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Variant, v. 1, issue 3, September 1947
Page 11
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Only one sad soul confessed that he woke up, not screaming, but only tired. This brings to my mind pictures of great fatigue of mind and apirit, utter weariness and despair. Favorite color combinations were various, but difficult to evaluate without a better knowledge of each individual. The original answers included $20 bills, untraviolet stripes with infa-red polka dots, red on red, and black silk on white skin. One fascinating answer was was A well done drawing showing the infinity of space. An interesting color combination indeed! (Ed. Note: Those who have seen Mr. Russell Swanson's pastel of Titan landscape will agree, for it must be presumed that the writer of the above italicised answer had seen it.) Some people know who Mr. Perelman is; some do not. As I am unfamiliar with him myself, I will pass on to the next question, that about card playing. Speaking generally, I should say that most members of this club frown on their foreheads, and on card playing only when they are losing. The sixth question, on suffering from itching, disclosed that many do suffer, and many do not. Usually the first question on the subject brought forth a denial. One answer included the invitatior, however, Would you like to come up and see my itching? obviously another semantic miscarriage. Many admitted itching of the palms in the vicinity of money, and some few said they loved it, especially when it stopped. As to the second question, (Ed. Note: 'If not, how do you stand it?') I have never seen a more varied batch of remedies for itching. They include a stiff wire brush, special or anesthetic ointment, will power, scratching, mind over matter, philosophical fortitude, washing, Old Dr. Soden's Indian Remedy, and sitting or lying down to avoid standing it! Some sadly admit that they just don't stand it, or as one person answered, miserably. The seventh question brought out a tendency toward secretiveness. I was forced to ask my friend editor about some of the characters in the club, especially the identity of one Mr. Smith, for all of four persons claimed that he was their Favorite Itch. Also Mr. Dooling, Mr. Selinger received a vote. The editors received two gallant you, dears that I am certain was not intended for this bald head. The most common answer, I'm sorry to report, was I'm not telling, or the simple ?! of perplexity. I can understand either. There was some difference of opinion as to the intention of this question, for some obviously gave their sweethearts, wives, etc., while others equally obviously pointed to their most hated enemies. As an example of the first type, I quote Yowie! She's all right! and of the latter type, Certain egoists who think they run fandom. I have hesitated a while, considering how to discuss the problem of favorite beverages, alcoholic and otherwise. I shall state that of the first classification the ratio of alcoholic to non-alcoholic was 12 to 13. In the second, narrower classification, there were at least three persons stating none, and four more stating the same thing indirectly by terms such as water, buttermilk or Philadelphia Chlorine Cocktail. Speaking broadly, this indicated to me a slight tendency toward---Well, the balance was definitely on the side of drinking, as three stated in effect, Anything as long as it is alcoholic, five spoke for whisky, especially Scotch, six for wine, with the rest of the replies distributed among the exotic. Vodka, eggnog, spiked milk (another name for eggnog?) zinfandel, zombie, and Lemonade with Tequila. Strangely enough, in this entire intellectual (Ed. Note: !?!? ) crowd are listed only three persons whose favorite drinks are stimulating, two of these speaking for (11)
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Only one sad soul confessed that he woke up, not screaming, but only tired. This brings to my mind pictures of great fatigue of mind and apirit, utter weariness and despair. Favorite color combinations were various, but difficult to evaluate without a better knowledge of each individual. The original answers included $20 bills, untraviolet stripes with infa-red polka dots, red on red, and black silk on white skin. One fascinating answer was was A well done drawing showing the infinity of space. An interesting color combination indeed! (Ed. Note: Those who have seen Mr. Russell Swanson's pastel of Titan landscape will agree, for it must be presumed that the writer of the above italicised answer had seen it.) Some people know who Mr. Perelman is; some do not. As I am unfamiliar with him myself, I will pass on to the next question, that about card playing. Speaking generally, I should say that most members of this club frown on their foreheads, and on card playing only when they are losing. The sixth question, on suffering from itching, disclosed that many do suffer, and many do not. Usually the first question on the subject brought forth a denial. One answer included the invitatior, however, Would you like to come up and see my itching? obviously another semantic miscarriage. Many admitted itching of the palms in the vicinity of money, and some few said they loved it, especially when it stopped. As to the second question, (Ed. Note: 'If not, how do you stand it?') I have never seen a more varied batch of remedies for itching. They include a stiff wire brush, special or anesthetic ointment, will power, scratching, mind over matter, philosophical fortitude, washing, Old Dr. Soden's Indian Remedy, and sitting or lying down to avoid standing it! Some sadly admit that they just don't stand it, or as one person answered, miserably. The seventh question brought out a tendency toward secretiveness. I was forced to ask my friend editor about some of the characters in the club, especially the identity of one Mr. Smith, for all of four persons claimed that he was their Favorite Itch. Also Mr. Dooling, Mr. Selinger received a vote. The editors received two gallant you, dears that I am certain was not intended for this bald head. The most common answer, I'm sorry to report, was I'm not telling, or the simple ?! of perplexity. I can understand either. There was some difference of opinion as to the intention of this question, for some obviously gave their sweethearts, wives, etc., while others equally obviously pointed to their most hated enemies. As an example of the first type, I quote Yowie! She's all right! and of the latter type, Certain egoists who think they run fandom. I have hesitated a while, considering how to discuss the problem of favorite beverages, alcoholic and otherwise. I shall state that of the first classification the ratio of alcoholic to non-alcoholic was 12 to 13. In the second, narrower classification, there were at least three persons stating none, and four more stating the same thing indirectly by terms such as water, buttermilk or Philadelphia Chlorine Cocktail. Speaking broadly, this indicated to me a slight tendency toward---Well, the balance was definitely on the side of drinking, as three stated in effect, Anything as long as it is alcoholic, five spoke for whisky, especially Scotch, six for wine, with the rest of the replies distributed among the exotic. Vodka, eggnog, spiked milk (another name for eggnog?) zinfandel, zombie, and Lemonade with Tequila. Strangely enough, in this entire intellectual (Ed. Note: !?!? ) crowd are listed only three persons whose favorite drinks are stimulating, two of these speaking for (11)
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