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Variant, v. 1, issue 3, September 1947

Page 28

THE GREATEST SWORDSMAN?
(To J.A.W., who will misunderstand)

by Alfred C. Prime

Those of us who are familiar with the John Carter series are inclined to refer to his exploits on Mars whenever we stand in need of epic comparison. Captain Carter's adventures on the fields of the red planet are thought so well known to science-fiction fandom as to need no further mention. But is this really so? There is, for instance, a hero in one of the Mars books who kiils only one foe during the whole course of action. True, he is not the redoubtable Warlord, but he is one of his gang. So, with the Philcon approaching, I decide it was high time that someone should go through the nine Mars books available and make a listing of the casualties. Since John Carter's adopted world is one in which war is the rule rather than the exception, and assassination as much a hazard as automobile accidents in ours, it would be useless to list all the casualties that take place in the background. After all, it is John Carter and his friends in whom we are interested.
Mars is a planet filled with strange and warlike people, and with stranger and even more ferocious animals. The casualty list must include green men, white apes, banths, kaldanes, rykhors, calots, thoats, ulsios, and other assorted beasts. John Carter, as nearly as I can make out, kills approximately 82 green men in A Princess of Mars, as well as two white apes, and perhaps eight other assorted beasts which are not described. In The Gods of Mars he does in 80 enemies, most of them with his trust blade, for is he not the greatest swordsman in two worlds? (This list, of course, cannot hope to mention the number of damnyankees killed by Captain Carter during his period of service with the cavalry of the Confederate States of America) The third book in the series, The Warlord of Mars, takes him up into the frozen polar country of Mars, and describes the battles in which he sends the spirits of 84 foes to the Valley Dor.
Perhaps by this time the hero is getting a little tired with all this legalized butchery, and perhaps a bit bored, since we have seen many times over just how irresistible his sword arm is, and how invulnerable his person. So, in Thuvia, Maid of Mars, we are introduced to Carthoris, son of the great captain. That boy takes after his father, but succeeds in killing only 17 foes, ten of them red, and seven green. (This may be the result of his inability to leap and jump quite so vigorously as his father, whose muscles are, after all, accustomed to the gravity of a heavier planet.
We find the Carter family pushed relatively into the background in The Chessmen of Mars, although Tara, Princess of Helium, daughter of John Carter, granddaughter of Tardos Mors, etc., etc., is in there pushing for the household. She had no business running away during a storm, but Gahan of Gathol, disguised as a plain panthan, arrives soon enough to chop up a banth and approximately eleven kaldanes, an ulsio, and three red men, all of whom were foolish enough to come between the author and the successful termination of the story.
The average of casualties per book is dropping as the series progresses, and Ulysses Paxton, later Vad Varo, minces only[[?]] one man, and even that unfortunate would have escaped had he not shown the dogged persistancy which seems to be shared b[[?]]

(28)

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THE GREATEST SWORDSMAN? (To J.A.W., who will misunderstand) by Alfred C. Prime Those of us who are familiar with the John Carter series are inclined to refer to his exploits on Mars whenever we stand in need of epic comparison. Captain Carter's adventures on the fields of the red planet are thought so well known to science-fiction fandom as to need no further mention. But is this really so? There is, for instance, a hero in one of the Mars books who kiils only one foe during the whole course of action. True, he is not the redoubtable Warlord, but he is one of his gang. So, with the Philcon approaching, I decide it was high time that someone should go through the nine Mars books available and make a listing of the casualties. Since John Carter's adopted world is one in which war is the rule rather than the exception, and assassination as much a hazard as automobile accidents in ours, it would be useless to list all the casualties that take place in the background. After all, it is John Carter and his friends in whom we are interested. Mars is a planet filled with strange and warlike people, and with stranger and even more ferocious animals. The casualty list must include green men, white apes, banths, kaldanes, rykhors, calots, thoats, ulsios, and other assorted beasts. John Carter, as nearly as I can make out, kills approximately 82 green men in A Princess of Mars, as well as two white apes, and perhaps eight other assorted beasts which are not described. In The Gods of Mars he does in 80 enemies, most of them with his trust blade, for is he not the greatest swordsman in two worlds? (This list, of course, cannot hope to mention the number of damnyankees killed by Captain Carter during his period of service with the cavalry of the Confederate States of America) The third book in the series, The Warlord of Mars, takes him up into the frozen polar country of Mars, and describes the battles in which he sends the spirits of 84 foes to the Valley Dor. Perhaps by this time the hero is getting a little tired with all this legalized butchery, and perhaps a bit bored, since we have seen many times over just how irresistible his sword arm is, and how invulnerable his person. So, in Thuvia, Maid of Mars, we are introduced to Carthoris, son of the great captain. That boy takes after his father, but succeeds in killing only 17 foes, ten of them red, and seven green. (This may be the result of his inability to leap and jump quite so vigorously as his father, whose muscles are, after all, accustomed to the gravity of a heavier planet. We find the Carter family pushed relatively into the background in The Chessmen of Mars, although Tara, Princess of Helium, daughter of John Carter, granddaughter of Tardos Mors, etc., etc., is in there pushing for the household. She had no business running away during a storm, but Gahan of Gathol, disguised as a plain panthan, arrives soon enough to chop up a banth and approximately eleven kaldanes, an ulsio, and three red men, all of whom were foolish enough to come between the author and the successful termination of the story. The average of casualties per book is dropping as the series progresses, and Ulysses Paxton, later Vad Varo, minces only[[?]] one man, and even that unfortunate would have escaped had he not shown the dogged persistancy which seems to be shared b[[?]] (28)