Transcribe
Translate
En Garde, whole no. 17.5, 1946
Page 6
More information
digital collection
archival collection guide
transcription tips
page 6. THE MATHEMATICON By Ray Radbury. The time has come, my fan club told me the other day as we met furtively in the shadow of a soapbox, for me to quit blowing bubbles in my opium pipe and start my third thesaurus of thwarted theories and just plain stuff. At first I contemplated the oyster as a fit subject for my thesis but since the Decency League considers that a raw subject I shall not stew about it. I shall dwell for a time on the stars and Earth. I have before me a copy of A STAR IS BORN by Nova Casa, prominent author of THE LOVE LIFE OF THE CLAM or HOW TO KEEP YOUR TRAP SHUT. Casa says, "Have you a large globe in your library?" Now, does he mean our fishbowl or the electric bulb in our mystic east, or Chandu-lier, I ask you? Of course he couldn't mean that balloon-faced Barsoomian what's been picketing me for 7 days in my library, with a bundle of burning TNT in one hand, singing "Hallelujah, I'm a Bomb!" To our amazement Casa explains he means the globe of the Earth we have setting on our table. Now we are asked to imagine we are infinitesimal creatures on the face of that globe. I tried this the other night and succeeded only in getting a dull headache and I sprained my neck trying to balance on the darned thing, not to mention waking the people downstairs. Look up in the sky---QUICK! If you are in the house you may see a little diaper instead of the little dipper overhead so we shall solve this problem by stepping out onto the balcony---if you happen to have one---otherwise, I am bound to think, it would be rather silly stepping out the window, wouldn't it? Well, here we are now---outside at last. Did you bring a blowtorch with you to read by? If you haven't a blowtorch bring a candle. But be careful not to breathe too harshly while you read this article or you will blow out your candle. Better still, don't breathe at all. Of course, when the dawn comes tomorrow morning you will make rather an oddlooking corpse, lying on your back in the bushes with a candle in one hand and this thesis in the other, and your face all blue; so I think you have held your breath long enough.....exhale! Well, your candle has fluttered out, so we shall have to read by moonlight. As you see, the moon is out tonight. Wait a minute! If the mooon is out, then it can't be lit---can it? If a candle is out then it is not glowing---is it? And yet we say the moon is out when it's in. Getting back to the Moon---tonight we shall view a rare phenomenon: The Moon is being eclipsed.
Saving...
prev
next
page 6. THE MATHEMATICON By Ray Radbury. The time has come, my fan club told me the other day as we met furtively in the shadow of a soapbox, for me to quit blowing bubbles in my opium pipe and start my third thesaurus of thwarted theories and just plain stuff. At first I contemplated the oyster as a fit subject for my thesis but since the Decency League considers that a raw subject I shall not stew about it. I shall dwell for a time on the stars and Earth. I have before me a copy of A STAR IS BORN by Nova Casa, prominent author of THE LOVE LIFE OF THE CLAM or HOW TO KEEP YOUR TRAP SHUT. Casa says, "Have you a large globe in your library?" Now, does he mean our fishbowl or the electric bulb in our mystic east, or Chandu-lier, I ask you? Of course he couldn't mean that balloon-faced Barsoomian what's been picketing me for 7 days in my library, with a bundle of burning TNT in one hand, singing "Hallelujah, I'm a Bomb!" To our amazement Casa explains he means the globe of the Earth we have setting on our table. Now we are asked to imagine we are infinitesimal creatures on the face of that globe. I tried this the other night and succeeded only in getting a dull headache and I sprained my neck trying to balance on the darned thing, not to mention waking the people downstairs. Look up in the sky---QUICK! If you are in the house you may see a little diaper instead of the little dipper overhead so we shall solve this problem by stepping out onto the balcony---if you happen to have one---otherwise, I am bound to think, it would be rather silly stepping out the window, wouldn't it? Well, here we are now---outside at last. Did you bring a blowtorch with you to read by? If you haven't a blowtorch bring a candle. But be careful not to breathe too harshly while you read this article or you will blow out your candle. Better still, don't breathe at all. Of course, when the dawn comes tomorrow morning you will make rather an oddlooking corpse, lying on your back in the bushes with a candle in one hand and this thesis in the other, and your face all blue; so I think you have held your breath long enough.....exhale! Well, your candle has fluttered out, so we shall have to read by moonlight. As you see, the moon is out tonight. Wait a minute! If the mooon is out, then it can't be lit---can it? If a candle is out then it is not glowing---is it? And yet we say the moon is out when it's in. Getting back to the Moon---tonight we shall view a rare phenomenon: The Moon is being eclipsed.
Hevelin Fanzines
sidebar
