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Vanguard Variorum, May 1946

VANGUARD VARIORUM          17

Mirror: "Oscar Levant, when asked his opinion about a certain film, said: 'It stinks.' 'Who are you to say it stinks?' yelled the indignant producer. To which Oscar shouted: 'Who do you have to be?'"
(Yeah, you got it bub. It's the haircut act all over again.)
I didn't say I was an expert on Marxism, Jim, honest I didn't. And by "careful examination" of your article I really didn't mean that at all; I only meant that I had read it four times and had a couple of rather long discussions of it with people. I know damned well I couldn't present a specific criticism of the entire thing; what I did say was designed to show why I,like Dan'l, would consider such a project as time-wasting. My ability has nothing to do with it. I could poke a lot of holes in certain things you said, I think, but you could come back with further information and background material that I (a) never heard of, and (b) just never would have thought of as relevant to the issue even if I had been familiar with it. And it is certainly far beyond my ability to construct anything so complicated as the combination suit of armor and double-headed battleaxe your "Bibliography" has turned out to be.
In short, you win -- I give up. But just one thing I'd like to know before I crawl away: What are you talking about when you mention my "political mentor" (your quotes)? Are you trying to be insulting or funny? I said that I took most of my political instruction and inspiration from Judy; it doesn't follow that she at any time deliberately tried to convert me to her beliefs. In fact, the only person who ever did that -- and who thus would qualify as my mentor -- was Michel, who made a very painstaking and time-consuming effort to convert me to his beliefs. But then Michel, it seems to me, would be classed as a Marxist. And that gives rise to the suspicion that all that stuff he kept telling me was about Marxism. Gee, isn't it too bad I never listened!
III. If you really want answers to the other questions you asked me in the last Agenbite, Jim (which, naturally, I doubt), you might try going back and reading my original statements again. I think they are all as complete as possible; I think they are all justified. The great Wollheim suit, as has been pointed out before, has made us all a little more careful about what we say in print; any lack of bluntness on my part was not by choice, and certainly didn't indicate anything in my attitudes or ideas that I would desire to hide from my friends.

B) THE MAIN EVENT
AGENBITEOF INWIT (January): The paper made a good impression. I have the feeling I ought to be able to say something terrifically funny about "War of Moles", but the spectacle of millions of hungry, homeless, displaced moles arises to haunt me -- and I weep instead.
TUMBRILS: I've thought of a way you can save some money on the production of this, Jim. Simply save your cover stencil until you're ready to do the next issue, then mask off the used sections and do another cover in the unused part. (I knew that contents page idea of mine had an advantage to it, somewhere or other.) ... The feeble: You can always depend on the U.S. Marines to come through in a crisis.
SCIENCE*FICTION: I'm afraid there won't be any more issues of this after the first one. Both Judy and I now have typewriters without *s.*
HELLO CENTRAL: A party line?
*Naw, not this typer.  This is damon's. My new one, Notgnimer (everything else on it is backwards),makes its appearance only on the cover and headings.

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VANGUARD VARIORUM 17 Mirror: "Oscar Levant, when asked his opinion about a certain film, said: 'It stinks.' 'Who are you to say it stinks?' yelled the indignant producer. To which Oscar shouted: 'Who do you have to be?'" (Yeah, you got it bub. It's the haircut act all over again.) I didn't say I was an expert on Marxism, Jim, honest I didn't. And by "careful examination" of your article I really didn't mean that at all; I only meant that I had read it four times and had a couple of rather long discussions of it with people. I know damned well I couldn't present a specific criticism of the entire thing; what I did say was designed to show why I,like Dan'l, would consider such a project as time-wasting. My ability has nothing to do with it. I could poke a lot of holes in certain things you said, I think, but you could come back with further information and background material that I (a) never heard of, and (b) just never would have thought of as relevant to the issue even if I had been familiar with it. And it is certainly far beyond my ability to construct anything so complicated as the combination suit of armor and double-headed battleaxe your "Bibliography" has turned out to be. In short, you win -- I give up. But just one thing I'd like to know before I crawl away: What are you talking about when you mention my "political mentor" (your quotes)? Are you trying to be insulting or funny? I said that I took most of my political instruction and inspiration from Judy; it doesn't follow that she at any time deliberately tried to convert me to her beliefs. In fact, the only person who ever did that -- and who thus would qualify as my mentor -- was Michel, who made a very painstaking and time-consuming effort to convert me to his beliefs. But then Michel, it seems to me, would be classed as a Marxist. And that gives rise to the suspicion that all that stuff he kept telling me was about Marxism. Gee, isn't it too bad I never listened! III. If you really want answers to the other questions you asked me in the last Agenbite, Jim (which, naturally, I doubt), you might try going back and reading my original statements again. I think they are all as complete as possible; I think they are all justified. The great Wollheim suit, as has been pointed out before, has made us all a little more careful about what we say in print; any lack of bluntness on my part was not by choice, and certainly didn't indicate anything in my attitudes or ideas that I would desire to hide from my friends. B) THE MAIN EVENT AGENBITEOF INWIT (January): The paper made a good impression. I have the feeling I ought to be able to say something terrifically funny about "War of Moles", but the spectacle of millions of hungry, homeless, displaced moles arises to haunt me -- and I weep instead. TUMBRILS: I've thought of a way you can save some money on the production of this, Jim. Simply save your cover stencil until you're ready to do the next issue, then mask off the used sections and do another cover in the unused part. (I knew that contents page idea of mine had an advantage to it, somewhere or other.) ... The feeble: You can always depend on the U.S. Marines to come through in a crisis. SCIENCE*FICTION: I'm afraid there won't be any more issues of this after the first one. Both Judy and I now have typewriters without *s.* HELLO CENTRAL: A party line? *Naw, not this typer. This is damon's. My new one, Notgnimer (everything else on it is backwards),makes its appearance only on the cover and headings.