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Snide, issue 2, February 1941
Page 8
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CALL for CAPTAIN PAST! by Gereaux de la Ree & Rod Gaetz 'Captain Past,' hissed Otto, as he came running through the door, backwards as usual. 'Please!' complained Captain Past. 'Next time open the door; it's becoming expensive.' Otto hissed again (he was always hissing; his mother had been scared by a snake), 'I told you to put in revolving doors!' 'Well! What do you want?' thundered the Captain. 'They want you on Earth. That flashlight is shining again.' This is what the President always did when they wanted Captain Past, the Wizard of Silence. They would put a flashlight at the south pole so he could see it from his hangout on the moon and come and save the system, or anything else that wanted saving, such as old stamps or pieces of string. As soon as Captain Past saw this he would always get his three men of the past; Drag, the galvinated goon, or robot; Otto, the synthetic simp; and 'the Liver', who had lived ever since his death years before in a glass case; and leave for Earth at once. Captain Past would have carried around a brain, but at the time none were available. This made the Liver very jealous. 'We'll leave at once,' hissed Captain Past. 'Get Drag and the Liver and roll out the Mess.' The Mess was Captain Past's super-powered airplane, in which he flew around the system at Astounding speeds. As everyone but Captain Past knows, planes do not work in space; but the men of the past had oars. In three shakes of a dinosaur's tail they were off for Earth. Drag, who was too big to go through the Mess' door, was always attached onto the rear of the ship and in times of need was 8
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CALL for CAPTAIN PAST! by Gereaux de la Ree & Rod Gaetz 'Captain Past,' hissed Otto, as he came running through the door, backwards as usual. 'Please!' complained Captain Past. 'Next time open the door; it's becoming expensive.' Otto hissed again (he was always hissing; his mother had been scared by a snake), 'I told you to put in revolving doors!' 'Well! What do you want?' thundered the Captain. 'They want you on Earth. That flashlight is shining again.' This is what the President always did when they wanted Captain Past, the Wizard of Silence. They would put a flashlight at the south pole so he could see it from his hangout on the moon and come and save the system, or anything else that wanted saving, such as old stamps or pieces of string. As soon as Captain Past saw this he would always get his three men of the past; Drag, the galvinated goon, or robot; Otto, the synthetic simp; and 'the Liver', who had lived ever since his death years before in a glass case; and leave for Earth at once. Captain Past would have carried around a brain, but at the time none were available. This made the Liver very jealous. 'We'll leave at once,' hissed Captain Past. 'Get Drag and the Liver and roll out the Mess.' The Mess was Captain Past's super-powered airplane, in which he flew around the system at Astounding speeds. As everyone but Captain Past knows, planes do not work in space; but the men of the past had oars. In three shakes of a dinosaur's tail they were off for Earth. Drag, who was too big to go through the Mess' door, was always attached onto the rear of the ship and in times of need was 8
Chamada para CAPTAIN PAST! por Gereaux de la Ree & Rod Gaetz "Captain Past", sibilou Otto, ao passar correndo pela porta, de costas como de costume. "Por favor!" clamou Captain Past. "Da proxima vez abra a porta; isto já está ficando caro". Otto sibilou novamente (estava sempre chiando; sua mãe fora assustada por uma cobra), "Eu te disse para colocar portas giratórias". "Bem! O que você quer" trovejou o Capitão. "Eles o querem na Terra. A lanterna está brilhando novamente". Isso é o que o presidente sempre fazia quando queriam chamar o Captain Past, o Feiticeiro do Silêncio. Eles colocariam um laterna no polo sul para que assim a pudesse avistar de sua moradia na Lua e partir para salvar o istema, ou o que quer que eles quisessem salvar, como velhos selos ou pedaços de corda. Assim que Captain Past o visse, ele sempre pegaria seus três homens do passado; Drag, o capanga galvanizado, ou robotizado; Otto, o pateta sintético; e "Liver", quem viveu desde sua morte, anos antes, numa caixa de vidro; e deixara a Terra de uma vez por todas. Captain Past teria carregado um cerebro por aí, mas no momento nehum estava disponpivel. Isso deixou Liver muito enciumado. "Partiremos de uma vez," sibilou Captain Past. "Pegue Drag e Liver e prepare o Mess". Mess era o avião super poderoso do Captain Past, no qual ele viajva pelo sistema em velocidades surpreendentes. Como todos exeto Captain Past sabem, aviões não funcionam no espaço; mas o homem do passado possuia remos. Em três balançadas de uma cauda de dinonssauro eles partiram para Terra. Drag, que era muito grande para passar pela porta do Mess, era sempre preso á traseira da embarcação e em tempo de necessidade
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