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Stefantasy, v. 5, issue 2, June 1949
Page 14
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Stop Me if You've Heard This One Yep--they're rom TYPO GRAPHIC again One of the few animals ever to be granted an honorary degree from a university was Man O'War. A Kentucky college granted one to the immortal Big Red, and some of the professors were discussing the affair. "Do you as a scholar," a professor was asked, "find annoyance at seeing an honorary degree conferred on a dumb animal, even so distinguished a one as Man O'War?" "Not at all," was the professor's wonderful retort. This is the first time they've awarded the honor to the entire horse." Constituent: Senator, you know how you promised me a job and how you say there are not enough to go around. Senator: No, there are no jobs at present. but I think I can get you appointed on a commission to make an investigation and discover why there are no jobs. Sales girl: It's a lovely doll--you lay it down and it closes its eyes and goes to sleep like a real baby. Mrs. Jones: Have you ever had a real baby? If you ever see an editor who pleases everybody, he will be neither sitting nor standing, and there will be a lot of flowers around him. Mountaineer: You dirty skunk! You're a-going to marry my daughter! Skunk: Y-y-y-yessir. Which one? The ice man smiled as his glance fell upon a sign reading: Please drive slowly. The child in the street may be yours. A conservative is one who does not think anything should be done for the first time. Announcer: "Tell me, Miss La Tour, don't you find Beaudent Tooth Paste refreshing and pleasant to the taste?" Girl: "I certainly do." "Doesn't it's snow-white foam reach to the farthest corners of your mouth?" "It sure does." "Don't you find that Beaudent makes your teeth sparkle like precious gems?" "Yes sir!" "Is it your opinion that Beaudent is by far the most popular tooth paste n the world?" "Definitely." "Well, Miss La Tour, you certainly have convinced me." Don't attempt to drown sorrow in drink. You will only discover that sorrow is an expert swimmer. 14 STEFANTASY
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Stop Me if You've Heard This One Yep--they're rom TYPO GRAPHIC again One of the few animals ever to be granted an honorary degree from a university was Man O'War. A Kentucky college granted one to the immortal Big Red, and some of the professors were discussing the affair. "Do you as a scholar," a professor was asked, "find annoyance at seeing an honorary degree conferred on a dumb animal, even so distinguished a one as Man O'War?" "Not at all," was the professor's wonderful retort. This is the first time they've awarded the honor to the entire horse." Constituent: Senator, you know how you promised me a job and how you say there are not enough to go around. Senator: No, there are no jobs at present. but I think I can get you appointed on a commission to make an investigation and discover why there are no jobs. Sales girl: It's a lovely doll--you lay it down and it closes its eyes and goes to sleep like a real baby. Mrs. Jones: Have you ever had a real baby? If you ever see an editor who pleases everybody, he will be neither sitting nor standing, and there will be a lot of flowers around him. Mountaineer: You dirty skunk! You're a-going to marry my daughter! Skunk: Y-y-y-yessir. Which one? The ice man smiled as his glance fell upon a sign reading: Please drive slowly. The child in the street may be yours. A conservative is one who does not think anything should be done for the first time. Announcer: "Tell me, Miss La Tour, don't you find Beaudent Tooth Paste refreshing and pleasant to the taste?" Girl: "I certainly do." "Doesn't it's snow-white foam reach to the farthest corners of your mouth?" "It sure does." "Don't you find that Beaudent makes your teeth sparkle like precious gems?" "Yes sir!" "Is it your opinion that Beaudent is by far the most popular tooth paste n the world?" "Definitely." "Well, Miss La Tour, you certainly have convinced me." Don't attempt to drown sorrow in drink. You will only discover that sorrow is an expert swimmer. 14 STEFANTASY
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