DIY History | Transcribe | Hevelin Fanzines | Tale of the 'Evans, v. 4, issue 1, January, 1946

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Tale of the 'Evans, v. 4, issue 1, January, 1946

Page 7

ALAS, THERE'S ALWAYS A LOOPHOLE!

The curious quirks and circumlocutious cerebrations of some people's minds is mystical and wonderful to behold, not? Aye, aye, it is to laugh with exceeding great heartiness. And none of these brain-storms have been more fearful and wonderful to behold and marvel at, than those which struck one yclept Professor Archimedes Q. X. F. Loophole, resident student at Duminthehead village of Notabrain, Mass.

Behold, there was this here, now, bozo, whose classmate I was unlucky enough to be, deep in the preparation of the thesis by which he hoped to gain his coveted Master's degree. And such a thesis! Disdaining the multiplicity of decent and valuable subjects on which he might study and write, the poor sap had chosen for his theme song the title "Were Jokes Ever Told For The First Time; And If So, For Pete's Sake, Why?"

In pursuance of material for this masterly epic, he had -- at least, to hear him tell it, he had -- travelled the length, breadth and thickness of the land; sailed eight of the seven seas; taken trips to outer and inner space; gone forwards, backwards and sidewise in Time; all in wonderful machines of his own invention. From all this, he had gathered together a selection of what he considered "first editions" of what are now our popular and time-worn jokes and wise-cracks.

These, he sometimes told to small gatherings of his intimate friends -- thass a damned lie, no such bozo could ever have any friends! -- or any others he could impound long enough to listen to one of his bizarre tales.

Such an one is this strange bit to which I suffered one Winter's afternoon when a party of us were snow-bound for a time on a stalled interurban car; from which, unfortunately, we were rescued too later.

AN INDIAN TRAGEDY *

It was mid-winter of that marvellous year known, according to modern chronology, as 14,687 B. C. -- that winter so well remembered because it was so warm in the day-time that one wore but a G-string, yet needed two or three blankets under which to sleep comfortably during the night.

Once certain day, of which we now speak, great consternation, which was NOT the name of the Chief, reigned amid the teepees of the Whatalotaknees, a very neat and tidy community which nestled so nestly beside the Mother of Waters. Aye, yea, and even so, the camp was in an uproar, an downroar and a sidewaysroar, and all because a most unprecedented happening had unprecedently happened.

*This, Gentlemen of FAPA, IS a Science Fiction story -- it deals indubitably with the Science of Anthroposophy.-- Author.

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ALAS, THERE'S ALWAYS A LOOPHOLE! The curious quirks and circumlocutious cerebrations of some people's minds is mystical and wonderful to behold, not? Aye, aye, it is to laugh with exceeding great heartiness. And none of these brain-storms have been more fearful and wonderful to behold and marvel at, than those which struck one yclept Professor Archimedes Q. X. F. Loophole, resident student at Duminthehead village of Notabrain, Mass. Behold, there was this here, now, bozo, whose classmate I was unlucky enough to be, deep in the preparation of the thesis by which he hoped to gain his coveted Master's degree. And such a thesis! Disdaining the multiplicity of decent and valuable subjects on which he might study and write, the poor sap had chosen for his theme song the title "Were Jokes Ever Told For The First Time; And If So, For Pete's Sake, Why?" In pursuance of material for this masterly epic, he had -- at least, to hear him tell it, he had -- travelled the length, breadth and thickness of the land; sailed eight of the seven seas; taken trips to outer and inner space; gone forwards, backwards and sidewise in Time; all in wonderful machines of his own invention. From all this, he had gathered together a selection of what he considered "first editions" of what are now our popular and time-worn jokes and wise-cracks. These, he sometimes told to small gatherings of his intimate friends -- thass a damned lie, no such bozo could ever have any friends! -- or any others he could impound long enough to listen to one of his bizarre tales. Such an one is this strange bit to which I suffered one Winter's afternoon when a party of us were snow-bound for a time on a stalled interurban car; from which, unfortunately, we were rescued too later. AN INDIAN TRAGEDY * It was mid-winter of that marvellous year known, according to modern chronology, as 14,687 B. C. -- that winter so well remembered because it was so warm in the day-time that one wore but a G-string, yet needed two or three blankets under which to sleep comfortably during the night. Once certain day, of which we now speak, great consternation, which was NOT the name of the Chief, reigned amid the teepees of the Whatalotaknees, a very neat and tidy community which nestled so nestly beside the Mother of Waters. Aye, yea, and even so, the camp was in an uproar, an downroar and a sidewaysroar, and all because a most unprecedented happening had unprecedently happened. *This, Gentlemen of FAPA, IS a Science Fiction story -- it deals indubitably with the Science of Anthroposophy.-- Author.