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El Laberinto, 1971-1987

3
[emblem]

. . . I think about the most beautiful time in that yard -- and truthfully speaking, scarey -- was ten minutes before they came in. People were nervous, but so very much willing to go. They still had fear -- I know for me I still had fear of losing my physical life, but yet I felt that peace, like it would help me gain a real beautiful spirituality for my future lives.

I was shot, twice in the leg and once in the head. I saw in my mind a very dark deep black with nothing but an orange glow surfacing from the bottom. I was falling into this, constantly falling, and it was such a peacefulness that I had reached another level of spirituality. I actually saw that I was going to die. I figured that I had given my life for what I believed in. I figured I was almost dead, but I wasn't. I opened my eyes.

And after that, gas was on my face. When I woke up, this cool rain, this cool little drizzle, was going against my face against that gas. I had forgotten where I was for a second there, I had felt so peaceful. And then the butt of a rifle hit me in the nose, and it broke me out of that beautifulness.

After that, it was nothing but beatings. All they wanted to do was beat. All they wanted to do was kill. All they wanted was blood. Then the grief, the shock -- how many people had died, how many people I saw dead, how many people whose brains I seen blown out, testicles blown off, blood just gushing out of their bodies. The agony on some of the brothers' faces, the peacefulness in others. So many contrasts -- it was almost like life itself.

[emblem]

WAR SONG

It is for me to eat what food I have
And all day sit idle?
Is it for me to drink the sweet water poured.out
And all day sit idle?
Is it for me to hold my child in my arms
And all day sit idle?
My desire was uncontrollable.
It was the dizziness (of battle);
I ground it to powder and therewith I painted my face.
It was the drunkenness of battle
I ground it to powder and therewith I tied my hair in a war knot.
Then did I hold firm my well-strung bow and my smooth, straight-flying arrow.
To me did I draw my far-striding sandals, and fast I tied them.
Over the flat lad did I then go striding,
Over the embedded stones did I then go stumbling.
Under the trees in the ditches did I go stooping,
Through the trees on the high ground did I go brushing quickly.
In four halts did I reach the shining
white eagle,
my guardian,
And I asked for power.
Then favorable to me he felt
And did bring forth this shining white stone.
Our enemy's mountain he made white as with moonlight
And brought them close,
And across them I went striding.
In four halts did I reach the blue hawk,
my guardian,
And I asked for power
The hawk favorable to me he felt
And did bring forth his blue stone,
Our enemy's waters he made white as with moonlight,
And around them I went striding.
There did I seize and pull up and make into a bundle
Those things which were my enemy's, 
All kinds of seeds and beautiful clouds and beautiful winds,
Then came forth a thick stalk and a tassel,
And the undying seed did ripen.
This I did on behalf of my people.
Thus should you also think and desire,
All you my kinsmen.

Saving...

3 [emblem] . . . I think about the most beautiful time in that yard -- and truthfully speaking, scarey -- was ten minutes before they came in. People were nervous, but so very much willing to go. They still had fear -- I know for me I still had fear of losing my physical life, but yet I felt that peace, like it would help me gain a real beautiful spirituality for my future lives. I was shot, twice in the leg and once in the head. I saw in my mind a very dark deep black with nothing but an orange glow surfacing from the bottom. I was falling into this, constantly falling, and it was such a peacefulness that I had reached another level of spirituality. I actually saw that I was going to die. I figured that I had given my life for what I believed in. I figured I was almost dead, but I wasn't. I opened my eyes. And after that, gas was on my face. When I woke up, this cool rain, this cool little drizzle, was going against my face against that gas. I had forgotten where I was for a second there, I had felt so peaceful. And then the butt of a rifle hit me in the nose, and it broke me out of that beautifulness. After that, it was nothing but beatings. All they wanted to do was beat. All they wanted to do was kill. All they wanted was blood. Then the grief, the shock -- how many people had died, how many people I saw dead, how many people whose brains I seen blown out, testicles blown off, blood just gushing out of their bodies. The agony on some of the brothers' faces, the peacefulness in others. So many contrasts -- it was almost like life itself. [emblem] WAR SONG It is for me to eat what food I have And all day sit idle? Is it for me to drink the sweet water poured.out And all day sit idle? Is it for me to hold my child in my arms And all day sit idle? My desire was uncontrollable. It was the dizziness (of battle); I ground it to powder and therewith I painted my face. It was the drunkenness of battle I ground it to powder and therewith I tied my hair in a war knot. Then did I hold firm my well-strung bow and my smooth, straight-flying arrow. To me did I draw my far-striding sandals, and fast I tied them. Over the flat lad did I then go striding, Over the embedded stones did I then go stumbling. Under the trees in the ditches did I go stooping, Through the trees on the high ground did I go brushing quickly. In four halts did I reach the shining white eagle, my guardian, And I asked for power. Then favorable to me he felt And did bring forth this shining white stone. Our enemy's mountain he made white as with moonlight And brought them close, And across them I went striding. In four halts did I reach the blue hawk, my guardian, And I asked for power The hawk favorable to me he felt And did bring forth his blue stone, Our enemy's waters he made white as with moonlight, And around them I went striding. There did I seize and pull up and make into a bundle Those things which were my enemy's, All kinds of seeds and beautiful clouds and beautiful winds, Then came forth a thick stalk and a tassel, And the undying seed did ripen. This I did on behalf of my people. Thus should you also think and desire, All you my kinsmen.