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Snide, issue 1, May 1940
Page 8
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Jeaves is home-sick for boiler-factory noise. Can you send us some? Two Thousand, Three Hundred Forty Eight and a Halfth Day. About the natives. One of them moved today. A rock rolled down the bank and knocked it into the creek, where it lay with a bored expression. Suddenly, to the surprise of all of us, Snarletti dashed forward, picked it out of the water, and rushed with it into the shelter where he dried it off with our dehydrator ray. He is like that. Heroic. As I said yesterday, our food problem was solved. It happened this way. Ginerton was looking in a pile of trash for the ace of spades, when suddenly he came up with a small metallic object in his hand. It was a can-opener. 'Ginerton,' said Captain Batwall, summing it up, 'you have found a can-opener.' And that's the way we all felt about it. We drank a piece of toast in honor of Ginerton's quick-witted act. (Toast is liquid here on Jupiter. Ugh.) Thanks for the boiler-factory recital you sent us. However, we hardly expected you to be so enthusiastic about it. Two Thousand Three Hundred and So Onth Day. Captain Batwell, with the food problem solved, allowed the men to scratch the surface of their itch for scientific studies today. Snarletti found three different pretty 8
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Jeaves is home-sick for boiler-factory noise. Can you send us some? Two Thousand, Three Hundred Forty Eight and a Halfth Day. About the natives. One of them moved today. A rock rolled down the bank and knocked it into the creek, where it lay with a bored expression. Suddenly, to the surprise of all of us, Snarletti dashed forward, picked it out of the water, and rushed with it into the shelter where he dried it off with our dehydrator ray. He is like that. Heroic. As I said yesterday, our food problem was solved. It happened this way. Ginerton was looking in a pile of trash for the ace of spades, when suddenly he came up with a small metallic object in his hand. It was a can-opener. 'Ginerton,' said Captain Batwall, summing it up, 'you have found a can-opener.' And that's the way we all felt about it. We drank a piece of toast in honor of Ginerton's quick-witted act. (Toast is liquid here on Jupiter. Ugh.) Thanks for the boiler-factory recital you sent us. However, we hardly expected you to be so enthusiastic about it. Two Thousand Three Hundred and So Onth Day. Captain Batwell, with the food problem solved, allowed the men to scratch the surface of their itch for scientific studies today. Snarletti found three different pretty 8
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