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Ain't I A Woman? newspapers, June 1970-July 1971
1971-04-02 "Ain't I a Woman?" Page 4
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The Political Economy of Collectives Our collective began in early June, nearly one year ago. At that time our financial situation was quite good: four people out of eight had jobs and in addition to that many of us put part of our savings in the collective checking account. Our monthly expenses did not exceed our income until fall when we found ourselves with only two people employed, one bringing in $273/mo. and the other $95/mo. We didn't feel the pressure of having our expenses be more than our income until November when our savings ran out. There were class differences between the individuals in the collective that resulted in feelings of inequality. These became worse when our financial situation became acute - power relationships between us deepened along economic and class lines. At a recent collective meeting when we were finally able to talk about the economic relationships between us , we noted the prestige value attached to the work that each of us did within the frame of reference of the collective. We concluded that the only work that had any prestige value, or brought to the doer collective respect, was work which furthered the existence of the collective, i.e., work which brought in money. This was obvious especially when money became a major concern to the life of the collective, then those of us who made money became more necessary or important. In other words the political work done by the unemployed members of the collective, which should have entitled them to some respect, did not because it was not basically important to the life of the collective. We found that we could not escape the prestige value of the outer culture. One of our original intents in picking a collective, socialist way of life was that it would free some people to do political work. Periodically we planned on switching and those doing political work would get jobs giving those that had been employed the opportunity to spend their time on political things. Now we see this idea as very naive, a decision made without considering the economic reality of society. It was idealistic of us not to consider our class differences and realize that because of them some of us would have access to jobs that pay more, or to consider that in the middle of hard times it would be impossible for someone who was working as a teacher to be replaced by someone who could only get a secretary's salary. Also that in this society the jobs one can quit or that are defined within a time limit like a year or nine months are those obtainable by people with certain economic privileges. Secretaries and waitresses just can't quit and expect to be rehired later. Jobs for people who haven't had class privileges like education are also hard to find. We now realize that there are many things that we should have done differently. We should have done more planning, budgeted our expenses for each week, and done more discussion of our financial situation so that everyone was informed of it. Financial decisions should have been more collective and there should have been more discussion of class. During one collective meeting we discussed the different ways we had power over each other, for instance, who could drive and who had to be driven and how it felt to be tied down to the house unless someone could drive you. That discussion was very helpful to all of us, making us more sensitive to each other. Hopefully discussions of class would also be so helpful. Another thing we should have been more regimented about was getting jobs. We were aware that eventually our savings would run out, but we left it up to individuals to get jobs -- no collective decision was made like a date by which certain people had to have jobs. As a result of the unsureness, individuals haphazardly looked for jobs and felt guilty when they weren't looking. The work of looking for a job was given no collective prestige value. If each woman had a certain date by which she had to be employed, and when the time came she was still unable to find a job, we would have been forced to deal with our economic reality. [photos of women's faces] From the Perspective of one of the Dependents From the very beginning of the collective, I worried about money. I worried about having enough money; I worried about being in the position of dependence; I worried about resentments I had toward the other women because they came from middle class backgrounds. Everyone else seemed so confident that everything would work out that I finally stopped worrying to some extent and started to trust everyone, feeling less class resentment than I ever have. I knew that if everyone worried as much as I did, we never would have even tried to live collectively so I began to trust the good intentions and financial confidence of my sisters. After living in the collective only a short time my job was terminated and for the first time in my life I didn't have to immediately look for a new job. I suddenly had lots of time and could spent it on women's liberation activities. However, I felt really guilty not working and couldn't believe no one was going to get on my back about it. I never really did get over feeling that way but still changed more than I ever thought I could. I began to really trust my sisters and not resent them for the privileges they had had. I started to almost believe I had a right not to work, a right to free time. When our financial situation became obviously bad, I felt all the old resentments and guilt feelings again. I started to feel like a dependent that people had to take care of. I resented the fact that I would have to get a shit job again - that I would have to work full time to ear what some of my sisters could earn part time; that I would have to be phoney and straight at any job I could get; that I didn't have any extra money or money from my parents so I could not escape on vacations or buying sprees. Some of the other women could. If the collective had no money, I had no money. I started to feel guilty for any expenses I had separate from expenses we all had, e.g. cigarettes. I really resented the options the other women had. When I couldn't find a job, I got more resentful, depressed, and scared. Scared because if the collective ended I had nothing to fall back on; resentful