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Southern Star, v. 1, issue 3, August 1941

Page 24

I Like Space-Pirate Stories    SOUTHERN STAR         Page 24

They don't die.
Live while you live.
Then die and be done with it.
They don't.
Immortal jackals.
Dopes.

I like Space-Pirate Stories,
Some of them are too humane.
But pirates always get killed.
Killed in dirty duty.
And the hero usually gets it in the neck.
Dirty neck.
The stories have decent authors.
Heh.

Time-machine authors are bad.
They must type on tissue paper.
and tear the tissue paper.
And smear the tissue paper.
And hand it to the editor.
Who throws it away.
And writes his own idea, anyway.
See, Palmer?

Queer invention stories are irritating.
There is never a failty invention.
Nor a conquering cillian.
Nor a hero without a can dyke.
And a hand-me-down brain.
All queer invention story heroes are old fuddleduddles.
Muddlepuddles.
Bah.
Not even the teeniest bit of sanity about the hero.
No sanity.
No sanity at all.
Nuts.
Then there is the machine.
They give you a bad machine.
And put it in the story.
And keept it in the story.
Oh, Eandoooooo.........
The end of the story is bad.
It is always the same.
The hero falls in the works. 
The machine breaks.
Crunch.
Then the plots.
Especially in Time Stories.
You must be a scientist.
Or save your money.
For the Dixiecon.
(Plug.)
Too much mathematics.
Not simple mathematics.
You pay for a time yarn.
You read why two and two aren't six.
Aren't they?
The plot.
Not a scientist in the plot who isn't insane.
Batty as a bedbug.

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I Like Space-Pirate Stories SOUTHERN STAR Page 24 They don't die. Live while you live. Then die and be done with it. They don't. Immortal jackals. Dopes. I like Space-Pirate Stories, Some of them are too humane. But pirates always get killed. Killed in dirty duty. And the hero usually gets it in the neck. Dirty neck. The stories have decent authors. Heh. Time-machine authors are bad. They must type on tissue paper. and tear the tissue paper. And smear the tissue paper. And hand it to the editor. Who throws it away. And writes his own idea, anyway. See, Palmer? Queer invention stories are irritating. There is never a failty invention. Nor a conquering cillian. Nor a hero without a can dyke. And a hand-me-down brain. All queer invention story heroes are old fuddleduddles. Muddlepuddles. Bah. Not even the teeniest bit of sanity about the hero. No sanity. No sanity at all. Nuts. Then there is the machine. They give you a bad machine. And put it in the story. And keept it in the story. Oh, Eandoooooo......... The end of the story is bad. It is always the same. The hero falls in the works. The machine breaks. Crunch. Then the plots. Especially in Time Stories. You must be a scientist. Or save your money. For the Dixiecon. (Plug.) Too much mathematics. Not simple mathematics. You pay for a time yarn. You read why two and two aren't six. Aren't they? The plot. Not a scientist in the plot who isn't insane. Batty as a bedbug.