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Wudgy Tales, v. 1, issue 1, October-November 1943

Page 7

WUDGY TALES
Page 7

"But then Cluckbottom's mighty space ship trembled from stem to stern.  Our hero had succeeded...that is, he hasn't won the girl yet, but he had prevented Cluckbottom from destroying the Earth."
"That's it!" yelled Margulies.  "Never give the reader away until the last word.  A great story...we must publish it immediately...in our current issue."
"But our current issue reached the stands yesterday," objected Worthbeck.
"Call them all back," thundered Margulies, banging his fist on the table.  We'll reissue them...with Kuttner's story as a feature novel."
"Excuse me," said Fuddyduddy.  He got up and walked into a room marked "Gents Only".  A moment later he stuck his head out.  "No paper here," he grumbled. "Gimme that new Lovecraft novel."
Just then a messenger boy entered and laid a head of lettuce on the desk.  "What's this?" gasped Margulies.
"It's Williamson's new story," replied Fitzwilly.  "He certainly wrote it in a hurry."
Margulies picked up the lettuce and scanned the printed words thereon.  "Looks great," he said.  "We'll buy it.  Send it to the printers right away, and tell them to send it right back, 'cause that's going to be tomorrow's lunch."
Fuddyduddy returned with a relieved expression on his face.  "How did you like Lovecraft's paper?" asked Beckworth.
"Excellent.  He uses a very fine grade, only I wish he wouldn't punch his periods so hard--they scratch."
"Here's a new story from Hamilton," said Worthbeck.  "He's in Honolulu, and says he couldn't find anything to write it on except this hula skirt."
"Good," said Margulies, "just in time. I was wondering what I would wear to that masquerade tonight.  Which reminds me...Cummings went to China to collect details for a new story.  Wish he'd get back...he took my last week's laundry with him."
"Here's a story by Leo Margulies," said Fuddyduddy.  "A new author, I guess.  Doesn't look bad."
"Buy it," said Margulies.  "Send the fellow a check right away."
"By the way," said Fitzwilly, "we had a letter from some new writer a week ago.  He said he was going to submit a story about a scientist who went up in a stratosphere balloon and didn't come down.  So far we haven't received the story.  What happened?"
"I remember the fellow," said Margulies.  "Some new author who always enacted his stories before he wrote them."
Then Leo Margulies came to the last story in the pile of manuscripts.  The title line caught his eye: "Secret of the Crypt" by Oliver E. Saari.  He looked up.  "Has anyone read this?"
"I read it," said Fuddybuddy.  "It was marvelous.  Positively magnificent."
"I read it, too," put in Worthbeck.  "It was a masterpiece of fantasy."
"Superb!" said Fitzwilly.
"Absolutely colossal!" added Beckworth.
"Is the fellow better than Kuttner?" Margulies asked.
"Not better than Kuttner," replied Fuddyduddy, "but he puts Merritt, Taine, & Wells to shame.  He's greater than Verne or Smith or Campbell.  He's a new Weinbaum.  A second Clark Aston Smith--"
"Reject it," snorted Margulies.  "Smith, Taine, Merritt--pooey!  Tommyrot.  If the man can't approach Kuttner, his stories aren't fit for Thrilling Wonder.  Meeting adjourned!"
Presently the men departed.  Margulies waited a few minutes in order to clear up the mess they had made.  Suddenly he jerked off his mask as you no doubt anticipated, it was none other than the great villain Vv.  "Strange," he muttered.  "What am I doing here?  Must have got the Zeep condensers mixed."
Immediately the mighty Vv was enveloped by a mist-cone and whisked away to the worlds beyond.  Surprise ending.
THE END
(September 26, 1937)

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WUDGY TALES Page 7 "But then Cluckbottom's mighty space ship trembled from stem to stern. Our hero had succeeded...that is, he hasn't won the girl yet, but he had prevented Cluckbottom from destroying the Earth." "That's it!" yelled Margulies. "Never give the reader away until the last word. A great story...we must publish it immediately...in our current issue." "But our current issue reached the stands yesterday," objected Worthbeck. "Call them all back," thundered Margulies, banging his fist on the table. We'll reissue them...with Kuttner's story as a feature novel." "Excuse me," said Fuddyduddy. He got up and walked into a room marked "Gents Only". A moment later he stuck his head out. "No paper here," he grumbled. "Gimme that new Lovecraft novel." Just then a messenger boy entered and laid a head of lettuce on the desk. "What's this?" gasped Margulies. "It's Williamson's new story," replied Fitzwilly. "He certainly wrote it in a hurry." Margulies picked up the lettuce and scanned the printed words thereon. "Looks great," he said. "We'll buy it. Send it to the printers right away, and tell them to send it right back, 'cause that's going to be tomorrow's lunch." Fuddyduddy returned with a relieved expression on his face. "How did you like Lovecraft's paper?" asked Beckworth. "Excellent. He uses a very fine grade, only I wish he wouldn't punch his periods so hard--they scratch." "Here's a new story from Hamilton," said Worthbeck. "He's in Honolulu, and says he couldn't find anything to write it on except this hula skirt." "Good," said Margulies, "just in time. I was wondering what I would wear to that masquerade tonight. Which reminds me...Cummings went to China to collect details for a new story. Wish he'd get back...he took my last week's laundry with him." "Here's a story by Leo Margulies," said Fuddyduddy. "A new author, I guess. Doesn't look bad." "Buy it," said Margulies. "Send the fellow a check right away." "By the way," said Fitzwilly, "we had a letter from some new writer a week ago. He said he was going to submit a story about a scientist who went up in a stratosphere balloon and didn't come down. So far we haven't received the story. What happened?" "I remember the fellow," said Margulies. "Some new author who always enacted his stories before he wrote them." Then Leo Margulies came to the last story in the pile of manuscripts. The title line caught his eye: "Secret of the Crypt" by Oliver E. Saari. He looked up. "Has anyone read this?" "I read it," said Fuddybuddy. "It was marvelous. Positively magnificent." "I read it, too," put in Worthbeck. "It was a masterpiece of fantasy." "Superb!" said Fitzwilly. "Absolutely colossal!" added Beckworth. "Is the fellow better than Kuttner?" Margulies asked. "Not better than Kuttner," replied Fuddyduddy, "but he puts Merritt, Taine, & Wells to shame. He's greater than Verne or Smith or Campbell. He's a new Weinbaum. A second Clark Aston Smith--" "Reject it," snorted Margulies. "Smith, Taine, Merritt--pooey! Tommyrot. If the man can't approach Kuttner, his stories aren't fit for Thrilling Wonder. Meeting adjourned!" Presently the men departed. Margulies waited a few minutes in order to clear up the mess they had made. Suddenly he jerked off his mask as you no doubt anticipated, it was none other than the great villain Vv. "Strange," he muttered. "What am I doing here? Must have got the Zeep condensers mixed." Immediately the mighty Vv was enveloped by a mist-cone and whisked away to the worlds beyond. Surprise ending. THE END (September 26, 1937)