because others did; depressed because looking for jobs was awful. I think I started to feel embarrassed because I couldn't find one, embarrassed because i had to look for shit jobs, had little education, etc. I started to feel that I had to do any extra tasks around the house since I wasn't working, that I had to justify my time, that if anyone mentioned some temporary job I could do or a job that I could apply for that I had to do it. I felt that I had no choices. I also started to really feel resentful about the work I did politically (mostly shitwork for the paper) because it wasn't valued. Mostly I felt useless and embarrassed. From the perspective of the Sole Surviving Son (III-A) We now realize that to have a collective supported mainly by one person's salary is destructive both to the breadwinner and the other women in the collective. It is so hard to free oneself from the pigshit of individual ownership or private property. We all at one time or another have felt guilty for using collective money to buy something we needed -- like a pair of jeans, etc. But I believe I didn't feel it as much because it was my salary that supported us, and I knew I had a right to a pair of pants. I'm sure my sisters who did not have jobs, however, felt no such right. It is almost impossible to get away from the ethics of society, but budgeting and collective financial decisions would have made each of us feel we had more or a right to our money. About the time our economic crisis set in. I began to feel like the father of a family, the sole breadwinner. I felt I had too much responsibility, and began having resentments against the inequality of things. I felt that anyone else could leave the collective except me, because then it would have no means of support. They resented me for having a job that would enable me to leave if I wanted to. i felt put upon that I earned the money and still had to clean house on Saturday, cook and wash dishes. This, of course, was pigshit. I was not giving the political work of my sisters any prestige value, but I felt too economically responsible for the collective to be able to see value in work that brought in no money. I was amazed at how male and fatherly I felt and I didn't like it. At one collective meeting when we were discussing solutions to the problem of the non-working sisters feeling no prestige value from the collective, we considered going back to role playing. That housework which is necessary labor and therefore would have prestige value, should be done by sisters who did not earn money for the collective. The reaction of everyone was that housework was still shit work and didn't have that much prestige value ( especially to the sisters who don't value neatness) and that it would be terrible to relegate one person to that role. I had the opposite reaction knowing this solution would lessen my resentment and knowing also that being a person that values neatness I would give housework and the woman who did it a lot of appreciation and prestige value. But this was awful! Now I was reacting the way a husband must react to the little woman who cleans up his house. I've been very mixed up by the whole thing. 4 collectivelivingcollectivelivingcollectivelivingcollectivelivingcollectivelivingcollective
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The Political Economy of Collectives Our collective began in early June, nearly one year ago. At that time our financial situation was quite good: four people out of eight had jobs and in addition to that many of us put part of our savings in the collective checking account. Our monthly expenses did not exceed our income until fall when we found ourselves with only two people employed, one bringing in $273/mo. and the other $95/mo. We didn't feel the pressure of having our expenses be more than our income until November when our savings ran out. There were class differences between the individuals in the collective that resulted in feelings of inequality. These became worse when our financial situation became acute - power relationships between us deepened along economic and class lines. At a recent collective meeting when we were finally able to talk about the economic relationships between us , we noted the prestige value attached to the work that each of us did within the frame of reference of the collective. We concluded that the only work that had any prestige value, or brought to the doer collective respect, was work which furthered the existence of the collective, i.e., work which brought in money. This was obvious especially when money became a major concern to the life of the collective, then those of us who made money became more necessary or important. In other words the political work done by the unemployed members of the collective, which should have entitled them to some respect, did not because it was not basically important to the life of the collective. We found that we could not escape the prestige value of the outer culture. One of our original intents in picking a collective, socialist way of life was that it would free some people to do political work. Periodically we planned on switching and those doing political work would get jobs giving those that had been employed the opportunity to spend their time on political things. Now we see this idea as very naive, a decision made without considering the economic reality of society. It was idealistic of us not to consider our class differences and realize that because of them some of us would have access to jobs that pay more, or to consider that in the middle of hard times it would be impossible for someone who was working as a teacher to be replaced by someone who could only get a secretary's salary. Also that in this society the jobs one can quit or that are defined within a time limit like a year or nine months are those obtainable by people with certain economic privileges. Secretaries and waitresses just can't quit and expect to be rehired later. Jobs for people who haven't had class privileges like education are also hard to find. We now realize that there are many things that we should have done differently. We should have done more planning, budgeted our expenses for each week, and done more discussion of our financial situation so that everyone was informed of it. Financial decisions should have been more collective and there should have been more discussion of class. During one collective meeting we discussed the different