DIY History | Transcribe | Hevelin Fanzines | Pluto, v. 1, issue 3, July 1940

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Pluto, v. 1, issue 3, July 1940

Page 8

               The Uncivilized
                    by
                  V.E.M.

   The scene is the Stone Age and Mug, the great and exalted ruler is making a powerful speech to his constituents:

   "Fellow citizens of the great nation of the Um Gru Bluh, (translated means: free land of the Gru's who live by the mountains, on this side of the lake, in the great forest) I am calling you here today so that we may decide a question--- a question that has much importance on the future of the Um Gruh Bluh--- a deep and vital question concerning an imminent danger to this splending civilization which is ours; one which we must decide at once or face the ultimate ruin is threatening us; a chaos that beckons, a condition that will prohibit the continuation of civilization! Yes, we must definitely decide soon; it is the most frightfully serious thing that has been foistered on the world since it's inception. The QUESTION is this: shall we let the culture, which is false, of the Um Gra Blop, (translated means: the free land of the Gra's who live by the mountains by the other side of the lake, in the lesser forest.)  creep into this fair land of ours, and disrupt the advance of civilization, or shall we fight it with all our might and chase it from our land forever and thence journey across the lake to the land of the Gra's and help in restoring to them the civilization from which they have fallen? Shall we set idly and placidly by, and see this monstrous thing happen, or shall we now gird our loins and meet the foe and correct this evil before it is too late? these evils are ghastly even to contemplate---but I must name them: one---the burning of meat before it is eaten---a horrible practice. Two--- the adulterating of fresh pure drinking water, with various flavoring substances and a chemical that is becoming known, as SUGU---small whitish crystals which are being made by the sorcerers of Um Gra Blop, from herbs, and which imparts a sweetish, sickening taste to the water. These avils must be met and destroyed at once! 

   And so it came to pass that the Um Gru Bluh, those staunch protectors of civilization, marched upon the Um Gra Blop, to try to save civilization: but so great is the power of evil they were almost completely annihilated, and that is why the world is un-civilized even yet today.

   But the spirit of the Um Gru Bluh, is still existing, and many wars are being waged, that the true civilization may as yet be regained.

   The civilizing process is a violent one, and indeed much havoc and bloodshed are witnessed from generation to generation---some say that the world will probably never be re-civilized, but the great leaders of the present day, assert that it will be, if all the women and children must be mangled, and all of the scoundrelly heads must be bashed in, of the un-believers, and their families.

Saving...

The Uncivilized by V.E.M. The scene is the Stone Age and Mug, the great and exalted ruler is making a powerful speech to his constituents: "Fellow citizens of the great nation of the Um Gru Bluh, (translated means: free land of the Gru's who live by the mountains, on this side of the lake, in the great forest) I am calling you here today so that we may decide a question--- a question that has much importance on the future of the Um Gruh Bluh--- a deep and vital question concerning an imminent danger to this splending civilization which is ours; one which we must decide at once or face the ultimate ruin is threatening us; a chaos that beckons, a condition that will prohibit the continuation of civilization! Yes, we must definitely decide soon; it is the most frightfully serious thing that has been foistered on the world since it's inception. The QUESTION is this: shall we let the culture, which is false, of the Um Gra Blop, (translated means: the free land of the Gra's who live by the mountains by the other side of the lake, in the lesser forest.) creep into this fair land of ours, and disrupt the advance of civilization, or shall we fight it with all our might and chase it from our land forever and thence journey across the lake to the land of the Gra's and help in restoring to them the civilization from which they have fallen? Shall we set idly and placidly by, and see this monstrous thing happen, or shall we now gird our loins and meet the foe and correct this evil before it is too late? these evils are ghastly even to contemplate---but I must name them: one---the burning of meat before it is eaten---a horrible practice. Two--- the adulterating of fresh pure drinking water, with various flavoring substances and a chemical that is becoming known, as SUGU---small whitish crystals which are being made by the sorcerers of Um Gra Blop, from herbs, and which imparts a sweetish, sickening taste to the water. These avils must be met and destroyed at once! And so it came to pass that the Um Gru Bluh, those staunch protectors of civilization, marched upon the Um Gra Blop, to try to save civilization: but so great is the power of evil they were almost completely annihilated, and that is why the world is un-civilized even yet today. But the spirit of the Um Gru Bluh, is still existing, and many wars are being waged, that the true civilization may as yet be regained. The civilizing process is a violent one, and indeed much havoc and bloodshed are witnessed from generation to generation---some say that the world will probably never be re-civilized, but the great leaders of the present day, assert that it will be, if all the women and children must be mangled, and all of the scoundrelly heads must be bashed in, of the un-believers, and their families.