E. Smith the same privilege. He DOES get around -- anybody disagree? The question is: how? Oh, by using "X", and the inertialess drive. The same with brother Burroughs. What do we care if dear old John Carter "yearns" himself to Mars? He gets there, and we are happy, or were happy. So, we exclude all those from THE BEST WAYS TO GET AROUND. They are very nice and convenient to get people places; but, when we run across one of the "BEST WAYS" we often wonder if it REALLY COULDN'T be possible, provided -- . Of course, that word "provided" is the catch -- the reason why we really aren't going around that way. Again -- So 'Way back there, Edmond Hamilton, and a hundred others, have used the idea of light-pressure in an attempt to get away from rockets. But he didn't tell us how, scientifictionaly. In direct contrast to vague statements made regarding the use of light-pressure as propulsion, I remember the MOON CONQUERS, by R.H. Romans, in a 1931 (I think) (You're right, 4SJ) quarterly. You've seen radiometers. The things with black and white vanes placed in a vacuum. The theory is that the opposite shades cause unbalanced light pressure, so that the vanes go around and around. Romans invented a pseudo-scientifically logical way to use light-pressure, once he got his ship in space. His scientist invented a compound of absolute black. (Which is also obtainable in a darkroom.) A small square of darkroom -- or, I mean, absolute black painted on the posterior of the ship, and regulated at will, gave the same sono quite respectable speeds. Certainly it won't work outside of a story -- but, I'm talking scientifictionally. Romans used his imagination, and we all had fun.
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