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Spaceways, v. 3, issue 5, whole no. 21, June 1941

6                                           SPACEWAYS
         HOW TO BE A HACK

none on hand? Tsk, tsk, I never have any, either. Well, a toothbrush, and mouthwash will do nicely.
            Now we're ready to start. Double-spacing, an inch margin, name and address in the upper left hand corner, and the approximate number of words int he other. To find that approximate number, count the number of words in one full-length line of your manuscript (better take the average of three or more such lines to make sure), then the number of lines on that page. Multiply by the number of pages in the story, and you have it. Center your title and type it in caps. I underscore it, too, but that's optional. You are ready at last to create, to play God.
           Wouldn't it be nice if there were a word in theEnglish language by the use of which you could make yourself a successful writer? A word that would enable you to sell most or all you write?
          There is.
           There's nothing magical about it. But by taking it and heeding its meaning, you'll sell eventually. It's a very simple little word.
          Restraint.
          It'll bear repetition.
          Restraint.
          It was Sinclair Lewis, I believe, who said, "The perfect story would be one written without adjectives," or words to that effest. It's a strange paradox that the less excited you seem to be yourself, the more excited the reader will become. More on this later; it is, in my humble opinion, the most important single thing any beginning writer should know.
          But we want to get this story written, don't we? Okay, there's a device that pro hacks call the "narrative hook". I hope you're as properly awed as I was the first time I heard the term. It means simply that we must get the reader interested from the first sentence so we can drag the poor sucker through the rest of the story. We'll have to start things off with a bang; maybe with two bangs. But not, Foo forbid, like this:
      "' I am going to destroy the world!' Chuckling evilly to himself as he mumbled these dire words, the mad Russian scientist Moskowits Melonpatch Moskowitz hobbled along in his gloomy castle dragging after him his sinister ray gun with which he intended to destroy every person on earth!"
        Gruesome, isn't it? I feel sick, too. That's an example of what must be avoided. Remember the restraint. There's no clear impression in the above, and too many adjectives to stumble over getting it; the whole being horribly overstated and preposterous. The best thing to do is to drop the mad scientist theme completely, for reasons that should have been long evident to every fan. But it can still be sold, with proper handling, to the cheapest pulps, meaning TWS, of course, so let's try it this way:
          "'Death,' said the Doctor, touching his fingers together in the precise way he had, 'is, to me, a purely impersonal and detached thing.'"
           Not very stunpendous, but infinitely better than the first version, getting things off with a whoop and a holler, and characterizing the doctor at the same time, in a fairly effective manner.
           And while we're still beginning, here's another don't: avoid beeg words as if they were as obnoxious as the above-mentioned Mad Scientists. F'rixample, never like this:
          "Maneuvering his pedal extremities with extreme dexterity and rapidity upon the mode of elevation suspended from his aerial conveyance, Horace Van Finch activated the electrical mechanism that motivated the pondeous door and effected an entrance."
           The above sentence reminds me of a chase scene in a horse opera with the Song of the Volga Boatmen as background music. This is more like it:
          "Find Finch scrambled frantically up the ladder. The electric switch clicked under his hands, the door swung open. Finch Finch flung himself breathlessly inside."

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6 SPACEWAYS HOW TO BE A HACK none on hand? Tsk, tsk, I never have any, either. Well, a toothbrush, and mouthwash will do nicely. Now we're ready to start. Double-spacing, an inch margin, name and address in the upper left hand corner, and the approximate number of words int he other. To find that approximate number, count the number of words in one full-length line of your manuscript (better take the average of three or more such lines to make sure), then the number of lines on that page. Multiply by the number of pages in the story, and you have it. Center your title and type it in caps. I underscore it, too, but that's optional. You are ready at last to create, to play God. Wouldn't it be nice if there were a word in theEnglish language by the use of which you could make yourself a successful writer? A word that would enable you to sell most or all you write? There is. There's nothing magical about it. But by taking it and heeding its meaning, you'll sell eventually. It's a very simple little word. Restraint. It'll bear repetition. Restraint. It was Sinclair Lewis, I believe, who said, "The perfect story would be one written without adjectives," or words to that effest. It's a strange paradox that the less excited you seem to be yourself, the more excited the reader will become. More on this later; it is, in my humble opinion, the most important single thing any beginning writer should know. But we want to get this story written, don't we? Okay, there's a device that pro hacks call the "narrative hook". I hope you're as properly awed as I was the first time I heard the term. It means simply that we must get the reader interested from the first sentence so we can drag the poor sucker through the rest of the story. We'll have to start things off with a bang; maybe with two bangs. But not, Foo forbid, like this: "' I am going to destroy the world!' Chuckling evilly to himself as he mumbled these dire words, the mad Russian scientist Moskowits Melonpatch Moskowitz hobbled along in his gloomy castle dragging after him his sinister ray gun with which he intended to destroy every person on earth!" Gruesome, isn't it? I feel sick, too. That's an example of what must be avoided. Remember the restraint. There's no clear impression in the above, and too many adjectives to stumble over getting it; the whole being horribly overstated and preposterous. The best thing to do is to drop the mad scientist theme completely, for reasons that should have been long evident to every fan. But it can still be sold, with proper handling, to the cheapest pulps, meaning TWS, of course, so let's try it this way: "'Death,' said the Doctor, touching his fingers together in the precise way he had, 'is, to me, a purely impersonal and detached thing.'" Not very stunpendous, but infinitely better than the first version, getting things off with a whoop and a holler, and characterizing the doctor at the same time, in a fairly effective manner. And while we're still beginning, here's another don't: avoid beeg words as if they were as obnoxious as the above-mentioned Mad Scientists. F'rixample, never like this: "Maneuvering his pedal extremities with extreme dexterity and rapidity upon the mode of elevation suspended from his aerial conveyance, Horace Van Finch activated the electrical mechanism that motivated the pondeous door and effected an entrance." The above sentence reminds me of a chase scene in a horse opera with the Song of the Volga Boatmen as background music. This is more like it: "Find Finch scrambled frantically up the ladder. The electric switch clicked under his hands, the door swung open. Finch Finch flung himself breathlessly inside."