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Fantasy Digest, v. 1, issue 6, August-September 1939
6
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Mencken of the fan world, who thought you dead, saying none too sorrow-fully of your former activities: "Forrest Van Tucker was not funny, he was ludicrous, one laughed at him for the same reason one laughs at a man who has just slipped on a banana peel. When people thrust his pen-[?] sewage at me as being funny----, it seems to me that I may be pardoned for lambasting him with a lusty kick in the pantaloons." "Gulp" comments Van Tucker. "One meets the nicest people." Address-ing another he might say that the great Forrest Van Tucker (himself) was reentering the field, in politer language he would be replied to: "Van Tucker: Never hoid of you, you aint dat dead guy are you?" If you are polite enough to outline your past career tothis unappreciative gent you might (if you were attempting a come back), receive some re-ply like this. "So what, I never saw you do it, and anyway I' a better fan than you are. I'm an "old-timer." Then this same uncomplimentary gentleman might wisely advise: "If you're a big shot let's see you organize a club like MooMoo, or a hamuscript bureau like Moskowiggins does, or a news weekly like James V. Duce. And if the returning old-timer is a damn fool, which they sometimes are, they organize competitive MooMoo's and competitive hamuscript bureaus, and competing news sheets and att-empt to impress upon fandom the fact that, they are someone important, they're a "great" "old-timer" and that that dope Moskowiggins who wri-tes old-timer articles is regarded as a dope by everyone in fandom, & surely everyone recognizes that you being a "real" old-timer, are en-titled to aosignition of "top" fan. Yes, some fans returning actually do get in that deep and worse, and after it's all over, after they've tangled themselves into one great mess, they either sunk away or attempt to rise through their own initiative and their own originality to a position of respect as a real fan and not as an unwanted, meddling throwback. Seriously though, there were the Louis C. Smith's , the David A. Kyles, the Morris S. Dollens, and dozens of others, all making fruit-less comebacks. I say it can't be done! That no fan who has once known a position of prominence and prestige in the fan field will ever fight to the finish and clear the brambled path ahead of him. He hasn't the patience anymore. He remembers acutely, that a few years back he was the big cheese, and wonders if he isn't smart enough to acieve that po-sition some "easy" way. He'll never know, that there never was, never will be an "easy" way. Not, at least while human nature remains as it was. And maybe, I say maybe because nothing is beyond the realm of pos-sibility, some long years from now, after I've retired in one form or another from active fandom, I may feel the urge to return, to experie-nce again the joys, the dissapointments, the heady exhiliration of well done and well complimented fan activity. At that future date, I'll once again survey the fan world, only half comprehending it's immense change since last I viewed it. They say there is no fool like an old fool, and the same applies to fandom where one might say "there is no fool like an "old-timer" fool, and maybe I'll feel motivated enought to egotisti-cally proclaim my return, and experience the chagrin of not being re-membered. And maybe again, I'll say to myself; so and so has a manusc-ript bureau, such and such has a weekly, this fellow hero has organized a cult called Rah Rah. I'll become famous too. I'll organize a mansc-ript bureau, publish a weekly, make a better Rah Rah club, and once again I'll be one of the "top" fans. And when a little time passes and my Rah Rah, my manuscript bureau, my my weekly has received unjustly small acclaim, I'll grow embittered and pick on every little point I can find
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Mencken of the fan world, who thought you dead, saying none too sorrow-fully of your former activities: "Forrest Van Tucker was not funny, he was ludicrous, one laughed at him for the same reason one laughs at a man who has just slipped on a banana peel. When people thrust his pen-[?] sewage at me as being funny----, it seems to me that I may be pardoned for lambasting him with a lusty kick in the pantaloons." "Gulp" comments Van Tucker. "One meets the nicest people." Address-ing another he might say that the great Forrest Van Tucker (himself) was reentering the field, in politer language he would be replied to: "Van Tucker: Never hoid of you, you aint dat dead guy are you?" If you are polite enough to outline your past career tothis unappreciative gent you might (if you were attempting a come back), receive some re-ply like this. "So what, I never saw you do it, and anyway I' a better fan than you are. I'm an "old-timer." Then this same uncomplimentary gentleman might wisely advise: "If you're a big shot let's see you organize a club like MooMoo, or a hamuscript bureau like Moskowiggins does, or a news weekly like James V. Duce. And if the returning old-timer is a damn fool, which they sometimes are, they organize competitive MooMoo's and competitive hamuscript bureaus, and competing news sheets and att-empt to impress upon fandom the fact that, they are someone important, they're a "great" "old-timer" and that that dope Moskowiggins who wri-tes old-timer articles is regarded as a dope by everyone in fandom, & surely everyone recognizes that you being a "real" old-timer, are en-titled to aosignition of "top" fan. Yes, some fans returning actually do get in that deep and worse, and after it's all over, after they've tangled themselves into one great mess, they either sunk away or attempt to rise through their own initiative and their own originality to a position of respect as a real fan and not as an unwanted, meddling throwback. Seriously though, there were the Louis C. Smith's , the David A. Kyles, the Morris S. Dollens, and dozens of others, all making fruit-less comebacks. I say it can't be done! That no fan who has once known a position of prominence and prestige in the fan field will ever fight to the finish and clear the brambled path ahead of him. He hasn't the patience anymore. He remembers acutely, that a few years back he was the big cheese, and wonders if he isn't smart enough to acieve that po-sition some "easy" way. He'll never know, that there never was, never will be an "easy" way. Not, at least while human nature remains as it was. And maybe, I say maybe because nothing is beyond the realm of pos-sibility, some long years from now, after I've retired in one form or another from active fandom, I may feel the urge to return, to experie-nce again the joys, the dissapointments, the heady exhiliration of well done and well complimented fan activity. At that future date, I'll once again survey the fan world, only half comprehending it's immense change since last I viewed it. They say there is no fool like an old fool, and the same applies to fandom where one might say "there is no fool like an "old-timer" fool, and maybe I'll feel motivated enought to egotisti-cally proclaim my return, and experience the chagrin of not being re-membered. And maybe again, I'll say to myself; so and so has a manusc-ript bureau, such and such has a weekly, this fellow hero has organized a cult called Rah Rah. I'll become famous too. I'll organize a mansc-ript bureau, publish a weekly, make a better Rah Rah club, and once again I'll be one of the "top" fans. And when a little time passes and my Rah Rah, my manuscript bureau, my my weekly has received unjustly small acclaim, I'll grow embittered and pick on every little point I can find
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