DIY History | Transcribe | Hevelin Fanzines | Infinite, v. 1, issue 1, [1941?]

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Infinite, v. 1, issue 1, [1941?]

Page 22

WILLIW 
 WAS A 
LADY

by Leonard Marlow

       "Goog day, sir," I said, as cheerfully as I could, "Can I interest you in the latest household model?"
        "Nope," he replied firmly, his bedraggled chin-whiskers wagging like a billy-goats, "no robots!" And then he shut the door. That is, he tried to shut the door. The foot of a demonstration model, even though it be heavilly padded to prevent demage to furniture, etc., is quite an effective door stopper.
       "Oh, come now!" I said smoothly, "Surely you can use a robot. Why this model I have here can scramble eggs, bake cakes, fry ham, clean house, fire the furnace, or do almost anything else you can thing of."
      "Well," he remarked slowly, eying the foot, "Now that you mention it, it does seem to be very well trained." He grinned at my embarassment.
      "Nope," he said, even more firmly than before, "no robots!" and he again tried to shut the door.
       "Surely you have nothing against robots!" I said.
       "I sure do!" was the emphatic rejoinder.
       "What?" I queried.
       He eyed me speculatively. "Well," he said, "You seem like a nice enough young feller, so I'll tell you."
       Inwardly I sighed and gave myself a good cussing. "Why did I have to ask so many questions? Now I'm in for about an hour of his senseless drivel," I thought.
       "Well," he began, "I used to be a mechanic; darned good one, too! A pal of mine, one Jim Edwards, had thought up a robot he was sure would work. He didn't have much ability when it came to putting things together, so he hunted me up and talked me into helping him. Later I wished he had never found me!
        "We worked nights on the thing, and soon I was as enthusiastic about it as Jim was He told me what to do, and I worked like mad doing it. I didn't know much about how the thing worked, but I did know that there was an awful lot of stuff in it.
        "For a brain it had a big spenge-like hunk of metal, which was hooked up to a bunch of batteries by miles of wire. From the "brain ran another bunch of wires that went out to motors, more batteries, gears, chains, synthetic rubber muscles, and a bunch of other junk. His eyes were compound photo-electric cells, his ears were microphones. It was enough to make a guy dizzy!
       "After a month of that stuff, we finally finished the thing. I bolted the last head plate in position, and we stopped back to admire our work.
       Six feet of nice shiny steel. Willie (oh yes, we'd named him Willie a few days before) had a torse like a wash tub, his arms and legs would rival Man Moutain Dean's. His head was a big metal ball, with two wide set eyes and an ear on each side. He hadn't a nose or mouth decause he had no use for 'em. Willie was far from pretty, but to us he was almost beautiful!
        We proped him up against the wall, and Jim closed the main switch. I could hear
                   - 22 -                  (Cont. on next page)

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WILLIW WAS A LADY by Leonard Marlow "Goog day, sir," I said, as cheerfully as I could, "Can I interest you in the latest household model?" "Nope," he replied firmly, his bedraggled chin-whiskers wagging like a billy-goats, "no robots!" And then he shut the door. That is, he tried to shut the door. The foot of a demonstration model, even though it be heavilly padded to prevent demage to furniture, etc., is quite an effective door stopper. "Oh, come now!" I said smoothly, "Surely you can use a robot. Why this model I have here can scramble eggs, bake cakes, fry ham, clean house, fire the furnace, or do almost anything else you can thing of." "Well," he remarked slowly, eying the foot, "Now that you mention it, it does seem to be very well trained." He grinned at my embarassment. "Nope," he said, even more firmly than before, "no robots!" and he again tried to shut the door. "Surely you have nothing against robots!" I said. "I sure do!" was the emphatic rejoinder. "What?" I queried. He eyed me speculatively. "Well," he said, "You seem like a nice enough young feller, so I'll tell you." Inwardly I sighed and gave myself a good cussing. "Why did I have to ask so many questions? Now I'm in for about an hour of his senseless drivel," I thought. "Well," he began, "I used to be a mechanic; darned good one, too! A pal of mine, one Jim Edwards, had thought up a robot he was sure would work. He didn't have much ability when it came to putting things together, so he hunted me up and talked me into helping him. Later I wished he had never found me! "We worked nights on the thing, and soon I was as enthusiastic about it as Jim was He told me what to do, and I worked like mad doing it. I didn't know much about how the thing worked, but I did know that there was an awful lot of stuff in it. "For a brain it had a big spenge-like hunk of metal, which was hooked up to a bunch of batteries by miles of wire. From the "brain ran another bunch of wires that went out to motors, more batteries, gears, chains, synthetic rubber muscles, and a bunch of other junk. His eyes were compound photo-electric cells, his ears were microphones. It was enough to make a guy dizzy! "After a month of that stuff, we finally finished the thing. I bolted the last head plate in position, and we stopped back to admire our work. Six feet of nice shiny steel. Willie (oh yes, we'd named him Willie a few days before) had a torse like a wash tub, his arms and legs would rival Man Moutain Dean's. His head was a big metal ball, with two wide set eyes and an ear on each side. He hadn't a nose or mouth decause he had no use for 'em. Willie was far from pretty, but to us he was almost beautiful! We proped him up against the wall, and Jim closed the main switch. I could hear - 22 - (Cont. on next page)