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Snide, issue 1, May 1940
Page 13
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A new batch of dilemmas has, as usual, cropped up. We are being attacked by giant water-bugs from Io, our precious can-opener is out of commission, and we have come down with an attack of Martian measles. What will happen to this brave little band of space pioneers? Will the water-bugs get us? Will we die of starvation? Who cares? For the answers to these thrilling questions, read the next great story in this great series, 'Via Sweepstakes,' by that great author, Gordon A. Gillicutty, coming to this magazine soon. That's all, folks! NOTHING Fred Hurter, [Jr?] Nothing is the topic of this essay; and nothing being the topic there is no topic and you have nothing. Now, nothing is nothing, a complete absence of anything, so it would appear that the best way of writing about nothing would be to write nothing, though you could write nothing by writing nothing but nothing the whole page. It will make a long essay, yet you will have written nothing and the chances are you will get nothing for it. You will, no doubt, agree that writing about nothing is very uninteresting, though you can use up a lot of room writing nothing. Yet, just using up a lot of room writing nothing about nothing is not getting to the point of nothing, and nothing being the point, you get nowhere. Let us tackle the subject from another angle. The subject is 'Nothing'; therefore you have no subject; and writing on no subject is very difficult, if not impossible. The most logical means of writing about nothing, except - 13
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A new batch of dilemmas has, as usual, cropped up. We are being attacked by giant water-bugs from Io, our precious can-opener is out of commission, and we have come down with an attack of Martian measles. What will happen to this brave little band of space pioneers? Will the water-bugs get us? Will we die of starvation? Who cares? For the answers to these thrilling questions, read the next great story in this great series, 'Via Sweepstakes,' by that great author, Gordon A. Gillicutty, coming to this magazine soon. That's all, folks! NOTHING Fred Hurter, [Jr?] Nothing is the topic of this essay; and nothing being the topic there is no topic and you have nothing. Now, nothing is nothing, a complete absence of anything, so it would appear that the best way of writing about nothing would be to write nothing, though you could write nothing by writing nothing but nothing the whole page. It will make a long essay, yet you will have written nothing and the chances are you will get nothing for it. You will, no doubt, agree that writing about nothing is very uninteresting, though you can use up a lot of room writing nothing. Yet, just using up a lot of room writing nothing about nothing is not getting to the point of nothing, and nothing being the point, you get nowhere. Let us tackle the subject from another angle. The subject is 'Nothing'; therefore you have no subject; and writing on no subject is very difficult, if not impossible. The most logical means of writing about nothing, except - 13
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