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Ain't I A Woman? newspapers, June 1970-July 1971

1970-06-26 "Ain't I a Woman?" Page 3

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Gay Womanhood [Insert top center box] The purpose of having a gay page in this paper is to provide a forum for gay women to talk about gay womanhood: sharing experiences and problems and redefining the gay world. Our goal is to open up ourselves to promote understanding in the hope of breaking down the fears and taboos that keep us apart. In May, Iowa City Women's Liberation met for one day of local workshops on sexuality, one of which was lesbian consciousness. Because we felt that all the sisters could benefit from a discussion of the issues that concern gay women, we planned and held a workshop on loving women. In the first meetings of the gay sisters, we were most concerned with communicating with our straight sisters, but through consciousness-raising, we began to understand that our needs were important and valid in their own right. For all these reasons, we agreed to for a gay cell of Women's Liberation. Anyone interested in joining us or in contributing articles call: 353-5937, or write: Gay Women's Liberation Collective, 301 Jefferson Building, Iowa City, Iowa 52240. [Image of 2 connected women below box] Tues.: The morning of the meeting on "Loving Women" I woke up with a terrible pain in my stomach. I couldn't remember what made us think that we had anything to say that was important enough to call a meeting for. Why can't we think that just what we feel is valid enough to talk about without it being heavy or theoretical or well written or well said? That afternoon we planned an agenda and that helped calm my stomach. We discussed why we don't show our affection for each other by touching or hugging. It's such a glaring problem because it's so obvious that we care for each other very much. The only time we seem to feel that it's alright to touch each other is when one of us is so upset that she needs to be comforted. It's like we think we need an excuse to show how we feel. I think we decided that our inhibition stemmed from fear that our touch would be taken sexually or that other people might think that we were lesbians. The gay caucus talked about that too. We felt even more inhibited when it came to touching because we didn't know how the sisters would take it. It was decided though that this fear is another example of how society uses lesbianism to keep women apart. I should start out by admitting that it is very difficult for me to deal with this subject. I have found the whole subject of sexual relations terribly painful all my life, feeling horribly battered around by the pressures to have relations, the pressures not to have relations, and my knowing that I couldn't fit into either the woman in this society (which is heterosexual) or the image of a lesbian which this society "crudely" projects. I guess I am just mixed up about where I fit in the whole spectrum. After the lesbian workshop when the gay sisters announced the caucus and the workshop they were having, I felt somehow left out but also very anxious for the workshop because I had been wanting to talk about this. I kind of feel as if I am a strong separatist not really by any intellectual choice but because I just am. I have no desire for heterosexual relations. I cannot relate to me. I always feel too intimidated and humiliated. I don't know if I think this is a valid way to fell but that is how I feel and therefore relations with men at least for the time being are out of the question. But I don't know how to relate to women even though I know I will have to look to women for my social needs. I do feel physical attraction to other women but this frightens me ad I don't know how to deal with it. I tend to feel very intense about one person at a time. I guess basically I feel that all one-to-one intense emotional relationships are oppressive. I have never been close to anyone without feeling that it has been somewhat a power relationship with one of us caring more or being more hung up than the other, with one of us being weak, one strong, one passive, one aggressive. I have experienced this in all relations whether sex was involved or not, but it has been intensified in sexual relations. I came into the Women's Liberation Seminar on Loving Women as a new member of Women's Liberation and as part of the Gay Women's Liberation Caucus. At the first workshop once the dialogue began, ideas and, more importantly, feelings seemed to flow freely. We spoke about how showing affection in a physical way is nice and in many cases should be freer among us. We also discussed roles, stereotypes, and the positive political aspect of lesbianism concerning Women's Liberation. Generally, the questions and responses of the non-lesbian sisters were full of concern to understand and in some cases showed a growing desire to relate to other women on a more intimate and mutually meaningful love. My deepest emotional response - perhaps a combination of gratitude and affection - came as I listened to friend who had only recently discovered that some of her closer sisters were lesbians. She obviously still held doubts and probably anxieties about the issue, but instead of any withdrawal of affection toward these sisters, her words were full of affection and deep concern. Tues.: Considering that there were over 40 women at this workshop, I think the discussion moved along very well. It didn't get too personal, but I think our number prevented an in-depth discussion. The first topic - on touching - was an interesting and pertinent lead-in to the subject of loving women. Points were raised that I thought were very true, but hadn't given much thought to before. I enjoyed listening to the different views and opinions that were expressed, and thought the evening was very successful. I know I went away with several new ideas to think over. At the first workshop, I felt as if lesbianism was being presented as the alternative and I guess I have heard too many voices (like my ex-psychiatrist) telling me to have sexual relations - that it's really groovy - that I am just personally hung up. I felt like I was hearing more of the same. I don't think I have ever felt more that lesbianism was repulsive or wrong or any of the other shit that society has already told me but I guess I do feel pretty threatened by the subject. On May 19th a meeting was held on "Loving Women". To start off the meeting we went around the room with each sister stating one attribute of women which they really admired. They were: Warmth, perseverance, good to look at, less destructive humor, logic argument without bullshitting, courage, aggressiveness, honest motives, sensitivity, tolerance, patience, frankness, strong bodies (hands in particular), practicality, loyalty, clarity of expression, consistency in personal relationships, tenderness, openness, smell of women, organizing power, and the manifestation of potential in present Women's Lib movements. As a result, I feel quite a good number of sisters agree that women are (bodily) much more beautiful than men. And then, too, the other attributes enhance this beauty - inside our strong and beautiful bodies are strong and beautiful minds. Looking back over the list, I notice many of those pleasing attributes could be applied either physically or intellectually. There are some sisters who are asexual because love and sex are so intricately tied in with our political system that they (love and sex) become exploitative institutions themselves. This to me is one more argument for loving sisters - since this system is male-run, we can find our needed togetherness with our sisters. The prospect of being able to love a sister as much as I have loved a man appears much more gratifying and beautiful than a heterosexual relationship could ever be. And not just that - it appears much more sensible, for we have a hell of a lot more in common - we're all sisters! A Woman? [Arm Image] Vol 1 No 1 3
 
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