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Fantasmia, issue 1
Page 6
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DEAR DIARY:- a column of sorts by me again, Tom Jewett Have you noticed how many airplanes have crashed lately? Being an stfan I immediately deduce that a dastardly plan is being carried out by some foul fiend. It's not illogical. Perhaps a Nazi scientist who escaped capture has devised a powerful ray which renders ignition systems inoperative. It can be done. Or maybe a Jap fugitive has perfected a method to explode fuel tanks from afar. It's not impossible. Or a daro may be shooting out a ray which pulls airplanes to their destruction. No comment. This deplorable state of affairs was not duplicated before the war. It may be that mass-produced airplanes made for the Armed Forces during the war were constructed in a slip-shod mannor with poor parts. Could be. But planes are disposable, whereas human lives are not. But you must admit that day after dya, airplanes are unexpectedly meeting destruction. It's getting so I'm afraid to send things airmail anymore. In Massachusetts, the home of the Puritans who thought shapely underpinning a thing of moral debsement, a rocent survey showed that ordinarily dressed waitresses rated smaller tips than those at the Hotel Sheraton, who were garbed in transparent skirts, among other things. Shows the Atomic Age is really here... I've read an article which states that a "treatment" has been perfected to keep old people young. This, as any middle-aged man or women knows, is a good thing. The term for this building branch of science is "gerontotherapy", but people will try it anyway. This is the stop towards the perpetual agelessness well known to any stf or fantasy reader. Imagine civilization where nobody dies! God, and we thought there was an answer to the mother-in-law problems. FAN-TYPES by one of 'em, Tom Jowett "Scientific" fan-- This type intersnarses his letters with psuedo-scinetific jargon which reeks of double-talk. Tries to explain to everybody the theory of Relativity, then pulls the old saw of 'who can explain relatives?' Carries a slide-rule wherever he goes. Gobbles about speed of light and what makes a time machine tick. Pulls scientific theories on unsuspecting fans. Tries to make a super-calculator out of his type-writer. Reads Astounding Science-Fiction. (Ed. note: Have read so much commentary on Null A that I'm sick and tired of the subject! Now somebody analysis "Conclusion Doubtfyl") COMIC: Kilroy? ? ? ? ? ? who's on first? From: Tom Jowett--370 George Street--Clyde, Ohio Contents: printed matter Return postage guranteed-Natch!
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DEAR DIARY:- a column of sorts by me again, Tom Jewett Have you noticed how many airplanes have crashed lately? Being an stfan I immediately deduce that a dastardly plan is being carried out by some foul fiend. It's not illogical. Perhaps a Nazi scientist who escaped capture has devised a powerful ray which renders ignition systems inoperative. It can be done. Or maybe a Jap fugitive has perfected a method to explode fuel tanks from afar. It's not impossible. Or a daro may be shooting out a ray which pulls airplanes to their destruction. No comment. This deplorable state of affairs was not duplicated before the war. It may be that mass-produced airplanes made for the Armed Forces during the war were constructed in a slip-shod mannor with poor parts. Could be. But planes are disposable, whereas human lives are not. But you must admit that day after dya, airplanes are unexpectedly meeting destruction. It's getting so I'm afraid to send things airmail anymore. In Massachusetts, the home of the Puritans who thought shapely underpinning a thing of moral debsement, a rocent survey showed that ordinarily dressed waitresses rated smaller tips than those at the Hotel Sheraton, who were garbed in transparent skirts, among other things. Shows the Atomic Age is really here... I've read an article which states that a "treatment" has been perfected to keep old people young. This, as any middle-aged man or women knows, is a good thing. The term for this building branch of science is "gerontotherapy", but people will try it anyway. This is the stop towards the perpetual agelessness well known to any stf or fantasy reader. Imagine civilization where nobody dies! God, and we thought there was an answer to the mother-in-law problems. FAN-TYPES by one of 'em, Tom Jowett "Scientific" fan-- This type intersnarses his letters with psuedo-scinetific jargon which reeks of double-talk. Tries to explain to everybody the theory of Relativity, then pulls the old saw of 'who can explain relatives?' Carries a slide-rule wherever he goes. Gobbles about speed of light and what makes a time machine tick. Pulls scientific theories on unsuspecting fans. Tries to make a super-calculator out of his type-writer. Reads Astounding Science-Fiction. (Ed. note: Have read so much commentary on Null A that I'm sick and tired of the subject! Now somebody analysis "Conclusion Doubtfyl") COMIC: Kilroy? ? ? ? ? ? who's on first? From: Tom Jowett--370 George Street--Clyde, Ohio Contents: printed matter Return postage guranteed-Natch!
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