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Fantahash, issue 1, 1940
Page 2
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AT THIS FESTIVE SEASON only five more shopping days, five more shopping days, do your christmas shopping early, wrap pachages carefully, mail early... be thankful you can give to the community chest the american way... come into our basement and see the fine display of toys for this season. remember: shop early, wrap carefully, mail early... mamma, isn't it nice that daddy can be home all the time now?... all members of troop 17 will report to headquarters at least one evening this week to assist in repairing toys for underprivileged children... i'm afraid, my dear, if these terrible labor troubles go on, we shall be out on the streets, literally out on the streets. brenda, poor child, will have to do without a new roadster this year -- and, at her age, these little things mean so much to one's self-esteem. mortimer, isn't there something that the government can do about these foreign agitators? look, sue, why don't you and joe spend the holiday with us? sure, we got plenty of room --- and a shower all to ourselves. i, know -- but maybe you and joe can get married by easter. they say things are picking up... damn, cransten, what the hell are they waiting for over there? we passed the embargo repeal; we're ready to sell them everything they need on good terms. why don't they get going? if i may suggest, sir -- only a half- day's bombing next monday -- ... do your christmas shopping early, wrap packages carefully, mail early: there will be no deliveries on christmas day... a seal on every letter, a seal on every letter, a seal on every letter and for dessert, may we suggest a dish of j e l l -- o come all ye faithful... is ten years all they can give him for passport forgeries, mortimer? joe says he couldn't possibly have won on a write-in vote, but just the same, we showed them a few things. d'you really think it's the last time we'll be able to vote for him?... be thankful you can give to the community chest the american way... how much, cranston? what the hell, double it. yes, i said double it: we can afford to be generous this year. of course they'll start things going. d'you think they dare to have the troops hanging around all winter soaking up communism?... peace on earth and mercy mi-yuld, gawd and sinner reconci-yuld... remember: do your christmas shopping early, wrap packages carefully, mail early: there will be no deliveries on christmas day. mamma, how can santa claus come when there isn't any chimney? a seal on each letter, a seal on each letter, a seal on each letter.. be thankful you can give to the community chest the american way... bah, said scrooge, humbug! R.W. Lowndes
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AT THIS FESTIVE SEASON only five more shopping days, five more shopping days, do your christmas shopping early, wrap pachages carefully, mail early... be thankful you can give to the community chest the american way... come into our basement and see the fine display of toys for this season. remember: shop early, wrap carefully, mail early... mamma, isn't it nice that daddy can be home all the time now?... all members of troop 17 will report to headquarters at least one evening this week to assist in repairing toys for underprivileged children... i'm afraid, my dear, if these terrible labor troubles go on, we shall be out on the streets, literally out on the streets. brenda, poor child, will have to do without a new roadster this year -- and, at her age, these little things mean so much to one's self-esteem. mortimer, isn't there something that the government can do about these foreign agitators? look, sue, why don't you and joe spend the holiday with us? sure, we got plenty of room --- and a shower all to ourselves. i, know -- but maybe you and joe can get married by easter. they say things are picking up... damn, cransten, what the hell are they waiting for over there? we passed the embargo repeal; we're ready to sell them everything they need on good terms. why don't they get going? if i may suggest, sir -- only a half- day's bombing next monday -- ... do your christmas shopping early, wrap packages carefully, mail early: there will be no deliveries on christmas day... a seal on every letter, a seal on every letter, a seal on every letter and for dessert, may we suggest a dish of j e l l -- o come all ye faithful... is ten years all they can give him for passport forgeries, mortimer? joe says he couldn't possibly have won on a write-in vote, but just the same, we showed them a few things. d'you really think it's the last time we'll be able to vote for him?... be thankful you can give to the community chest the american way... how much, cranston? what the hell, double it. yes, i said double it: we can afford to be generous this year. of course they'll start things going. d'you think they dare to have the troops hanging around all winter soaking up communism?... peace on earth and mercy mi-yuld, gawd and sinner reconci-yuld... remember: do your christmas shopping early, wrap packages carefully, mail early: there will be no deliveries on christmas day. mamma, how can santa claus come when there isn't any chimney? a seal on each letter, a seal on each letter, a seal on each letter.. be thankful you can give to the community chest the american way... bah, said scrooge, humbug! R.W. Lowndes
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