ways we had power over each other, for instance, who could drive and who had to be driven and how it felt to be tied down to the house unless someone could drive you. That discussion was very helpful to all of us, making us more sensitive to each other. Hopefully discussions of class would also be so helpful. Another thing we should have been more regimented about was getting jobs. We were aware that eventually our savings would run out, but we left it up to individuals to get jobs -- no collective decision was made like a date by which certain people had to have jobs. As a result of the unsureness, individuals haphazardly looked for jobs and felt guilty when they weren't looking. The work of looking for a job was given no collective prestige value. If each woman had a certain date by which she had to be employed, and when the time came she was still unable to find a job, we would have been forced to deal with our economic reality. [photos of women's faces] From the Perspective of one of the Dependents From the very beginning of the collective, I worried about money. I worried about having enough money; I worried about being in the position of dependence; I worried about resentments I had toward the other women because they came from middle class backgrounds. Everyone else seemed so confident that everything would work out that I finally stopped worrying to some extent and started to trust everyone, feeling less class resentment than I ever have. I knew that if everyone worried as much as I did, we never would have even tried to live collectively so I began to trust the good intentions and financial confidence of my sisters. After living in the collective only a short time my job was terminated and for the first time in my life I didn't have to immediately look for a new job. I suddenly had lots of time and could spent it on women's liberation activities. However, I felt really guilty not working and couldn't believe no one was going to get on my back about it. I never really did get over feeling that way but still changed more than I ever thought I could. I began to really trust my sisters and not resent them for the privileges they had had. I started to almost believe I had a right not to work, a right to free time. When our financial situation became obviously bad, I felt all the old resentments and guilt feelings again. I started to feel like a dependent that people had to take care of. I resented the fact that I would have to get a shit job again - that I would have to work full time to ear what some of my sisters could earn part time; that I would have to be phoney and straight at any job I could get; that I didn't have any extra money or money from my parents so I could not escape on vacations or buying sprees. Some of the other women could. If the collective had no money, I had no money. I started to feel guilty for any expenses I had separate from expenses we all had, e.g. cigarettes. I really resented the options the other women had. When I couldn't find a job, I got more resentful, depressed, and scared. Scared because if the collective ended I had nothing to fall back on; resentful because others did; depressed because looking for jobs was awful. I think I started to feel embarrassed because I couldn't find one, embarrassed because i had to look for shit jobs, had little education, etc. I started to feel that I had to do any extra tasks around the house since I wasn't working, that I had to justify my time, that if anyone mentioned some temporary job I could do or a job that I could apply for that I had to do it. I felt that I had no choices. I also started to really feel resentful about the work I did politically (mostly shitwork for the paper) because it wasn't valued. Mostly I felt useless and embarrassed. From the perspective of the Sole Surviving Son (III-A) We now realize that to have a collective supported mainly by one person's salary is destructive both to the breadwinner and the other women in the collective. It is so hard to free oneself from the pigshit of individual ownership or private property. We all at one time or another have felt guilty for using collective money to buy something we needed -- like a pair of jeans, etc. But I believe I didn't feel it as much because it was my salary that supported us, and I knew I had a right to a pair of pants. I'm sure my sisters who did not have jobs, however, felt no such right. It is almost impossible to get away from the ethics of society, but budgeting and collective financial decisions would have made each of us feel we had more or a right to our money. About the time our economic crisis set in. I began to feel like the father of a family, the sole breadwinner. I felt I had too much responsibility, and began having resentments against the inequality of things. I felt that anyone else could leave the collective except me, because then it would have no means of support. They resented me for having a job that would enable me to leave if I wanted to. i felt put upon that I earned the money and still had to clean house on Saturday, cook and wash dishes. This, of course, was pigshit. I was not giving the political work of my sisters any prestige value, but I felt too economically responsible for the collective to be able to see value in work that brought in no money. I was amazed at how male and fatherly I felt and I didn't like it. At one collective meeting when we were discussing solutions to the problem of the non-working sisters feeling no prestige value from the collective, we considered going back to role playing. That housework which is necessary labor and therefore would have prestige value, should be done by sisters who did not earn money for the collective. The reaction of everyone was that housework was still shit work and didn't have that much prestige value ( especially to the sisters who don't value neatness) and that it would be terrible to relegate one person to that role. I had the opposite reaction knowing this solution would lessen my resentment and knowing also that being a person that values neatness I would give housework and the woman who did it a lot of appreciation and prestige value. But this was awful! Now I was reacting the way a husband must react to the little woman who cleans up his house. I've been very mixed up by the whole thing. 4 collectivelivingcollectivelivingcollectivelivingcollectivelivingcollectivelivingcollective
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